To want 9s not 7s for my child in their GCSEs?

I secretly agree that most kids could probably knuckle down and get 6s or 7s if they really wanted to at GCSE. They’re not very difficult and we do settle for mediocre or good enough.

Encouraging a child to work hard to reach their potential doesn’t automatically lead to mental health issues. If anything, if done well, it encourage resilience and perseverance, which are all linked to future success and happiness.

The clear link between hard work and success is one that I’m keen to encourage. That said, if a child has genuinely done their very best and recieved a lower mark, that’s fine and to be celebrated just as much as a higher mark.

So yes, OP, if my child was capable of more than a 7 but received a predicted 7, I would be disappointed. But again, if they really stretched for the 7 and couldn’t do more, of course I’d be happy.

What is your experience out of interest?

That really hit home for me. My parents wanted the best for me and the focus was on top grades and my academic potential. My very good GCSE grades were a source of disappointment forever after due to not getting all A*s. And I don't feel good enough to this day. I don't blame them or think it's just down to that but with my DD I am going to focus on effort and as long as she enjoys learning and tries her best and is being supported to do so I will do my very best not to focus on her grades.

If you compare grade stats from old GCSEs it’s similar % getting A as 7. An A is very good. A or 8/9 is obviously excellent but it won’t make much if any difference to future. Congratulate and ignore anyone telling you different. I think 8/9 is unhelpful as it’s around 10% so same as old A but is being seen differently.

Please tell me how this is ignorant? Getting a 9 has no bearing on whether you're at a state school or a private school and exam boards do not set different exams for private and state schools unless, as the previous poster said, they're doing the IGCSE. The only person who is being ignorant is you.

One of mine didn’t try hard and got a couple of 8s, a few 6s and mostly 5s. He is very able and I was disappointed but not surprised as he didn’t put the effort in throughout secondary. I think it shocked him that he did worse than friends he considered less able, he worked much harder for A levels and got a great degree, so underperforming at GCSE need not be such a bad thing. My other one worked her best and though not as academic outperformed her sibling at GCSE and got mostly 7s, with one 8, a few 6s and a 5. I was delighted. As long as they get grades that allow them to move on to the next stage and pass eng lang and maths, it doesn’t matter.

Sounds like they are doing very well.
Maybe think about mental health problems that stem from parents putting to much pressure on children .
Even if they seem totally fine you can never really know how they feel

What extended papers?

I have a bright model pupil as well. She got what would be considered 8s with a couple of 9s. To follow the path she needs, 7s would be enough. I'd be delighted if she was getting those, and enjoying school, behaving well and doing great socially. That's the goal for school.

This is such a toxic and damaging way of thinking.
Having these high expectations for your children are really, really damaging.

If they are capable and work to get 9’s that’s fantastic.

However, if they aren’t capable of 9’s, but still try their hardest and achieve 6’s and 7’s then that’s also fantastic.

Getting the highest grades isn’t the be all and end all of life. You should be more concerned about wether your child is happy and healthy.

As long as they try their best -that’s all that should matter.

It makes me really sad to see some parents who won’t accept anything less than top grades.

I tried hard at school and got good results, but not without consequences to my health. I do believe both my children could achieve the 8s and 9s if they revised more, but they just don’t want to. They are happy enough with where they are at. I have accepted that they are not me and what I did at school was my choice. Whilst I encourage them, I won’t pressure them.

DD, bog standard academy, 9 x9s and 1x8. Asked her for her best piece of advice and it's "know the mark scheme."

It’s a sensible attitude, not a mediocre one. If they need 7s for their next course, that’s not a mediocre grade, but it’s a fact that they don’t need 9s for it. If, however, they are looking to attend a top university beyond A Levels, then they may well be competing with others who get 9s, and therefore this may be the benchmark they need to hit. It all depends on what they want to do next.

Please don't put this amount of pressure on your child. Every year you read trafic stories of children who had too much pressure from their parents.

Help him to do as well he can and make sure he knows its important.

But also make sure he knows that if it all goes wrong, it's OK and it will just mean a different route to where he wants to be.

No idea either but manners and politeness are just as important as grades!

Also, what year did you do your GCSEs? I did well, but they are so much harder now, no more waffling on and pontificating about a simile in English lit to get an A/B 😂 My year 8 DS is top set for maths and they’re covering now what we did in late year 9/10 back in the 90s. So bear that in mind - you might not have done as well nowadays!

What on earth is wrong with this comment?

Unless you are talking about iGCSEs being different from GCSEs, is that what you mean?

My child got 9’s in every subject from a state school- naturally smart we didn’t it push them at all- then left school during year 12 as was undiagnosed ADHD and life overwhelmed them. You are being totally unreasonable - I am not sure whether your post is tongue in cheek you are being so unreasonable. Wish for a happy healthy child- yours is working hard and you still want more

DN got predicted mostly 7s and ended up getting a good few 9s. Maybe teachers are just reluctant to predict them to avoid disappointment? A small wobble on the day is all it takes. Please do not express to your child that you’re disappointed they aren’t predicted all 9s…

My super bright, got into a super selective state grammar school DS got 7’s, 8’s and a couple of 9’s and I was fucking delighted with him.

Do not push her to the 9’s just support her revision as best you can and be damned proud of the results she does get.

Totally disagree- that attitude of mediocrity doesn’t serve anyone well in any aspect of life.

This.

You can help them reach their potential by providing a calm, supportive and non pressured atmosphere.

Seek advice at school as to how you can help your child - both for results and their mental health.

One way to help their understanding and revision is to get your child to explain things they have learnt, processes, history, maths etc etc.

Coursework - many waste time and effort on fancy borders etc. Obtain the mark scheme and address the aspects of the project that pull in points.

In a few years whether they got 7s or 9s will be immaterial. Even A level grades won’t matter that much.

Just praying for four 4s for my DD. She is really clever but finds school hard. As a high achiever myself at school it has been a big adjustment for me in terms of mindset. I think you should be openly happy with 7 and above whilst secretly hoping for some 9s (without letting them know that!)

Well husband is wrong, but 9s and 8s are hard to get - think it's 5% and 7% each or thereabouts

Don't think there's anything wrong with being aspirational but if your child is working to the best of their ability and getting 7s then great. If they're model ie passive and get it done without fuss but also without really bothering them then a chat?

As a secondary school teacher who sees this scenario play out every year, the only thing that matters is that they get the grades that enable them to do what they want to do next.

Any wishes for them beyond that are just ego.