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Original poster

To make a complaint about this head of year

142 replies

Newfoundzestforlife · 13/03/2025 16:30

Today in assembly at my child's school...
Child tells head of year that he has foxes in his garden at night and they sound like a child dying. Head of year replies "If only!" Then she apparently smirked at another teacher saying "Yes I did just say that".
My 13 daughter knew how wrong that was.
This head of year has form for saying really inappropriate things, very odd woman, but wishing death on kids? Why work with them if she hates them that much?

OP posts:
Pippinsdiary · 13/03/2025 18:49

DrFosterWentToGloucester23 · 13/03/2025 16:34

The comparison was your daughter’s. It was a bad joke but a joke nonetheless. I couldn’t get worked up over this. Also, from the age of your daughter, I’m guessing this is the head of Y8? This is the most challenging year group for behaviour by far. Cut them a bit of slack!

I’m sorry I don’t agree, it’s not acceptable for any teacher to be saying things like that. It’s not a joke

Boredofbeinganadult · 13/03/2025 18:36

he was inappropriate but I wouldn’t complain

IdaGlossop · 13/03/2025 18:30

Fstt1978 · 13/03/2025 18:27

Well done you
How do you cope with watching telly

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???

IdaGlossop · 13/03/2025 18:29

NiftyKoala · 13/03/2025 17:16

Seriously???

A report published today on teacher recruitment cites parental behaviour as one of the main reasons teachers leave the profession. A parental intervention about a casual and humorous remark is just the kind of clutter beleaguered teachers can do without.

Fstt1978 · 13/03/2025 18:27

IdaGlossop · 13/03/2025 18:26

I have never heard a child dying so don't know what it sounds like. When I hear foxes in my garden, I think 'poor vixen', not 'dying child'.

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Well done you
How do you cope with watching telly

Disco2022 · 13/03/2025 18:27

Also bearing in mind this is a second hand story from your DD that happened in a room with at least a whole year group in it, could the original comment have been that it sounds like "crying" not "dying" in which case it is a different vibe?

What do you imagine will happen with your complaint?

Even in the strictest of schools we would have a word with the teacher she or he would say, "oh gosh I didn't mean it like that" or "I didn't actually say that," and then we would call you back and tell you that. If we actually thought something inappropriate had been said we would waste students learning time getting statements and everyone would give slightly different versions and we wouldn't be able to ascertain exactly what happened and we would call you and tell you that.

But then your always going to be "that parent" and you haven't even had any actual outcome from the complaint!

IdaGlossop · 13/03/2025 18:26

RafaistheKingofClay · 13/03/2025 18:22

It would still sound like a child dying whether you know it’s the foxes having sex or not. It’s a description of the sound.

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I have never heard a child dying so don't know what it sounds like. When I hear foxes in my garden, I think 'poor vixen', not 'dying child'.

Dramatic · 13/03/2025 18:24

Oh come on it's clearly a joke, teachers said stuff like this all the time when I was at school, it's to build up rapport with teenager who are notoriously hard to get on side. I bet most of the kids found it funny, I know my 14 and 13 year olds would have and I would have laughed if they told me their teacher said that.

RafaistheKingofClay · 13/03/2025 18:22

IdaGlossop · 13/03/2025 18:15

The comment by the other pupil is troubling. Assuming they are 13, it's high time an adult at home told them they are hearing the sound of foxes having sex. The comment by the HoY wasn't great. But it really isn't a big deal.

It would still sound like a child dying whether you know it’s the foxes having sex or not. It’s a description of the sound.

ItGhoul · 13/03/2025 18:20

Do you take everything this literally, OP?

Do you seriously, honestly believe that the teacher in question actually wants to see children die? Or do you think it was actually just a dark joke that a bunch of teenagers should be more than capable of understanding as such?

gingertodgers · 13/03/2025 18:18

Only complain if you truly believe he wants all children dead. In which case he'd be out of work anyway.

Endofyear · 13/03/2025 18:17

It was a joke 🙄 of course you shouldn't make a complaint!

pinkdelight · 13/03/2025 18:16

wishing death on kids? Why work with them if she hates them that much?

I truly despair at the mix of humourless literalism, offence-seeking and complaint-eagerness. Your child is old enough to understand subtext and the subtext is not that the HoY wishes death on kids and hates them. Perhaps they give your DC too much credit for having the intelligence to share in such humour rather than running home to mum to get it wrong. Eesh, who'd be a teacher!

IdaGlossop · 13/03/2025 18:15

The comment by the other pupil is troubling. Assuming they are 13, it's high time an adult at home told them they are hearing the sound of foxes having sex. The comment by the HoY wasn't great. But it really isn't a big deal.

Ritzybitzy · 13/03/2025 18:14

noblegiraffe · 13/03/2025 18:09

Please don’t waste the school’s time with this, they’ve got plenty of important stuff to be getting on with.

We do but also complaints like this give us life!

Onlyvisiting · 13/03/2025 18:14

KerryBlues · 13/03/2025 16:38

Your child said the fox made a sound like a “child dying”??
Your issue should be with that, and that alone.
That’s quite disturbing.

It'd fairly common to describe foxes as sounding like a woman screaming/someone being attacked. Have you heard it? It's pretty accurate and im not sure why you think it is offensive. Its why people find it remarkable/alarming.

Implying that you WISH it was an actual child dying is weird and inappropriate, especially for a teacher.

Blue444 · 13/03/2025 18:11

KerryBlues · 13/03/2025 16:38

Your child said the fox made a sound like a “child dying”??
Your issue should be with that, and that alone.
That’s quite disturbing.

Foxes do sound like that. Hence a load of foxes are called a scream, it's an awful noise

noblegiraffe · 13/03/2025 18:09

Please don’t waste the school’s time with this, they’ve got plenty of important stuff to be getting on with.

Lucyccfc68 · 13/03/2025 18:08

I seriously feel sorry for teachers. They are humans and those who can have a sense of humour with the students are usually the best and most respected teachers.

Seriously, stop clutching your pearls and move on.

YesHonestly · 13/03/2025 18:08

Don’t be that parent.

NiftyKoala · 13/03/2025 18:04

Fstt1978 · 13/03/2025 17:23

I’m a secondary teacher and there are lots of jokes like this between kids and staff- they look terrible in print but are actually a sign they get on well- today my lovely year 8 class and I were joking how I was going to swing them round and kick them over the fence ( we have an ongoing joke about the chokey and how one year 8 has to be sacrificed every year) sounds awful on paper - but is v funny in real life and some parents even mentioned it positively at parents eve!

I'd be happy to have you teach my child. You sound great!

Elendel · 13/03/2025 17:59

Out of all the things kids say, that comment really doesn't stand out. Some people must live a life sheltered far away from budding teenagers!

The HOY has a sense of humour. I told my class the other day that the copious amounts of caffeine I consume is the only way I get through the last lesson of the day with them. A few years back I sent a kid to get a long weight from the technician. When they tell me they're dying from hunger I ask them to do so quietly. A bit of laughter can go a long way in forming a relationship.

Ritzybitzy · 13/03/2025 17:36

AnotherDayAnotherIdea · 13/03/2025 17:31

I was a teacher and I would have pulled up the kid who made the first comment, or at least given a "no, thank you".

The HOY was inappropriate and I can see why your daughter would feel sad about it. I wouldn't personally have the courage to complain about it.

We know what kind of teacher you were 😂

Ritzybitzy · 13/03/2025 17:36

OldCottageGreenhouse · 13/03/2025 17:20

WTF? Your Year 2 child knew what sex was? In year 2?? That's disturbing. More disturbing than anything in the OP.

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Only it’s not. It’s completely age appropriate and in fact reproduction starts in the curriculum at that age.

Curious, your 6/7 year old asks how baby brother was made. What’s your answer…?

OldCottageGreenhouse · 13/03/2025 17:34

@Fstt1978 You sound ace!