To want 9s not 7s for my child in their GCSEs?

My husband nor I have any formal qualifications. We have a successful business with no money worries, mortgages paid off etc. For me a good work ethic is much more important . Our eldest did ok at school, average GCSE’s, average A level results but she wanted to be a teacher and has worked hard in her career and is now a deputy head. Our younger two aren’t particularly academic a couple of 5’s each. Both have ambition and I’ve no doubt they’ll do well in life.

Ds is in y13 - works his arse off and his anxious (though hides it well) . In his most recent parents' pm, one of his teachers (despite singing his praises) has told him that he needs to strive for an A* , as he is working at an A .
If it was face to face rather than zoom and we weren't cut off after the allotted time period, I would have challenged her pushiness.
NOTHING is worth compromisisng a child's mental health / happiness for.
All the best to your daughter !

At my DC's GCSE options presentation, they explained the "new" marking scheme and said that a 9 is the equivalent of the top 10% of A*. YABU, not all "bright" children can get 9s across the board.

9s are like getting A**

They're not bright enough to get all 9s if theyre predicted 7s. 7 are good!

My DS is achieving distinctions in Engineering which he enjoys.
Apart from that he is predicted anywhere from 4 to 7 across the board.
If he achieves these I will be over the moon. For me as long as he doesn't need to resit Maths and English he will have done brilliantly.
He isn't academic particularly but is trying. That is all I ask. His best.
I would rather have a healthy and happy child who isn't feeling pressured.

No one really cares about GCSE results beyond getting to the next stage. My child got beyond average GCSEs (only one 8 !) excelled in ALevels, was interviewed by Oxford & is in first year at UCL.

You are putting too much pressure on him.

DD is doing her GCSEs this year and is predicts between 5-9 depending on the subjects. I know that she is work hard and doing her absolute best and will proud of whatever grades she will get as she will have done her best. However, she is never going to get a 9 in maths as she isn’t that way inclined where as she is very likely to get an 8 if not a 9 in art as this is where her talent/ intelligence lies.

Please stop pressuring your child!

Well I’m pleased my son will be getting 4s and 5s.

YABU. 7s are good, grades can’t always be perfect

Me and my DH were solid 9 kind of students. It's not all it's cracked up to be, especially when it becomes so much of your identity to be the academic super achiever.

Grades don't indicate how intelligent you are, just how good you are at exams an school work. They also don't predict how successful you will be in the long run.

I wanted a more balanced approach for my children so just told them that if as long as they did their best, I would be proud of them. A 5 grade that a student has worked hard for can be worth more than a 9 that comes easily. Don't put that kind of pressure on your kids. It sounds like your child is a decent human being, which is worth far more anyway.

Once the child has their GCSE results and have achieved enough to get to their next stage, you will see GCSEs are just a stepping stone.

FWIW my child got 1’s and I am so, so proud. Her attendance was below 20% so to pass with a 1 was incredible.

Child is a model student and no problems with behaviour or attendance. Definitely seems intelligent and diligently completes homework, often without prompting.

But maybe not of the quality which merits a higher mark than 7s.

Is your DC curious? Interested in stuff for the sake of it? Is your DC an independent reader who enjoys reading books & learning about things? Dp you encourage a wide range of activities, and add family enrichment: art galleries, museums, theatre, engaging activities such as learning an instrument, or dance?

Why “should” they be getting 9s?!

Are you living your life vicariously through your kids @ZeldaFighter ?

7 -9 is brilliant. 6 is also really good. Students achieving 4 or more grade 8 or above are top tier.

Learning how to pass exams is the secret, boring but true.

YOU can strive for 9’s as much as you like but YOU aren’t sitting them.

YABU
Don't pressure them !
As long as they get what they need in the subjects they want to move forward with those grades are fine

That's still much better than average. Not going to disadvantage them in any way!

We're kind of having this struggle at home as oldest DC got all 7s-9s and DH is having difficulty accepting that youngest, who is bright but has ADHD that makes learning challenging, is not going to be in that bracket and may even not pass every exam (but I predict he'll manage 4-6s). The only worry is that we both come from families where everyone just got top results, went to good universities etc and we're not necessarily used to following another path, as we may have to with youngest, particularly if he doesn't get the minimum grade for 6th form in English Language which is my personal biggest worry, although I know there are options.

But your DC is not even looking at results that will cause issues for next steps.

I regularly hire people in my job, and I’d rather a more rounded candidate. Nobody’s looking at their GCSE grades after A level / college, it’s merely the key to the next level.
Far too much pressure is put on children to be the best. Straight 9’s is no guarantee of happiness, future wealth or anything else.

Yeah. All those people who say yes mine got all 9’s and now go to oxbridge but it doesn’t matter!

As long as they are working hard and achieving potential, please don't push for more.
I got 6A, 3A's, and 1B, in the days when A was highest could get. My mum focused so much on the 1 B, went to my school asking for it to be submitted for re marking, there must be a mistake etc etc. I worked my absolute arse off for those grades as I was aiming to get into medicine, so for the focus to be on that B was really frustrating

It does not matter.

not one employer will think of my goodness. They got a 7. Not a 9!!!!!

after the age of 25 I haven’t since been asked my GCSE result and they really don’t mean much.

all they really mean are you can retain information and copy it back down.

You can be a model student and work hard, it doesn't mean you're capable of getting 9's.

Presumably they are working to the best of their ability so you need to lay off the pressure.

Howard Gardner has a theory of multiple intelligences. He thinks schools tend to cater for quite a narrow sort of intelligence involving language and logic. That means rather a lot of children are short-changed. Once you go out into the world you realise being that sort of clever isn't the only way to be clever - whatever people who excel at language and logic would like you to believe!