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Original poster

To make a complaint about this head of year

142 replies

Newfoundzestforlife · 13/03/2025 16:30

Today in assembly at my child's school...
Child tells head of year that he has foxes in his garden at night and they sound like a child dying. Head of year replies "If only!" Then she apparently smirked at another teacher saying "Yes I did just say that".
My 13 daughter knew how wrong that was.
This head of year has form for saying really inappropriate things, very odd woman, but wishing death on kids? Why work with them if she hates them that much?

OP posts:
IdaGlossop · 13/03/2025 20:53

cardibach · 13/03/2025 18:58

There’s no indication the first child isn’t fully aware the foxes are having sex. He said they sounded like a child dying, not that he thought they were killing one.

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That's true. Whether the child knew or not, the reference to a child dying is upsetting (for the child).

WhatGoesHere · 13/03/2025 20:12

CaptainFuture · 13/03/2025 19:57

This, op and her dd would have apoplexy if someone made the
'No hoy doesn't HATE children, they like them, but couldn't eat a whole one' joke!

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Eating babies?? How disgusting. Who do I email to complain to?

Braveneworld · 13/03/2025 20:12

Jesus give the teacher a break. My partner is a high school teacher and regularly comes home telling me about all the profanities he's been called and the violence he has to deal with. If a teacher makes a slight light comment as a joke, that everyone clearly knows is a joke and clearly they're not threatening to actually kill kids, who cares.

WhatGoesHere · 13/03/2025 20:11

Pick your battles OP. What do you think would even come from the complaint / what outcome would you want?

Just tell your kid it was a crap joke and leave it be.

TheAmusedQuail · 13/03/2025 20:08

If every teacher that ever made a slightly inappropriate comment was sacked, you'd have unqualified staff teaching most classes.

CaptainFuture · 13/03/2025 19:57

pinkdelight · 13/03/2025 18:16

wishing death on kids? Why work with them if she hates them that much?

I truly despair at the mix of humourless literalism, offence-seeking and complaint-eagerness. Your child is old enough to understand subtext and the subtext is not that the HoY wishes death on kids and hates them. Perhaps they give your DC too much credit for having the intelligence to share in such humour rather than running home to mum to get it wrong. Eesh, who'd be a teacher!

This, op and her dd would have apoplexy if someone made the
'No hoy doesn't HATE children, they like them, but couldn't eat a whole one' joke!

Ritzybitzy · 13/03/2025 19:30

IdaGlossop · 13/03/2025 18:26

I have never heard a child dying so don't know what it sounds like. When I hear foxes in my garden, I think 'poor vixen', not 'dying child'.

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oh come off it. You think poor vixen because you know that’s what it is. If you’ve got no reference point it absolutely sounds like death.

100PercentFaithful · 13/03/2025 19:29

It would be much more useful to use it as a way to teach your child resilience OP.
Making a big deal of it and complaining is just ridiculous to my mind.

derxa · 13/03/2025 19:29

Thank god I no longer teach. Why did the pupil make the remark about foxes in the first place?

terracelane23 · 13/03/2025 19:28

Silly comment but nothing to get worked up about. Move on.

Kahless · 13/03/2025 19:24

justlookatours · 13/03/2025 16:44

I don’t think either were inappropriate.

Child dying - screaming and high pitched, descriptive not factual. Macabre simile but no big thing. HOY made a joke.

Everyone needs to chill the fuck out!

Yeah!

Total non issue

arcticpandas · 13/03/2025 19:24

MyUmberSeal · 13/03/2025 19:15

I think it was quite a witty reply from the head of year actually 😂.

Agree. And so would most teenagers. The only ones I would worry about is the autistic ones who take everything literally so should maybe explain it was a joke to them.
OP you should hear my son's head: he actually called some boys in his class "dicks". He then went on to say "I don't give a fuck if you tell your parents, I know I'm a good teacher but these dicks keep interrupting my class". Ds loved it. He's 15 and autistic but thought it really funny because some boys were acting like dicks. He made me promise not to say something to the teacher who is very popular among the teens because he's not afraid of foul language and yes, he's a good teacher by academic standards as well.

Fstt1978 · 13/03/2025 19:18

Pippinsdiary · 13/03/2025 18:49

I’m sorry I don’t agree, it’s not acceptable for any teacher to be saying things like that. It’s not a joke

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It literally is a joke

cramptramp · 13/03/2025 19:18

It was funny. If my child had told me a member of school staff had said that I'd have laughed. So would my child.

MyUmberSeal · 13/03/2025 19:15

I think it was quite a witty reply from the head of year actually 😂.

W0tnow · 13/03/2025 19:15

I mean, it is a bit funny.

Slave2Avocads · 13/03/2025 19:12

You are seriously going to complain about this silly dark joke? Get a grip. absolutely pathetic waste of time.

ThesebeautifulthingsthatIvegot · 13/03/2025 19:12

sunstreaming · 13/03/2025 17:20

The child who made the 'like a chid dying' remark was actually accurate. That's what I thought when I first heard foxes mating behaviour which happens at this time of year. The HOY was incorrect in her response: she should have responded to the child making the statement something like, 'Yes, that is what foxes sound like and it is frightening/disturbing. But you don't need to worry because nothing bad was happening.' What she actaully did was use it as an excuse to express her supressed (but not deeply enough) feelings and frustrations about schoolchildren, which was unprofessional. And as far as the 'traumatised' replies go: someone doesn't have to be traumatised by a remark for it to be a bad thing. That teacher's remark was poorly judged and in bad taste and she knew it, because she tried to 'style it out' to another teacher.

A 13 year old who says foxes sound like a child dying in assembly in front of their peers is highly unlikely to need that patronising response. They most likely said it to play the clown.

The joke was unnecessary but unharmful.

MargaretThursday · 13/03/2025 19:11

Round here the police often put something out at this time of year saying that a scream may be a vixen. They are happy to investigate it if people are worried, but they ask people to be aware of this.

I'd say that's just a silly joke that the teacher made, and the kids probably for the majority appreciated.
We had teachers who said things like:
"Someone once asked me if I liked children; I said, 'yes, on toast'."

They clearly were jokes - like the old one "have you no homes to go to" for a kid hanging about after school hours, and no one thought they hated the kids - really the opposite. It tended to be the popular teachers who did a lot for the pupils that said that sort of thing.

SemperIdem · 13/03/2025 19:09

I wouldn’t complain about this.

Oblomov25 · 13/03/2025 19:06

I can't believe that you are seriously going to make a complaint. About this? Seriously?

cardibach · 13/03/2025 18:58

IdaGlossop · 13/03/2025 18:15

The comment by the other pupil is troubling. Assuming they are 13, it's high time an adult at home told them they are hearing the sound of foxes having sex. The comment by the HoY wasn't great. But it really isn't a big deal.

There’s no indication the first child isn’t fully aware the foxes are having sex. He said they sounded like a child dying, not that he thought they were killing one.

Notgoodatpoetrybutgreatatlit · 13/03/2025 18:57

I used to play Wheatus -Teenage Dirtbag at the start of assembly when I was head of year. When that year group left they sent a delegate to me to ask that I didn't use it with my new year group as it was their special song.
Teenagers also have a sense of humour. Also they hate disco which I played quite often.

Pippinsdiary · 13/03/2025 18:51

KerryBlues · 13/03/2025 16:38

Your child said the fox made a sound like a “child dying”??
Your issue should be with that, and that alone.
That’s quite disturbing.

The difference is, a CHILD said that and it does sound like something horrible is happening to a child/baby, ive thought it myself.

stanleypops66 · 13/03/2025 18:49

It was sarcasm. Quite funny too.