To want 9s not 7s for my child in their GCSEs?

You are not being unreasonable for wanting your child to do well, however if they are getting good grades now as long as they have enough marks for college, uni apprenticeship ect. Does it matter? In 10 year time when they are applying for jobs no one is going to be asking about GCSE results they will be looking at what their last job and experience was

I'm proud of my grades but I will never forget the one that got away.

Surely you did your GCSEs at least 25 years ago? It's really time to move on.

I agree OP. As a parent you’re powerless to hold schools to high standards. My ND kids have been dumped in low sets in maths and science from early age and have no chance of getting more than a 5 - currently failing. Yet they aspire to university in subjects they are strong in. But there’s nothing we can do to hold teachers to account because they’re stressed and busy, plus they can’t serve all kids’ needs.

It isn't really up to you is it? I wouldn't put such heavy expectations on them. I would suggest you support them, especially emotionally, and lay off the pressure. You'll do more harm than good if you carry on.

I'm surprised at that, but I stand corrected. What course did she want to do?

@PointsSouth
"The moment the kid starts sixth form it won't matter at all what the GCSE grades were. And it will never matter again."
Definitely not true I'm afraid. DD had a 5 for English GCSE. She needed a 6 for her preferred uni course, so had to make different choices.

in education all my working career and now run voluntarily run a charity. Please back off. Agree totally with @poetryandwine

PM

The moment the kid starts sixth form it won't matter at all what the GCSE grades were. And it will never matter again.

I've interviewed and employed dozens of young people - post A-levels and post-University. I don't think I ever asked about their GCSEs, and certainly not about their grades. But if I had, I would have considered a 6 or 7 average very good going.

What really got those young people the job, by the way, was an engaging personality and apparent self-confidence. And those are not attributes that are developed by kids who have been told by their parents that they are a disappointment and that they ought to do better.

Maybe you want the grades for you, rather than for the kid. But, believe me, all nines does not indicate that you're a better parent than sevens would.

Ouch, calling or treating your dyslexic child as lazy is likely to have a huge impact on them and their self esteem. In the nicest possible way I think you may need to reflect a little on the boxes you’re putting them in.

Same @kierenthecommunity a C sounds much better than 4 out of 9’and here a 7 is seen as just not good enough which an A never did

But I've learnt here that 7 is an excellent mark and not a C, which is how I mentally thought of it.

Re the above. This is why I hate with the heat of a thousand suns this grading system.

I hate that three of the grades are a variation of an A so by default a 4 sound really low when in fact it’s a C. Which when I was at school was considered a respectable grade!

My son’s grades are largely 4/5 which make him sound mediocre. When in reality he’s trying really hard, and would be passing everything if these were his GCSE marks.

There are a handful of people saying the OPs son should be trying harder, that if he’s getting 7s with minimum effort he could easily get 9s. And maybe he could - but it’s a personality thing isn’t it? Maybe he’s happy to coast. Maybe he’s lucky he can do minimum work and get good grades. And maybe one day he will look back and wish he’d tried harder. But like my granddad used to say, you can’t put an old head on young shoulders.

I remember when the 1-9 system came in people were claiming that all 9s would be of the order of 1-2 students in the country. Not %, individual students. I remember arguing at the time that it would be more because so many of the factors that lead to 9s tend to cluster. So a small % but still a decent number of students is much more what I was expecting.

Here's a thread from the time - I'm in there somewhere under a different username saying that it'll be a lot more than 2 students :) It got a bit bogged down discussing whether or not teachers should have a stab at predicting 9s.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/secondary/2887164-DfE-Data-Cruncher-predicts-number-of-students-who-will-get-straight-9s?page=1

My child is nowhere near exam age yet so I’m not really sure how the grading system works these days but to hopefully offer you some reassurance, I was the middle child, I was naturally academically gifted but unlike the sound of your middle child I was incredibly lazy and did no homework or revision and ended up with B’s pretty much across the board. This was good enough for me to do the A levels I wanted to do, then after that point, universities and jobs don’t really care about GCSEs. I have a successful career and was able to buy my first property on my own at 26 so I’d say I did alright for myself.
Basically don’t worry too much and if your son is motivated enough to do his work himself, don’t put any additional unnecessary pressure on him, that could just lead to stress and burnout which may make him do worse. Just constantly let him know how proud you are of him and support him. That’s all he needs

IMO 7s are absolutely fine and there is so much more to life! Grades are only part of a 'successful life'. Studies have repeatedly shown that social skills, networking, and a passion for something have far more impact on success and happiness, than just getting top grades.

Is your child happy with their grades? Didn't the teachers mention if they thought your child should be aiming higher. My DC has been getting 7 8 and 9s since starting secondary now in yr10 is getting 9s and 8s I never help them. Did help sibling get 7s in gcse as they needed help every child is different all you can do is ask if they need help and be there incase they do.

I'd be happy for my DS to get any GCSEs but given the percentage at his school of above 5s is 0% I'll be whistling into the wind.
Count your blessings.

How would you be able to tell how hard they worked?

Is this before or after the change from letters to numbers bexause I agree that the letter system of A* A B C did do that. But actually an A was good and seen as being something to aspire to

the problem is here that by further breaking it down to 7,8 and 9 7 is no longer seen as being a good outcome by some

but given that the number of pupils who got all 9s looks to be 1270 out of 677000 (around 0.2%)
that is an awful lot pupils not getting all 9s

getting a 7 and above should be an achievement getting a 4 and above also should - this is a system when around 30% fail

www.gov.uk/government/publications/infographic-gcse-results-2024/infographics-for-gcse-results-2024-accessible

Here is one:https://www.theguardian.com/education/2024/feb/22/gcse-grades-a-good-predictor-of-life-chances-and-wellbeing-research-shows

GCSE grades have an excellent track record in predicting the future lives and careers of young adults, according to researchers, who found the exams were even more crucial for those from disadvantaged backgrounds.

“What we can definitely say is that GCSEs have a considerable impact on how your life develops into your early 20s, and that the benefits from GCSEs are over and above the education someone obtains later,” said Alexandra Starr, a post-doctoral researcher at the University of York and one of the study’s authors.

“The main message I would say is that GCSE grades are important in real life. We always talk about whether exams are only important within the education system, to climb the next rung in the educational ladder. But it’s also important beyond that.”

That’s the point. Which is why only the OP and her DC know what is real.

If the OP had said they were currently getting 3s and were capable of 5s the conversation would be very different, but the scenario is the same.

Some people work their arses off for 7s. Some can achieve them easily. That’s the OP’s whole point.

As I said, it depends on the circumstances. I will be a lot more impressed by a DC at a sink school with terrible behaviour and teaching who manages a few 8s and 9s than someone at a private or Indy who lazes about and gets 7s despite all their advantages.

Wow ! Let your child work to their own abilities, not you expectations.

How do you know they lazed about? Maybe they worked bloody hard to achieve 7s or had difficult circumstances or home lives.

Your child is not you!

If you continue to pressure them your relationship with them will become problematic.

You could be influencing your child's thoughts about themselves and they may develop the idea they are not good enough. Be very careful!