Would you go to the same place partner went to with an ex?

we (Dh + 2DC) went on holiday last summer. DH said he’d been to destination with ex-fiancé before. When we got to the hotel it turns he booked the same one as he’d been to 10 years before with her. We had a good laugh about it & he even text his ex to tell her 😂

So you’d rule out going to an entire continent, because your boyfriend had already been there in a previous relationship?

This sounds bonkers, if a prospective date felt this way I'd run for the hills in all honesty. I don't live in a huge place, it rule a ton of places out. Crazy!

Maybe staying in the honeymoon suite where he stayed after marrying his ex would be too much.

But a restaurant... come on

Restaurants are fine, i wouldn't start driving miles and miles for dinner just because they have been there with someone else!

Holidays though, myself and my husband ( 2nd marriage for us both) don't plan on going anywhere either of us have ever been before, just all new places from now on.

Depends on all sorts of things. I was pissed off when my ex took his other woman to a place we often went together, but if he takes his new one there 20 years on, I couldn’t care less.

DH suggested a place when we hadn’t been together long, casually saying “it was nice when I went there with Kerry!” I was a bit iffy at the time, but now wouldn’t mind, I’ve been there with work and it was indeed lovely. After all this time I’m not worried that he’s pining away for Kerry, who I understand is very nice but wasn’t The One, but at that early stage wasn’t sure how the land lay. Pubs/restaurants in town I wouldn’t think twice about as it’s a small place and there aren’t that many options.

I mean I think I’d suggest a different hotel if it was a holiday to the same place and it came up in conversation but restaurants wouldn’t bother me. I actually think it’s a bit batshit tbh.

‘Her point was it would remind her partner of his exes,’

I don’t believe this is how most men think, really. They don’t think ‘oh let’s go to Bistro, that will remind me of Sandra’ , they think ‘you always get a good pizza at Bistro, Let’s go there on Monday.’ Unless they are heartbroken, they will have more or less forgotten Sandra….

I wouldn't let it bother me with restaurants etc (although they're mostly closed now as been married 20 years!) I never really questioned it tbh. BUT DH got married the first time in New York and he wanted to go back but I refused to go with him. Don't think I'll ever want to tbh.

This

Gosh of course.. how would you manage your life? I mean even going to the same town or City or supermarket you went to with an ex.. you can't possibly avoid it.
That's just plain stupid.

I thought this was going to be about holiday destinations visited with an ex! I think it’s fair enough to perhaps not put those to the top of the travel list.

Your friend is being ridiculous here though.

This is so ridiculous.

If it’s somewhere special then probably avoid it. My friend was gutted when she left her ex and father of her kids and 2 weeks later he was at their favourite restaurant they went to pretty much exclusively with a date. They’re still together and go all the time. But he has no imagination and it’s a good restaurant. She just had to get over it and she hasn’t been back.

I remember a particularly tricky debate with an ex where we tried to choose holiday destinations where we hadn’t been with a previous partner and it got ridiculous given we’re not spring chicken and have lived a life! We ended up booking a couple of places that either he’d been to or we both had and had a great time.

Does she think he’s not over his ex? They can always make new memories as long as he doesn’t keep saying things like ‘I’ve always loved the steak here’ as that would be an unhelpful reminder.

Restaurants - not bothered.
Romantic hotel/holiday - I wouldn't like it

If it's a good restaurant what does it matter if he has been there with a previous partner. There are only so many venues so surely at some point chances are you will go somewhere where your partner went with an ex?

I remember going to Australia with dh (years ago before we were married) and while we were there him casually dropping it in the conversation that he'd been there with his ex. I was livid, not so much that he'd been there with her but I was hurt that I'd thought it was something special he'd done with me only to find out he'd already been there with her. It does put a downer on things I think, but at least your friends bf was honest beforehand.

It's a petty jealousy thing 'Oooh how could you have had a life before me?'

Personally, I'm not bothered but Ive been with DH 20 years, so dating anyone else is ancient history.

I've heard on the grapevine that exh is taking new girlfriend to places we went to, including the same villa on a Greek island.

I also heard that he took me places that he took his ex.

Some people just have no imagination!

If this is simply a place they went to - ok, understandable, esp if its a small town, for example, and they were together years.

I went on a few dates with someone who not only deliberately only went to the places he went to with his ex but also told me all the stories relating the times he was there with her. I felt like we are doing a tribute tour.

I think it largely depends on how it makes you feel.

It bothered me honestly my ex husband wanted to recreate his first marriage so for example "western super mare" was their favourite holiday destination she used to live there they visited more than once a year we get together he wants to go there I suggested elsewhere he wanted the same wedding venue I refused 😂 he bought her roses I don't like them he continually bought them for me until I began rehoming them with his mother now he is with number three he is taking her to the places WE went to he also took his last girlfriend to the same place we went to also it's genuinely like he has no ideas of his own (don't get me started on the engagement rings)

I should add that apart from the wedding venue I did not know until after we split and it makes me feel icky just thinking about it

I live in Manchester and if I had to start dating again and a new partner wouldn't go to any restaurants I'd been to with my DP, that would basically rule out every decent eating establishment in the entire city and quite a few bad ones as well!

Ridiculous.