My child's watching porn

my dc had parental controls until 18, you just need to install them, if he circumvents them, remove the devices but you need to explain why you are doing this, young people respond better to rules if they make sense to them

You can set up parental controls on your broadband to ban any porn - but he can easily bypass that by using mobile data - you could use Family Link to add another layer of control to.
But I agree with others though - this is a case where you should be removing his devices altogether. Yes you will be unpopular but that's being a parent to a teen (sorry)

He could still get round this by using a friends phone - so you still need to talk to him that this is not appropriate content!!

No unsupervised tech. He's only 13. Parent him.

Exactly Jesus Christ. Some people shouldn’t be parents.

Sorry, OP, not sure what your dilemma is. You either choose to parent your 13 yr old or not.

Wtf are you doing giving the devices back?! I can't believe how moronic that is

Wtf are you doing giving the devices back?! I can't believe how moronic that is

Please be an actual parent OP

He doesn't need more than a brick phone
No laptop
No tablet
No internet unless he's being supervised by an adult

Take some bloody responsibility for your child, who sounds like he's already addicted to porn

It sounds like he is already actively addicted. He needs to see a therapist weekly for intensive support. Sadly, it isn't uncommon in boys of that age these days.

In addition to therapeutic intervention, he should not have access to the Internet. If he needs a phone, give him an old Nokia. If he needs to use the Internet for school, set up a 'family' computer in the living room—or better yet, get him to go to the local public library and use their computers.

He needs to understand how harmful his behaviour is, how it contributes to violence against women, and how his addiction is teaching him to be a misogynist. Teenage boys with these types of addictions often go on to assault (or worse) teenage (and younger) girls. It isn't normal, shouldn't be normalised, and is dangerous.

Newsflash. Children don't need phones.

Remember our childhoods? No phones. And we all survived.

Hi OP - have you read ‘anxious generation’ by David Haight - it offers really solid evidence based thoughts on the damage that internet access / porn does to young brains.

There is no reason for your son to need unsupervised tech access - have a laptop that can be used in family space for school work where someone else can see the screen. Beyond that he has shown himself unable to manage (understandably - he’s very young) the hook that porn is for young men

i’m afraid this is a situation in which you need to accept that he’ll be angry and upset about losing his tech - but the damage that can be done by not removing it is far greater and more long term than any big feelings he might direct at you. It’s your job to make yourself unpopular with him here and set the firm boundaries to keep him safe that he’s not able to set for himself.

I’d also want to make sure he isn’t able to watch it on someone else’s phone whilst at school or out. What’s the phone policy at his school?

Brick phone, no tablet, laptop with strict controls on it and which doesn't leave communal areas for homework/normal browsing but v time limited. Yes they can see stuff on other people's phones etc at school if that way inclined, but I would be making damn sure I wasn't allowing it on my watch and severely restricting his access for his own good.

Just a thought, is there a chance he is actually trying to find or work something out (that he's heard of or wondering about) that he feels he can't ask his parents about? Maybe not, but maybe worth considering, 13 is a very awkward age.

Agree with everyone else. Take the responsibility a 13 year old doesn't and shouldn't have and remove everything.
You've been too gentle in trying to negotiate with him.

Farking hell. Child watching porn repeatedly but don't want to remove tech. Abandon hope all ye who enter here.

What they all said

Parent

This!!!! Jesus OP if your 13 year old can't have tech without watching porn then he doesn't get the tech. Get rid of it, he doesn't get to use any.

No devices.

Be a parent. Remove all tech. Talking/reasoning/negotiating has not and will not work so it’s time to step up.

Parental controls via wifi so he can’t unlock them.
Only allowed access to devices when sitting with an adult.

Strip it right back, brick phone so he can make calls/text you if needed, but absolutely nothing beyond that.

I’m baffled you haven’t done this already if your child at 13 has been watching porn multiple times?

There’d be no devices. Tough shit. He can use a Nokia if he needs a phone and the family computer for homework if needs be.