To want 9s not 7s for my child in their GCSEs?

It’s pretty much whst my year 10 did. She probably does an hour a night now in year 11 and probably 2 on a Saturday and 3 on a Sunday

it is his March of Year 10

Just as long as they get the grades they need to move on to A Levels or whatever further education they are aiming for, that's all they need. Once they are at the next stage, their GCSE results will be irrelevant and forgotten for ever more

An hour every other night is not working hard by any definition.

It’s not unusual that a kid in Year 10 isn’t achieving 9’s, if they are currently working at a 7, the way to improve that will be to add more detail, more facts, more advanced language in English etc, and hopefully start scoring those 8’s and 9’s by the end of this academic year/start of Year 11. They are graded on the GCSE scale from the start, and are expected to achieve certain grades in certain Years, with 8 or 9 being the ultimate goal by Yr11. What is your son’s predicted grade? This should be more indicative than what he’s currently getting.

It is possible to get 9s in state school. But please don’t diminish your child’s achievements. She’s working hard and will get fantastic grades by the sound of it as long as she keeps up all her hard work. The worst thing you can do to a child who is doing their best already is pile on the pressure and make them feel they’re not good enough.

Lots of kids from state schools get 9s. My DD got 11 A*s (Wales use the letter grades) because she worked really hard (she is clever but not exceptional). She put herself under so much pressure that she became extremely ill. YABU to put pressure on your daughter.

He is doing hardly any work.

How about you get your eldest privately tested for dyslexia instead of continuing to call them lazy and letting them struggle.

stop seeing your middle child’s work and achievements as not enough.

And maybe ask yourself if your children are actually happy as that’s what’s really important in life. They could leave school with the top marks possible but if they’ve had a stressful, miserable upbringing because you put so much pressure on them and nothing they did was ever good enough, those achievements mean nothing because they’ll go on to be insecure unhappy adults.

Focus more on spending time with your children not talking about school and grades. Have fun with them.

Also you say your middle child doesn’t need your help because they do everything themselves. Have you ever hear the saying “Just because someone makes what they’re carrying look easy doesn’t mean the load isn’t heavy.”

Your poor middle child probably feels they have to be overly self sufficient as you have a “lazy” older child and a younger child with extra needs so they don’t want to add extra burden.

YABU and slightly unhinged. Your child is doing well, there’s no ‘should’ about it. You will cause your child MH issues if you continue acting neurotic about grades.

Of course children get 9s in state schools, however not all of them can, just the same as in private; don’t focus so much on grades as long as your child is working hard and more importantly, they are HAPPY!

If they're displaying they're capable of 9s and coasting at 7s I can understand wanting them to put some effort in.

If they're displaying they're capable of 7s and you want them to be getting 9s because of your ego or experience with pressure in your own childhood of course you'd be unreasonable.

Kids should be encouraged to strive to meet their potential, to work hard, to give themselves options but never pressured to exceed it.

Their future involves emotional safety, mental health alongside good grades. And your kids are getting good grades

Ffs OP
Your child is willingly studying - which suggests they enjoy it. Are you trying to make them feel bad. I really despair over parents like you who see that their kids are doing well, but think it's not good enough.

Are you hoping your child will learn to hate studying? Or maybe you can push them so hard, their mental health will suffer. Maybe you'll push so hard that your relationship with her will be damaged.
Like I said- I despair

He is doing extra work though! He doesn't sound lazy to me. I do get what you're saying but I think we push children too hard, if he's getting 7s now he can easily step up the effort nearer the exams and get higher grades, they don't need to work at full pelt for two solid years, especially if they are bright.

Hi OP, my comment wasn't aimed at you, I'm sorry I didn't make that clear. Someone else was referring to your son as lazy and there was a whole conversation around that which I was responding to.

I totally understand that pressure is trying to do the best for children with multiple and varied needs. My ill child is actually my least challenging! I have many more worries about my other one, who I had to take out of school.

I think with your son maybe have a chat with him, does he feel he is pushing himself as hard as he could? And look into resources if he needs them, especially on the keywords they need to get those high grades because it's all about knowing how to pass the exam rather than actually understanding the subject. BUT I think year 10 is early to worry - year 11 is when you need to step it all up a gear.

Ultimately though he will be absolutely fine with those grades, and they can always resit! This isn't the only opportunity to take exams, learning can be lifelong. That's something I've had to hold onto regarding my ill child, because we can only do our best in the circumstances we are in at the moment.

You sound like a very loving mum and I'm sure your children will all do well in their own way.

Just because someone gets 7s does not mean they can’t be lazy. Some ‘bright’ students could get 7s with no work but be capable of better with some revision.

There are very, very few scenarios where getting a 7 instead of a 6 matters. And even fewer when getting an 8 or a 9 instead of a 7 is important. My DD is doing A Levels now and we can’t even always accurately remember her GCSE grades!

You and your DS should know the minimum requirements for whatever he needs to do next and aim for at least that, plus building good study and organisational habits.

TBH I would be more concerned about your oldest right now. You say he “probably” has dyslexia. Why isn’t he getting tested and getting extra support??

That is a different question though - if you were to ask AIBU to think my middle child might get lost and his needs not met then no you aren’t. Whst I think you are asking for is ways to help him reach his full potential

Do people really believe that all pass GCSEs open the same doors m the next stages?

Lots of schools and colleges will require an 8 to do A Level Maths. Most will want a 7 for other subjects or minimum 6 at GCSE.

When applying to uni, higher ranking ones and popular courses will want a string of GCSEs above 7 for you to be competitive against other candidates. To get offers you’d need A and A star predictions - which are not likely for candidates with GCSE LEVEL 6/7.

Of course A levels and degrees aren’t for everyone but a large proportion of the population want to do them and it’s simply wrong to say GCSEs orca Leveks don’t matter.

When firms recruit for grad jobs, most will filter by A level grades as one of their criteria. I’m the first years of a career your qualifications DO matter. Yes, later on experience counts but you have to get your foot in the door.

Not everyone can be academic and for lots, grades 5/6 which are pretty much average are a great attainment. But why should someone capable of much more not be encouraged to strive for more? To tell them their GCSEs are just a passport to next stage and the grades, as long as a pass isn’t true and doing them a massive dis-service to say so.

Remember there’s been big grade inflation since we weeee at school - far more passing and far more were getting As. It’s why the A star and then 9 were introduced because so many had the top grades, unis and workplaces couldn’t distinguish between them. Someone with a 7 at GCSE MATHS’S most likely A Level grades are D/E. It doesmatter.

Not everyone can be a top achiever but over 30% get grades 7-9 and about 15-20% get 8/9. that’s a lot of kids. State schools achieve lots of 8/9 and many kids are capable of getting some of these grades. Many won’t get them across the board but will get some. More could get them if they worked hard and aimed higher.

Work ethic is important. It’s a parents job to encourage it and that isn’t abusive or setting unreasonable expectations.

When I was at school ( early 80’s) a ‘C’ grade was considered to be a good mark to get. Anything above that was exceptional!!! My ‘O’ levels were all ‘C’s and some ‘’B’s and it was considered that I had done really, really well, at the time, but looking at my results with today’s eyes, it looks a bit mediocre!

Oh please, you can want but they are great grades. I despise the new system, originally an A then an A, now A*. It makes what were fantastic accomplishments marginalised and very unfair. Your DC is clearly conscientious and working to the best of her ability, be proud not wish for more! Xx

As long as they are working hard then yes you should absolutely be happy with 6's and 7's. I'd still probably pay for a tutor in an attempt to boost grades a bit/help with revision. But there isn't too much else you can do really. Support them and encourage hard work but don't indicate what you hope for/expect from them as that's a lot of pressure.

This thread is interesting to read as the mum of a child who has a health condition and is only able to sit 4 GCSEs, with grades likely to be 4-6. I really wouldn't call a child doing a full set with predicted 7s lazy or underachieving! I think some people could do with touching grass and counting their blessings.

Isn't the point more that GCSEs are a passport to the next step which opens options to the next step.

Not that I think a DC should be pushed.

It's really tough to get 7s. And kids who get 9s are often in a different league completely. Or they have no life.

Be proud of your kid getting 6s or 7s.

If you'd like them to have a chance look online for videos about how to get 9s, watch YouTube Clips and use things like BBC Bitesize.

I think to a certain extent gcse grades DO matter - a 4 in English and maths for example (or functional skills) some things will require more such as 6+ for degree etc

what doesn’t is the 7-9 bracket