To make a complaint about this head of year

Bloody hell, everyone’s got a stick up their arse! Nothing wrong with what the kid said (foxes mating sound awful) and while what the teacher said wasn’t great, it’s not the end of the world, move on.

I was a teacher and I would have pulled up the kid who made the first comment, or at least given a "no, thank you".

The HOY was inappropriate and I can see why your daughter would feel sad about it. I wouldn't personally have the courage to complain about it.

Most Teenagers love it when teachers make off colour jokes

Sadly some people look to be offended. The op is one. You sound like a great teacher.

When we transferred to the "upper school" , which really was up the hill from the "lower school" our new form tutor said " Girls cover your ears..Boys if you mess about in any of your classes, I'll give you the biggest bollocking you've ever had". Inappropriate yes. But instant respect from the whole class.

I agree with this, sounds like pretty standard sometimes near the knuckle humour used to build connections with some teenagers.

You need to unclench OP but it sounds like you have a bone to pick with this teacher so am guessing you won’t listen to the sensible voices on this thread.

You've got too much time on your hands.

I’m a secondary teacher and there are lots of jokes like this between kids and staff- they look terrible in print but are actually a sign they get on well- today my lovely year 8 class and I were joking how I was going to swing them round and kick them over the fence ( we have an ongoing joke about the chokey and how one year 8 has to be sacrificed every year) sounds awful on paper - but is v funny in real life and some parents even mentioned it positively at parents eve!

So NOT something I would be complaining about.

Teen was inappropriate and teacher made sarcastic joke back.

The child who made the 'like a chid dying' remark was actually accurate. That's what I thought when I first heard foxes mating behaviour which happens at this time of year. The HOY was incorrect in her response: she should have responded to the child making the statement something like, 'Yes, that is what foxes sound like and it is frightening/disturbing. But you don't need to worry because nothing bad was happening.' What she actaully did was use it as an excuse to express her supressed (but not deeply enough) feelings and frustrations about schoolchildren, which was unprofessional. And as far as the 'traumatised' replies go: someone doesn't have to be traumatised by a remark for it to be a bad thing. That teacher's remark was poorly judged and in bad taste and she knew it, because she tried to 'style it out' to another teacher.

WTF? Your Year 2 child knew what sex was? In year 2?? That's disturbing. More disturbing than anything in the OP.

It’s a JOKE.

Complain all you want but you will be placated to your face and mocked behind your back.

pathetic!

This ^
Why must everyone take offence at everything these days, and then complain? It’s exhausting.

Seriously???

YABU.
Child made an inappropriate comment. HOY (perhaps poorly) tried to cover this up by making a joke out of it.
I highly doubt they wish children dead and if your child is level headed which I think you say they are then they would realise this.

Oh lord, no wonder schools struggle to recruit. My children would have laughed at the HoY’s ‘joke’.

Why not open up a conversation with your daughter around why the HOY may have said that. What school life is like for them as a job. Rather than going on the defensive

i do agree though it is a rather near knuckle thing to say in school assembly

after acknowledging her upset of course

Honestly, who gives a shit? A couple of bad jokes are not worth getting worked up over

Get over it and stop making a mountain out of a molehill. The child who made the comparison set the tone of the conversation and the teacher deflected it with a flippant comment of similar tone.

Your dd basically decided to be offended and dragged mummy into it. You are now feeding it too.

We wonder why teachers have a hard time and are capable of such flippant comments. Well here is an example.

Could not get myself worked up about this. A bit inappropriate but not sure it puts HOY or the boy who made the first comment in psychopath territory.

Oh good lord, yes of course you would be unreasonable.

A teacher makes an inappropriate but silly joke and according to you it means she hates children and wishes death upon them? 🙄

Hopefully your daughter is a little more level headed.

Do you actually and genuinely believe that the HOY wants children dead? In your heart of hearts, do you believe it? Of course not. It was a stupid off the cuff remark but come on. HOY is one of the hardest jobs in school. There is a mass exodus of staff from schools and one of the reasons is an increase in complaints from parents. There are things worth complaining about. This is not one of them imo.

I agree! I certainly wouldn’t let DD see me get het up over things like this either, just laugh and let it go. She’s 13, not 6. Best to teach her not to hold onto things.

It was a joke. Not particularly funny, but it was a joke. It wasn't racist, or sexist or anything that would be grounds for complaint. .

You would genuinely complain to the school about a joke made to a 13 year old? Are you going to say your daughter is traumatised? Perhaps she genuinely believes the teacher wants them all dead?
I suggest you google “Daily Mail Sad Face” and hot foot it to the local paper as it’s important that teachers lives are constantly made harder and that children are never taught when to shrug off minimally poor taste jokes.