Text cheating at start of relationship

How did you discover the text messages?

Sounds like your partners been caught out and using "family situation" as an excuse.

Whats concerning is if another situation arises where he's stressed out... will he do the same with a friend/ colleague?

I wouldn't trust him and he will continually use excuses for his behaviour.

I think he was testing the water with your sibling. If your sibling had entertained it I wonder how far he would have been willing to go. Seems like he enjoys the drama of it all.

Get rid!

I would literally never speak to them again. S/he tried it on with your sibling. YUCK. Don’t do this and come crying a year or ten down the line when it happens again.

Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't share your values about decent behaviour. He was chatting up your sister!! And she's a piece of work as well. Why don't you tell them to start dating, they deserve each other !

Op, I don't intend to be patronising etc. here but I'm now wondering how long you've been spilt from your kids' Dad and if you've had any significant relationships since that. ..... because I've noticed a tendency among divorced/separated women to go utterly off the deep end in their first significant relationship after a divorce or separation.

It's as if this relationship has to vindicate them; they are not the problem if this man loves them and this relationship works out; their ex is the problem.

(No, your ex could be the problem regardless of how your subsequent relationships go).

If this relationship is "it" and works out, it'll make up for the failure of their relationship with their kids' They'll get their happy ending.

It has to work out, it has to replace/overwrite the failed one.

Etc. etc.

It's possible you've fallen into that trap.

Been with my partner 6 months. They've always been great, respectful, gentle, kind, loving.

There's no 'always', you've only been seeing each other for 6 months, and for over a month of those 6 months he has been messaging your sibling.

You speak in a lot of absolutes, 'always' 'never' etc such as 'I never saw this coming'. You really don't know him well enough by this point to be able to say any of that with confidence. He has been extremely disrespectful to you within the honeymoon period. It needs to be over, the trust is gone.

Sorry, but you can't "truly care" about children you haven't even met.

He's the king of hyperbole.

Everything is so dramatic and earnest.

Yet Mr. Earnest was schmoozing and being inappropriate to your sister a month into your relationship.

When someone's actions don't really match their words & projection of themselves .......

Your SIBLING??? I'd be fuming with both of them tbh, and cutting them both off. Only you know if you can move past it, but it would be a deal breaker for me, without hesitation or doubt

Look at how many times he said "I" as opposed to "you." It's all about him and his precious feelings. Look at how he manipulates you by reminding you of the good things he's done, and all he can come up with is a hug and a bit of comfort at that. Does he want applause for doing the bare minimum?
He's inadvertently giving you a roadmap to discover who he really is.

Yep. He's saying that when he's stressed, this is how he will behave and he will justify it based on being stressed. What a turd.

This. With bells on.

Oh good grief. That's a hard no for me. Gross!

I asked why they did it. They said they were just really stupid, that they were going through a tough family situation (which is true) and made a stupid choice.

I don't think it was "stupid".

He's calling it stupid now and it seems stupid to him now (now that he's been caught out) buI I'd really doubt he did it out of "stupidity". He clearly thought he'd be flirty & suggestive to your sister and see how it went. There were motivations/intentions behind that. Maybe he sees those motivations (ego, gratification at the very least).as stupid now, but they were worth going after to him back then. Even though he was already supposed to be in an exclusive relationship with you, and this was your sibling.

I read that being OP’s children

Op, from your words and his - it's obvious that both of you have gotten into this "love of my life, soul mate, together forever" narrative ...... It's been six months, you were in the honeymoon period. That sort of thing (and there's no one soul mate or love of your life) is only proven over a long time.

This narrative is not helping you.

@Pandolly They said they'd spend their life proving that they can be trusted and will fix it?!???

No mate. They will WASTE your life with their duplicitous bullshit, making you doubt everything. Ask me how I know .. Many years later I've finally extracted myself from the bullshit, but lord almighty I wish I'd ended it back then, at the stage you're at now.

Heed these wise women's words on this thread and put yourself first by ending it.

All my feelings and how I feel about you have always been true and genuine..

There are cheaters & abusers who swear blind, crying, that they love their partner.

And maybe they do.

As much and in the manner that they can love someone.

But the love of a cheater/abuser/whatever is not really worth having. Because they can cheat on someone or abuse someone while "loving" them.

So he's saying he has always had genuine feelings for you ..... Yet while he had these feelings, he was flirting with and making sexual innuendoes to your sibling behind your back; so we can conclude that his feelings aren't all that valuable (as the recipient).

(Since he does shit that no decent person would do, while feeling them)

Also people who say "the God's honest truth" remind me of people who say "I swear to God/I swear on the lives of my . ." ...... there's no need for such hyperbole if you're actually honest.

I am still that person who truly cares about (my children)

He's got children?

What happened with the mother of the children? Do you think you got the full/true story of how that broke down?

I was thinking this was some young, relatively inexperienced man who was carried away with fancying the sister of his new gf and not used to being in relationships etc. ....but he's a grown adult father with an ex wife/partner (?)

That makes it even worse in my eyes.

I am still that person who gave you comfort when you were down, I am still that person who gave you a hug when you needed it

More emotional blackmail

Jesus 🤮
Self pitying manipulative twaddle.
He’s still the person who tried to bed your sister.

Oh come on. Having a tough time at home does not translate into make a pass at your girlfriend's sibling for heaven's sake.

Dump. You don’t know someone after 6 months, as this proves.