Page 2 | To make a complaint about this head of year

Newfoundzestforlife · 2025-03-13T16:30:10+00:00

Today in assembly at my child's school... Child tells head of year that he has foxes in his garden at night and they sound like a child dying. Head of year replies "If only!" Then she apparently smirked at another teacher saying "Yes I did just say that". My 13 daughter knew how wrong that was. This head of year has form for saying really inappropriate things, very odd woman, but wishing death on kids? Why work with them if she hates them that much?

ItGhoul · 14/03/2025 16:50

Pippinsdiary · 13/03/2025 18:49

I’m sorry I don’t agree, it’s not acceptable for any teacher to be saying things like that. It’s not a joke

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It literally was a joke, though. You might not find it funny, but that doesn't mean it wasn't a joke.

ThesebeautifulthingsthatIvegot · 14/03/2025 16:47

pikkumyy77 · 14/03/2025 11:50

“Its a hard job” isn’t the excuse you think it is. The joke is inappropriate because it revealed the HOY’s underlying, unconscious, hatred of her charges and her job. Hostility from nurses to patients and teachers to students—or politicians to voters—is common (see e.g. the work of Erving Goffman—but that doesn’t make it forgivable. In fact It was more of a freudian slip than a joke. And the HOY knew it . She’s not a goddamned standup comedian. She should have ignored the child’s bud for attention or defused it. Instead she used the child’s inappropriate comment to reveal her antipathy to her job and charges.

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I don't think you understand what a joke is. The HOY made a joke. In a joke, one can exaggerate for comic effect. The teacher may sometimes feel frustrated by children's behaviour, and she exaggerated this for comic effect. Because she is a human and because humour can build relationships.

I feel frustrated by children's behaviour sometimes. But I don't have an unconscious hatred of them, I am not hostile to them and I do not have antipathy to my job or children. I care about them all, and I'm bloody good at my job. I even enjoy it occasionally.

TheSnootiestFox · 14/03/2025 15:44

Pippinsdiary · 13/03/2025 21:00

To a bunch of children? Do you not realise how weird that is?

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But it isn't though. Ex teacher here and you, my love, are exactly why there's a teacher shortage. I knew I'd had enough when a parent came up to my classroom uninvited or signed in, pinned me to my chair and screamed in my face for asking her son to be quiet. Teachers firstly need to be able to do their job without kids opening their mouths every 20 seconds, and secondly need to be allowed to react to those comments how they will. We do have personalities you know, you need a certain amount of presence to stand up in front of 30 kids for 5 hours a day.

If you're easily offended or can't engage in banter, you're best sticking to the back of the typing pool or whatever and letting those who can crack on!

pikkumyy77 · 14/03/2025 14:50

Anthropologist turned licensed therapist.

MrsPeregrine · 14/03/2025 13:51

KerryBlues · 13/03/2025 16:38

Your child said the fox made a sound like a “child dying”??
Your issue should be with that, and that alone.
That’s quite disturbing.

It really isn’t… 🙄

CaptainFuture · 14/03/2025 13:49

pikkumyy77 · 14/03/2025 11:50

“Its a hard job” isn’t the excuse you think it is. The joke is inappropriate because it revealed the HOY’s underlying, unconscious, hatred of her charges and her job. Hostility from nurses to patients and teachers to students—or politicians to voters—is common (see e.g. the work of Erving Goffman—but that doesn’t make it forgivable. In fact It was more of a freudian slip than a joke. And the HOY knew it . She’s not a goddamned standup comedian. She should have ignored the child’s bud for attention or defused it. Instead she used the child’s inappropriate comment to reveal her antipathy to her job and charges.

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What job do you do? @pikkumyy77

kindlyensure · 14/03/2025 11:59

Haven't RTWFT, but I interpreted the 'joke' with the 'smirk' (if indeed that happened) as a joke about sex. So the 'if only' was a - lol, it was actually sex/if only/I should be so lucky, kind of double entendre.

I mean, still not great, but within the boundaries of humour between two adults (teacher to teacher), rather than saying she hoped a child would die. To a child.

Anyway. Just goes to show how things can be interpreted, especially when you are not there. The whole interaction sounds a bit odd, tbh.

pikkumyy77 · 14/03/2025 11:50

Partridgewell · 13/03/2025 17:00

Do you actually and genuinely believe that the HOY wants children dead? In your heart of hearts, do you believe it? Of course not. It was a stupid off the cuff remark but come on. HOY is one of the hardest jobs in school. There is a mass exodus of staff from schools and one of the reasons is an increase in complaints from parents. There are things worth complaining about. This is not one of them imo.

“Its a hard job” isn’t the excuse you think it is. The joke is inappropriate because it revealed the HOY’s underlying, unconscious, hatred of her charges and her job. Hostility from nurses to patients and teachers to students—or politicians to voters—is common (see e.g. the work of Erving Goffman—but that doesn’t make it forgivable. In fact It was more of a freudian slip than a joke. And the HOY knew it . She’s not a goddamned standup comedian. She should have ignored the child’s bud for attention or defused it. Instead she used the child’s inappropriate comment to reveal her antipathy to her job and charges.

TheAmusedQuail · 14/03/2025 11:40

MeAndMyCatCharlotte · 14/03/2025 10:38

This teacher IS stupid and IS in the wrong job.

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I'd like to see the teachers that people with this attitude DO approve of.

You realise almost NO ONE wants to be a teacher anymore, right? It's this or home schooling.

SwingTheMonkey · 14/03/2025 11:40

Neither comment would have made me even raise an eyebrow.

stclementine · 14/03/2025 11:27

When I was teaching a long, long time ago, I had many complaints from parents about things I’d supposedly said - none of which I actually said but either made up by the child, Mia heard or misinterpreted. Same with all the other teachers in the school. It’s why I quit. God help teachers these days because it sounds like it’s 1000x worse.

MeAndMyCatCharlotte · 14/03/2025 10:38

Fstt1978 · 13/03/2025 21:15

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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This teacher IS stupid and IS in the wrong job.

MeAndMyCatCharlotte · 14/03/2025 10:36

derxa · 13/03/2025 21:19

Oh give up

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I see you are an ex-teacher so your comment makes sense. Unfortunately, I have had the displeasure of encountering plenty of similarly smug teachers and ex-teachers in my working life.

Ritzybitzy · 13/03/2025 22:28

Pippinsdiary · 13/03/2025 21:00

To a bunch of children? Do you not realise how weird that is?

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You realise teachers have relationships with their students right? They laugh and joke with them.

derxa · 13/03/2025 21:20

CaptainFuture · 13/03/2025 21:19

Start with Ofsted > 101 > Head of MI5> King Charles> God.....
WILL NOBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!!!😭

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🤣

derxa · 13/03/2025 21:19

MeAndMyCatCharlotte · 13/03/2025 21:14

That teacher is stupid to be working with children if she hates them that much. Definitely an inappropriate comment that would bother me. Thank goodness your daughter knows how wrong it was.

Oh give up

CaptainFuture · 13/03/2025 21:19

WhatGoesHere · 13/03/2025 20:12

Eating babies?? How disgusting. Who do I email to complain to?

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Start with Ofsted > 101 > Head of MI5> King Charles> God.....
WILL NOBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!!!😭

Fstt1978 · 13/03/2025 21:15

MeAndMyCatCharlotte · 13/03/2025 21:14

That teacher is stupid to be working with children if she hates them that much. Definitely an inappropriate comment that would bother me. Thank goodness your daughter knows how wrong it was.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

MeAndMyCatCharlotte · 13/03/2025 21:14

That teacher is stupid to be working with children if she hates them that much. Definitely an inappropriate comment that would bother me. Thank goodness your daughter knows how wrong it was.

Fstt1978 · 13/03/2025 21:14

Good lord

IdaGlossop · 13/03/2025 21:13

Ritzybitzy · 13/03/2025 20:56

The dying child? Which child? You know no actual child was dying..?

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I assumed no actual child died but thinking about it again, maybe the pupil has experienced a child dying.

Fstt1978 · 13/03/2025 21:05

Pippinsdiary · 13/03/2025 21:00

To a bunch of children? Do you not realise how weird that is?

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Yes I do. It's jot weird at all. Ps they are young people with great personalities not serious earnest little perpetually offended machines or babies. if you want to go down this route, no teacher will ever be able to speak honestly and with heart to your child. It will be the equivalent of automated call centre workers.

Pippinsdiary · 13/03/2025 21:00

Fstt1978 · 13/03/2025 19:18

It literally is a joke

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To a bunch of children? Do you not realise how weird that is?

Fstt1978 · 13/03/2025 20:59

Ffs the sentence "a dying child" is enough to upset a teenager now apparently, whilst being said with a smile in a large group. The upset child needs to have more emotional strength

Ritzybitzy · 13/03/2025 20:56

IdaGlossop · 13/03/2025 20:53

That's true. Whether the child knew or not, the reference to a child dying is upsetting (for the child).

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The dying child? Which child? You know no actual child was dying..?