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Original poster

To wonder if sister murdered or harmed deliberately ?

116 replies

Lavenderfarmcottage · 13/03/2025 15:48

My sister died aged 40 last year during a mental health ward admission/stay for mental health episode. I am not in the UK but an English speaking country with a health system similar.
I was told the hospital report into death would be thorough. Directors said it was likely the diazepam which shouldn’t have been prescribed with suspected sleep apnoea.
Recently spoke to a Journalist and read the report with fresh eyes. On the morning of her death there are conflicting statements about whether she was settled or sleeping. I have attached a photo. This report was signed by 5 executives/ directors at hospital get the report contradicts itself.
I have contacted the coroner and been igbored and the hospital. My Mother has said she thinks it’s suspicious and more than negligence but then stonewalled me and said she wouldn’t enter into discussions until my sister’s house had settled and money disbursed as that is her priority (my Mum & I are only beneficiaries). This is true to form for my Mother but I was upset that and then shut down the conversation. My Mother hasn’t read the report so it was strange for her to have this view.
I recently spoke to a Journalist who went quiet and blanked me when I asked if she’d talk to the hospital. When I asked if it was a police matter she gave me a vague answer saying she hadn’t had time to consider this but it did occur to her.
I note my sisters diazepam (cause for concern flagged in report) was left unchanged at hospital 1 & 2 despite other medications being changed 5 times.
I think what bothering me is the conflicting statements in the report and everyone stonewalling.

I think the diazepam is a read herring and I think the report conflicts because they weren’t ready to tell me what has happened but had to issue a report.

I also received weird texts from a random in the weeks before my sisters death from someone claiming we’d met. They sent me a photo of someone that wasn’t me and claimed that it was me and we’d met at the pool. At the end of the exchange they said they knew my sister and named two places she’d worked. When I showed the photo of this person to my sister she didn’t recognise her.
The above weird texter is one of of many weird contacts. My Dad died suspiciously close to a very large fraud against him that I tried to get a solicitor over. I was told recently that those involved in the fraud had police and government contexts and it’s all very dirty and that anyone who goes near it is shut down. This has been my experience as I tried for years to get answers and here I am.
I think it’s very very unlikely my sister was killed but after the diabolical push back I received regarding my Dad (I’m still not allowed to view his coronial file years later or get answers) and have been blocked from court cases and other info. I have been intimidated etc and so forth and approached over 140 lawyers and coincidentally none can help me. I think maybe anything is possible.

OP posts:
Namechangetry · 15/03/2025 08:18

Ok so now you don't think your father was killed you think he was defrauded? And the government have gone to extraordinary lengths to cover that up, involving coroners, your 'data being target and intercepted' police, journalists, over 140 lawyers all bought off? Frankly, why would they bother, for £1.9 million AUSD? They'd have spent more on a cover up than that. As PP said, incompetence, not malice.

The responses on here on this forum almost feel like they’re contrived. You think women in an internet forum based on in the other side of the world are all also in on the conspiracy? Can you see how that sounds from the outside?

The point of this post was never to claim she was harmed - the literal title of the thread you made is 'wonder if she was murdered or harmed deliberately'.

Can you not see how this all looks, from outside? The way you are thinking about what's happened?

You lost two members of your family unexpectedly, which is an awful thing to happen. And because of the nature of unexpected deaths, everything isn't cut and dried and not all loose ends are tied and there is some stuff that'll never be clear or explainable. That's what happens with unexpected deaths, life isn't like on TV where a detective or whoever makes it all make sense and everything can be explained. It's messy, and the messiness doesn't indicate a global decades long conspiracy, it just indicates humanness.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 15/03/2025 08:08

Freemasonic involvement? Perhaps your dad had links, and they turned on him. Ive read a few interesting books. The brotherhood goes very deep and is very dark. Also extremely dangerous.

Why do you think your sister was bumped off? So that his inheritance line would be wiped?

I don't don't believe you but you're on a mainly middle class English forum in which posters tend to think in very black and white terms. I've met people with stories like you and I did take on board their claims.

This might sound crazy as mumsnet is mainly an atheistic forum but you need God, as he is the only one who knows the whole truth.

Regretsmorethanafew · 15/03/2025 08:00

You show every hallmark of paranoid schizophrenia. You need immediate help.

OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 15/03/2025 07:54

I'm sorry to say this but your most recent post makes this sound even more like some kind of film script. You've not given a single thing to substantiate any of the claims you have made there. Perhaps if you could give something of substance rather than theory, people might be able to see where you are making all these connections.

EmmaMaria · 15/03/2025 07:35

The responses on here on this forum almost feel like they’re contrived.

So you think that anonymous posters on here are part of the conspiracy that killed your father and your sister?

I'm sorry, but you need some serious help with your mental state. When hundreds of organisations and people including the police, lawyers, politicians and journalists are failing to take your claims any further, then there is really only one conclusion to draw - there is nothing to take any further. You are only harming yourself by continuing this drama, and you need to get on with your life and stop letting conspiracies overwhelm you.

Original poster
Lavenderfarmcottage · 15/03/2025 05:58

The 140 lawyers I’ve approached over a 5 year period regarding my Dad. That’s around 1 a week or more in group emails. Many of those solicitors didn’t respond at all to my legal summary. The rest said they were at capacity or that it was too complex for the firm. I suspect that this isn’t a coincidence. One solicitor I saw in person said she didn’t get the attachments. When I went to a Journalist in person she said she didn’t read my file delivered despite having it for a week and was pains to stress this.

The issue with my Dad is that a few weeks before he died it appears he loaned 1.9 million dollars to a convicted thief. However a few years ago I worked out that I don’t think he ever loaned this money. I think his settlement agent has taken it out of a settlement account weeks before he died -
possibly. I think this because there are transactions suggesting he was due to purchase a property before he died. This property hasn’t eventuated and the settlement agent was in cahoots with the convicted thief.

I went to the police and other government agencies and was shut down and told I didn’t have enough evidence. I was threatened by a prosecutor to leave it alone even though the money was legallg meant for my sister who was very unwell and my family and I. We were also unnecessarily dragged through legal wrangling.

I was intimidated by police who said I was deluded and imagining the whole thing. I have bank statements supporting my concerns but nobody will investigate or inform me that they are. The coroner said there isn’t enough information. I’ve received odd responses from politicians that are identical saying that it’s a legal issue but as if they don’t understand.

I have gone to other journalists who ignore me after saying they’ll look into it.

I have applied to see my Dad’s coronial file and been denied and told no inquest will be held and so forth.

I Have applied under FOI for documents pertaining to the alleged fraud as there was an investigation into these people and the settlement agent wasn’t prosecuted. I’ve been denied the documents and told to appeal it to the Information FOI agency and have been repeatedly ignored for 2 years.

I’ve spoken to someone saying they are involved who told me that there are links with government and many people were stolen from and never got their money back, that most people gave up. I was also told that police fraud raided the settlement agents office and he took deposits from many people but was never prosecuted.

The information that I do have suggests it’s unlikely neither police and our securities regulator didn’t have strong suspicions or even evidence of a fraud against my Dad weeks before he died or around his death, and have done nothing or kept me in the dark.

I do think it’s possible with new laws that my data has been targeted or intercepted and that’s why I can’t get a lawyer. I was threatened and intimidated I would get nowhere. While I find this extraordinary I think that everything about this has been oppressive. The responses on here on this forum almost feel like they’re contrived.

On the issue of my sister I don’t necessarily think it’s a hit or something from a Netflix movie. What I do think is that anything is possible and that I’m being oppressed and I don’t think the idea I find a hobby and forget my two relatives have died without answers is the part of this that’s insane. Also that I am attacked as crazy and told to be quiet.

The poster who said I was delusional and that this delusion serves me is wrong. I feel responsible and sick at the idea my sister was harmed. The point of this post was never to claim she was harmed and the fact that posters have tried to make me out to be set in stone about this, concerns me. I’m clearly wanting to discuss why this all seems to patchy and weird.

Another poster said that it’s normal for notes and recollections to vary. The photos are from the hospital report. The fact they don’t take issue in the report with the statements and notes conflicting, is concerning. The point of the report isn’t just to present conflicting facts but analyse and examine if notes are correct and if not why not. Simply relating inconsistencies to family in a report and glazing over this, is a big deal.

OP posts:
Coffee62 · 15/03/2025 01:06

I’m a mental health nurse and from reading your attached photos I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. From your posts I cannot understand how she has passed away, from your statement of events. I would certainly be querying further as to how this could have happened.

Piedpiper1 · 15/03/2025 00:34

Dear OP, I’m sorry for your loss 🌷

I haven’t come here to judge nor have others, We don’t know the full details but you must appreciate how the accusations come across, in terms of blame/conspiracy etc.

I think firstly you need look after yourself, please seek any help you can, bereavement counselling, GP etc.

I think the accusations are hindering you. Instead of looking at Solicitors, if you truly believe there is a mitigating factor then you need to look closer to home & find a reason as to how/why so many authorities would cover this up. A private investigator? This would give some evidence to you

I don’t think now is the right time, You are hurting deeply.

Take some me time to compose, concentrate on you, then try to investigate logically your concerns xx

4timesthefun · 14/03/2025 20:56

I’ve also had a parent and sibling die, not at the same age, but with the same cause of death. I get it could do funny things to your mind. There was an inquest into my siblings death, which was an unsatisfactory process. The saying about not chalking up to malice what you can attribute to incompetence seemed true.
The note you posted seems pretty clear in terms of cause of death. If there was a coverup, it would likely be around an act of negligence in not adhering to the frequency of checks she needed, which may have identified the position she was in sooner. I also find it quite unusual that you have jumped to her being murdered, and it being such a matter of national security that almost whole local profession groups have been paid off to silence the situation… to protect some nurse or patient that was hired to murder her. I mean there would need to be a very significant motive to warrant the coverup, if it was ‘just’ a fellow patient, there wouldn’t be any coverup required.

I’d be curious as to why your first suspicion wouldn’t be that the hospital is covering up negligence and a potential self-harm or suicide situation. I’m obviously not saying that’s the case, the records pretty clearly support an accidental death. To be really blunt, if you don’t have issues with paranoia and delusional beliefs, you are probably clinging to a theory about a hired hit and national coverup to avoid dealing with your grief and loss. This would give you energy and a purpose, that allows you to avoid your feelings, in a way that considering other forms of negligence wouldn’t, or accepting her death as accidental.

As mean as it seems, it would realistically be best if we all stopped engaging on the topic and just encouraged processing your grief and getting some specialised grief therapy. I really hope you can, OP.

KrisAkabusi · 14/03/2025 20:42

ChillWith · 14/03/2025 20:14

I hear you, OP, and I'm really sorry for the loss of your sister and your father.

Where your sister's death is concerned, you need to speak to a medical negligence solicitor. They should offer you 30/40 mins of their time free to determine if there is a case where her death is concerned. In that meeting, you want to limit facts to your sister to ensure you have their full attention.

She's spoken to 140 solicitors already. Are you really suggesting she goes to another one?!

Dellspoem · 14/03/2025 20:39

Hi OP. Sorry you are going through this.
What is the cause of death on the death certificate?
You do need a medical professional to read through the report and explain the diazepam and other medication situation.
Make a clear note of all the contradictions in the report.
In the UK there is a patient liaison and advice service attached to every hospital - what is the equivalent of this where you are?
If the medical professional you go to says there is nothing wrong you must consider that you are seeing something that is not there.

OP you must also consider the possibility that your sister unfortunately passed away because she was sedated, had sleep apnoea, and that nothing sinister happened.

ChillWith · 14/03/2025 20:14

I hear you, OP, and I'm really sorry for the loss of your sister and your father.

Where your sister's death is concerned, you need to speak to a medical negligence solicitor. They should offer you 30/40 mins of their time free to determine if there is a case where her death is concerned. In that meeting, you want to limit facts to your sister to ensure you have their full attention.

CarWatcher · 14/03/2025 20:12

As someone else has said the sleeping/settled is quite probably two nurses checking and recording the same observations in different ways.

There’s an inconsistency around timings but not huge - this could be an administrative error on the report. This wouldn’t be ideal, but not unheard of or terribly unusual. There could have been a lack of 15 minute checks between 10.30 and 11.15 by overworked staff. Again, it shouldn't do but it happens. It could just be poorly worded. Is there a Stage 1 and was there an hour between Stage 1 that could explain that comment ?

My head goes to better recording and administrative improvements required rather than the sinister.

OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 14/03/2025 20:07

KrisAkabusi · 14/03/2025 19:41

Hospitals make mistakes. Occasionally criminal. Cover ups can happen. But you have spoken to 140 lawyers. That in itself is a sign of obsessive behaviour. Those 140 independent, unemotional, unbiased individuals have all told you that there's nothing in it. Lawyers are famous for not turning down money. For none of them to think there's s case, there must really be nothing in it.

The bigger question is why would the hospital, The coroner, The police, A journalist, The government and 140 lawyers all want OPs sister gone then cover this all up? Just for an average every day person?

OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 14/03/2025 19:59

Lavenderfarmcottage · 14/03/2025 19:04

This explains what happened the morning of her death. It states the final medication had minimal effect yet all of the observations say ‘settled’ or ‘sleeping’.

Show quote history

Without knowing what the medication was or what effect it was supposed to have, this lacks meaningful context.

Namechangetry · 14/03/2025 19:49

The situation is bizarre and I can’t make sense of the coincidence of two immediate family members dying in their 40’s and both deaths I’ve been given odd information or a lack of info.

But coincidences do happen OP. And crazy stuff does happen. People do die in their 40s, in weird unclear ways. Life is messy.

My relative died in circumstances which you wouldn't think would even cause serious injury, let alone death. The police made mistakes and we will never have any explanation as to why they died, logically they shouldn't have. But they did. The difference is, I don't think anyone is oppressing me or gaslighting me about it. That's what people are reacting to in your posts.

LauderSyme · 14/03/2025 19:48

I am sorry all this has happened to you and your family. Condolences for your loss 💐

In my experience of professional explanations of deaths that could have been avoided, there is obfuscation, blame-shifting and metaphorical shrugging of shoulders.

On two occasions I have been involved in deciding whether to pursue further official explanations and accountability. Both times I voted no to preserve my own sanity.

KrisAkabusi · 14/03/2025 19:41

Hospitals make mistakes. Occasionally criminal. Cover ups can happen. But you have spoken to 140 lawyers. That in itself is a sign of obsessive behaviour. Those 140 independent, unemotional, unbiased individuals have all told you that there's nothing in it. Lawyers are famous for not turning down money. For none of them to think there's s case, there must really be nothing in it.

HowDoYouSolveAProblemLikeMyRear · 14/03/2025 19:29

Maybe a dual approach might help: on the one hand, I can see you need to pursue this further, not least for your own peace of mind, and on the other hand, if this dominates your life for years to come, your own life may be ruined, which I'm sure your father and sister wouldn't want.

Can you dedicate an evening a week to trying to get to the bottom of these tragic events, but avoid spending time on it for the rest of each week?

And as for methods, it sounds like you might not get anywhere with solicitors. Maybe try your MP? And I wonder if a GP might be able to explain some of the oddities in your sister's medical records.

Best of luck. And I'm so sorry for your loss.

Original poster
Lavenderfarmcottage · 14/03/2025 19:17

KrisAkabusi · 14/03/2025 18:38

I am genuinely taken aback by the responses, the apathy and the bombardment of criticisms as to why I must be crazy and need mental health help for wondering this or considering it. My post is clear that other people have considered something suspicious too.

I'm sorry you don't think people are trying to help. But you have told us that you believe that
The hospital
The coroner
The police
A journalist
The government and
140 lawyers that you spoke to

Are all somehow involved in a conspiracy to keep the truth from you. I've already explained just how unlikely this is. Your insistence that it's true is why people are worried for your mental health. It really is in your best interests that you see a professional about this.

Yes that is exactly 100% what I am saying. The coroner is under the justice department as are the police and the hospital are all within state government. Yes, I don’t know if you can hear me over there in your suburban beige bubble but yes, please brace yourself for the shock of a lifetime…. I am indeed claiming a crazy, crazy, whack job conspiracy theory that shock, horror, government departments are oppressing me. Either because there is a criminal component or for legal reasons.

No, I don’t think homicide or manslaughter in a prison or hospital or any facility is a conspiracy theory, I think it’s just unusual. I also think it’s a shocking thought to process which is why I came on here and found a whole bunch of women ready to stigmatise me for being crazy and poke holes.

To the other poster saying you’re so lost. I find it completely odd you did a search on me so soon. I also find it odd that many of these responses remind me so much of the government departments I’ve been shut down by - gaslighting, undermining, oppressing.

You’re lost because you’re reading two threads on different deaths - who would have thought that would be confusing & involve different family members. My Dad remarried. The situation is bizarre and I can’t make sense of the coincidence of two immediate family members dying in their 40’s and both deaths I’ve been given odd information or a lack of info.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lavenderfarmcottage · 14/03/2025 19:09

In this section of the report it says ‘one hour later she was assessed as mildly aroused’. However all the observations state that she was settled or sleeping during this time period.

To wonder if sister murdered or harmed deliberately ?
OP posts:
Original poster
Lavenderfarmcottage · 14/03/2025 19:04

SullysBabyMama · 14/03/2025 18:59

Is the “conflicting” information that she was settled, and also asleep? If so that isn’t conflicting.

I wrote hospital notes as part of my job. I am encouraged to write “settled” as I can’t ever be certain someone is sleeping and not just laying with their eyes closed or deceased at a glance.

It’s also possible she was napping on and off all morning, meaning she would be settled and sleeping.

Did you mean to type “unsettled”??

This explains what happened the morning of her death. It states the final medication had minimal effect yet all of the observations say ‘settled’ or ‘sleeping’.

To wonder if sister murdered or harmed deliberately ?
OP posts:
SullysBabyMama · 14/03/2025 18:59

Is the “conflicting” information that she was settled, and also asleep? If so that isn’t conflicting.

I wrote hospital notes as part of my job. I am encouraged to write “settled” as I can’t ever be certain someone is sleeping and not just laying with their eyes closed or deceased at a glance.

It’s also possible she was napping on and off all morning, meaning she would be settled and sleeping.

Did you mean to type “unsettled”??

KrisAkabusi · 14/03/2025 18:38

I am genuinely taken aback by the responses, the apathy and the bombardment of criticisms as to why I must be crazy and need mental health help for wondering this or considering it. My post is clear that other people have considered something suspicious too.

I'm sorry you don't think people are trying to help. But you have told us that you believe that
The hospital
The coroner
The police
A journalist
The government and
140 lawyers that you spoke to

Are all somehow involved in a conspiracy to keep the truth from you. I've already explained just how unlikely this is. Your insistence that it's true is why people are worried for your mental health. It really is in your best interests that you see a professional about this.

justasking111 · 14/03/2025 18:18

Lavenderfarmcottage · 14/03/2025 18:02

I find these responses utterly bizarre. One poster even asked if my Sister was schizophrenic and implied I might be too, for thinking she was deliberately harmed. At least that was an honest response about the stigma and judgment which seems fairly evident from these posts.

It would be unusual if my sister was harmed in a hospital but given the conflicting information, and other people’s suspicions, it’s not impossible or crazy I’ve considered this or care about it a few months after death. What is crazy is the expectation that I wouldn’t want to discuss those concerns for less than 120 pounds an hour (or equivalent where I live.)

I am genuinely taken aback by the responses, the apathy and the bombardment of criticisms as to why I must be crazy and need mental health help for wondering this or considering it. My post is clear that other people have considered something suspicious too.

Even if I did have mental illness, I’d still have the right to be enquiring and upset and consider all possibilities. Thinking 3 dimmensionaly isn’t legal or warrant a diagnosis.

Your last thread was bizarre. But slightly different. Originally it was your step mom who didn't want to know. This time your birth mom.

I really can't keep up.