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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if sister murdered or harmed deliberately ?

116 replies

Lavenderfarmcottage · 13/03/2025 15:48

My sister died aged 40 last year during a mental health ward admission/stay for mental health episode. I am not in the UK but an English speaking country with a health system similar.
I was told the hospital report into death would be thorough. Directors said it was likely the diazepam which shouldn’t have been prescribed with suspected sleep apnoea.
Recently spoke to a Journalist and read the report with fresh eyes. On the morning of her death there are conflicting statements about whether she was settled or sleeping. I have attached a photo. This report was signed by 5 executives/ directors at hospital get the report contradicts itself.
I have contacted the coroner and been igbored and the hospital. My Mother has said she thinks it’s suspicious and more than negligence but then stonewalled me and said she wouldn’t enter into discussions until my sister’s house had settled and money disbursed as that is her priority (my Mum & I are only beneficiaries). This is true to form for my Mother but I was upset that and then shut down the conversation. My Mother hasn’t read the report so it was strange for her to have this view.
I recently spoke to a Journalist who went quiet and blanked me when I asked if she’d talk to the hospital. When I asked if it was a police matter she gave me a vague answer saying she hadn’t had time to consider this but it did occur to her.
I note my sisters diazepam (cause for concern flagged in report) was left unchanged at hospital 1 & 2 despite other medications being changed 5 times.
I think what bothering me is the conflicting statements in the report and everyone stonewalling.

I think the diazepam is a read herring and I think the report conflicts because they weren’t ready to tell me what has happened but had to issue a report.

I also received weird texts from a random in the weeks before my sisters death from someone claiming we’d met. They sent me a photo of someone that wasn’t me and claimed that it was me and we’d met at the pool. At the end of the exchange they said they knew my sister and named two places she’d worked. When I showed the photo of this person to my sister she didn’t recognise her.
The above weird texter is one of of many weird contacts. My Dad died suspiciously close to a very large fraud against him that I tried to get a solicitor over. I was told recently that those involved in the fraud had police and government contexts and it’s all very dirty and that anyone who goes near it is shut down. This has been my experience as I tried for years to get answers and here I am.
I think it’s very very unlikely my sister was killed but after the diabolical push back I received regarding my Dad (I’m still not allowed to view his coronial file years later or get answers) and have been blocked from court cases and other info. I have been intimidated etc and so forth and approached over 140 lawyers and coincidentally none can help me. I think maybe anything is possible.

OP posts:
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Ilovecakey · 16/03/2025 14:22

BoundaryGirl3939 · 15/03/2025 21:53

This is an online pdf of one popular book -
www.slideshare.net/slideshow/the-brotherhood-knight-stephenpdf/263591065

I think this book is only scratching the surface. I've read others but they mostly dealt with Freemasonry in Ireland which would not interest you.

Thank you

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 16/03/2025 12:40

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 07:43

How do you know it's paranoia? You don't know the full facts, do you?

I suggest you read the OP's posts and reflect on them.
It's clear that she isn't mentally well.

Lavenderfarmcottage · 16/03/2025 11:47

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Thankyou. I agree 100% with all your comments and will leave the thread. This means a lot.

OP posts:
AusMumhere · 16/03/2025 09:59

LizzieW1969 · 16/03/2025 09:54

I think there might be something to dig up, certainly incompetence where her DSis’s death is concerned. But that’s a long way from a mass conspiracy, which the OP is talking about.

Regardless, I don’t think the OP is in a good place mentally and I agree that she should seek mental health support. Hardly surprising after what she’s been through. Once she’s in a better place mentally, she’ll be in a better place to seek any answers that she still feels she needs.

Either way, she won’t get the answers she’s looking for on an AIBU thread.

Well said

LizzieW1969 · 16/03/2025 09:54

I think there might be something to dig up, certainly incompetence where her DSis’s death is concerned. But that’s a long way from a mass conspiracy, which the OP is talking about.

Regardless, I don’t think the OP is in a good place mentally and I agree that she should seek mental health support. Hardly surprising after what she’s been through. Once she’s in a better place mentally, she’ll be in a better place to seek any answers that she still feels she needs.

Either way, she won’t get the answers she’s looking for on an AIBU thread.

AusMumhere · 16/03/2025 09:08

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 09:06

Oh, I thought your posts were based on genuine concern. Not veiled snideness. My initial gut feeling was right.Op beware. Best wishes.

No veiled snideness. Just a statement of fact.
I with the OP some peace.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 09:06

AusMumhere · 16/03/2025 08:59

How do you know it hasn't? Very presumptuous of you

Oh, I thought your posts were based on genuine concern. Not veiled snideness. My initial gut feeling was right.Op beware. Best wishes.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 09:05

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AusMumhere · 16/03/2025 09:01

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 08:58

I do hope that something as tragic ad traumatising doesn't come knocking on your door AusMum.

As I said, I have utmost empathy.
And the ability to recognise when someone is struggling. Do you?

AusMumhere · 16/03/2025 08:59

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 08:58

I do hope that something as tragic ad traumatising doesn't come knocking on your door AusMum.

How do you know it hasn't? Very presumptuous of you

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 08:58

AusMumhere · 16/03/2025 08:53

I have utmost empathy for OP. Shes clearly struggling. Which is why I think you shouldn't be feeding her paranoia.

I do hope that something as tragic ad traumatising doesn't come knocking on your door AusMum.

AusMumhere · 16/03/2025 08:53

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I have utmost empathy for OP. Shes clearly struggling. Which is why I think you shouldn't be feeding her paranoia.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 08:50

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AusMumhere · 16/03/2025 08:31

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 08:24

Who gave you the authority to diagnose someone?

It really ia obvious

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 08:24

Regretsmorethanafew · 16/03/2025 08:05

It's patently obvious.

Who gave you the authority to diagnose someone?

AusMumhere · 16/03/2025 08:20

Regretsmorethanafew · 16/03/2025 08:05

It's patently obvious.

It is

Regretsmorethanafew · 16/03/2025 08:05

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 07:43

How do you know it's paranoia? You don't know the full facts, do you?

It's patently obvious.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 07:43

How do you know it's paranoia? You don't know the full facts, do you?

AusMumhere · 16/03/2025 07:33

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 07:31

So what do you suggest? Bar telling the OP she is unwell and needs to get medical help.

Not fuelling her paranoia, for a start

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 07:31

AusMumhere · 16/03/2025 07:28

Not helpful to the OP at all

So what do you suggest? Bar telling the OP she is unwell and needs to get medical help.

AusMumhere · 16/03/2025 07:28

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 07:11

But I don't think you'll get the truth as if something sinister happened, they will protect each other (as has happened in the past).

Not helpful to the OP at all

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 07:11

But I don't think you'll get the truth as if something sinister happened, they will protect each other (as has happened in the past).

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 07:10

I also think that mental institutions are places in which vulnerable people can be abused by bad people. Obviously there are good people everywhere but they are prey for others (just like foster homes, industrial schools in times gone by etc).

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2025 07:06

Op I think you're being bullied on this thread too, and people here are secretly enjoying insulting you and calling you crazy.

Please take care of yourself. You will be stonewalled and gaslit. I have followed a number of murder cases in Ireland whereby the families were just not happy with the investigation and outcome. Media took the side of police/courts (all in cahoots) and families didn't have a voice. When people did take time to independently listen to the families, one would find that facts simply didn't add up and major elements of story were being hidden by authorities (for whatever reason).
It can get nasty if you do investigate or get close to the truth.I'm not sure authorities will cave to your questions as these orders/decisions come from the top down. I don't know what else to say.

Lavenderfarmcottage · 16/03/2025 03:25

Namechangetry · 15/03/2025 16:47

You're really fucking offensive.

I shared a very painful loss to try to help you , and you in return choose to insult me.

You're not special. Your loss isn't special. No one has instigated a global decades long conspiracy against you, because it wouldn't be worth the bother. Get help with your mental health or live the rest of your life in paranoia, alienating people who try to help you, your choice.

@Namechangetry I’m really sorry and my response was unacceptable. I am very sorry for your loss. I think letting go of answers where there are none to be had is wise and what your relative would want. I meant and should have said, that the responses and handling isn’t fair on you and it shouldn’t be that way.

I will eventually have to accept the same fate and outcome and that is extremely frustrating.

I don’t think I am organically deluded or paranoid. I think that the situation/s are so extraordinary and the responses from agencies so bizarre and evasive and stonewalling that it has made unable to trust in anything.

I don’t think the basic facts of this issue are being understood eg: that the lawyers aren’t over my Sister and a broader issue. This is basically just a gang bang response and bullying to convince myself I’m deluded and forget everything.

i will point out that it seems you did get answers - you were able to see that the investigation was not sufficient or why people responded evasively. It was beyond your control and the resources of one person - mentally and emotionally . I am even more in the dark than that.

I wish you the best and I am very sorry for responding in a hurtful way and out of frustration.

I am not mentally coping at the moment but I’m not crazy and I don’t think I am deluded in isolation or organically. I think that the situation is extraordinary and beyond something where answers can’t be found. I am even more oppressed than that. Like you I will probably have to accept that and move on but that’s a hard thing to do 6 months later and I came on here for support & validation of how bizarre the situation is and lacking in answers.

i am so very sorry for your loss and my very cruel response xoxox

OP posts: