To think that people who say “kids are a blessing” just don’t want to admit they regret it?

Kids are generally v boring to others. This is why I only share pix and talk about my kids to my mum and sister. For other people, I talk about my kids but only for less than a minute. No one is that interested.

What's stranger is when people view their kids as their greatest achievement.
Your greatest achievement should be something you've personally done or experienced.
For example. I'm.proud of my business that I started that's doing well.
I'm proud that I made it to the top of Mount Everest.
I made a million pounds for charity.
Alot of people don't talk about anything they've done apart from children.

When I see pics of people's kids grandkids on FB. I think yes but what have you done.
Endless pics of family is boring.

So OP made one post and hasn't come back. I wonder if OP has children. Some people do regret having children, of course, but I think the majority don't. I've found it exhausting, difficult and relentless at times yet it has brought me so much happiness and joy. It's also brought me a sense of fulfilment. I absolutely do not regret it. It's the best thing I've ever done.

There was a film I remember watching years ago. Two people were at risk of death. One was an older grandmother lady. One a young 20 something man. Granny had a big family who loved her. Young man didn’t (yet). The granny was saved due to her being loved by others. Young man died. It never really bothered me when I was younger. On watching it now I can see the message that you’re worth more when others love you and you have a family. And honestly this message is shown time and time again.

Well that’s just silly, surely any reasonable person would save the YOUNG man as opposed to the OLD granny? Indeed, if I was the old granny I would want them to save the youngster who hadn’t lived their life yet.

No. Whenever I think or say that, I mean it 100%.

My kids ARE blessing. It took several miscarriages to get my two and I love them very much. I don’t regret ever having them even though I am now physically disabled due to pregnancy. If I had known I would be disabled before being pregnant, I might have stayed at only having one child, but I have never regretted having them. Sometimes wish I could have one more but dh got the snip

What an odd post 😜 children are children. And I would say yes they are a blessing. They are also just people who deserve respect.

Parenting is effin hard. No one would deny that. It’s extreme to regret children though.

So I am THAT person who saying my children are a blessing becasue that’s what I mean… they’ve blessed me with the feeling of pure love, confidence in myself, self-worth, acceptance of troubles and pure pride and happiness. I am a different person than I was before children but 100% better for it I am more tolerant and I more calm more gentle more loving so in that way they have blessed my life.

Why is it sad though, if that’s how they feel? It doesn’t affect you. Unless they’re saying they can’t see how anyone’s life has any point without children, which is a different thing.

So in a way I sort of agree with you. Or it’s more that I think it’s a bit of an eye roll when people make their children the only think in their lives and erode themselves in the process. Like their life was a complete meaningless waste of time until they were “blessed” with a child/children. I mean where does that end? Or our children’s life’s “without purpose/meaning” until they have children? It’s silly. Very silly.

You do know that when people say that children gave their life meaning, that they don’t actually mean that their life was a complete meaningless waste of time until they were “blessed” with a child.

I can only speak for myself, but since having children my perspective shifted in such a way that everything I had done before I had children became meaningless to me. I had a great life before I had children. I have no doubt I would have had a great life without children. But having children completely changed my outlook and focus on life.

I don’t understand what is silly about that?

And actually, even if a woman does feel like her life is just a complete meaningless waste of time until she has children, then why should anyone judge her for that? You don’t know what has happened along her path to make her feel such a way. We don’t all have the same experiences in life. We don’t all have the same abilities. No need to shame or degrade people for what they feel brings meaning into their lives. Everyone is different.

YABU. Absolutely my kids are my biggest blessing. Doesn’t mean I haven’t found various parts of parenting difficult and/or exhausting but I absolutely don’t regret it and would make the same decision again. In fact, I might have had another one!

Absolute nonsense, never once have I ever regretted having any of my children and the eldest is 20 and at Uni. Yes there has been hard times but thats the same with anything in life.

It’s not unexpected that people are coming here and saying that children are, in fact, a blessing despite the hard work and emotional ups and downs. Most people will be happy to have children. You can’t change biology

Depends on the kids. I have a blessing and a curse.

You could easily say the same of someone who finds their "purpose" is mostly wrapped up in their job or whatever.

I’ve never heard anyone say their life would be pointless if they couldn’t be a doctor or whatever. People do say it about motherhood, quite a lot.

It's not "sad" if they are happy though, is it? It's just a different experience/perspective.

You could easily say the same of someone who finds their "purpose" is mostly wrapped up in their job or whatever.

Different people will have different priorities and different aspects of life will have varying degrees of meaning/purpose for everyone.

I’m referring to a subsequent post I made about a personal experience I had. Not what anyone said on here. I was having risky surgery and a woman at work said it sounded awful and how terrible it was and asked if I had children. When I said no she said at least I wouldn’t leave any children motherless then started talking to someone else. Any sympathy/worry was gone instantly once she knew I didn’t have children. So she was only upset for potential fictional children initially, then didn’t care less when she discovered they didn’t exist.

It’s also not even just individual experiences of individual people saying things. It’s often only when you experience something yourself you notice a lot of underlying messages.

There was a film I remember watching years ago. Two people were at risk of death. One was an older grandmother lady. One a young 20 something man. Granny had a big family who loved her. Young man didn’t (yet). The granny was saved due to her being loved by others. Young man died. It never really bothered me when I was younger. On watching it now I can see the message that you’re worth more when others love you and you have a family. And honestly this message is shown time and time again.

I suspect those that truly regret having their children keep shtum about it and don't say anything of the sort.

Perhaps some struggling parents do try and do the positive outlook thing and repeat the blessing mantra, but I don't think they are regretters.

My life would absolutely not be meaningless or unfulfilled without my children. Lots of other things that give me meaning: work, travel, art, theatre. All of which I am doing more of, now the kids are grown.

My daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me and I would not want to be alive without her now - you are being totally unreasonable

I think it’s really sad to feel your life has no point unless you have children though.

I can't imagine anyone using the word 'blessing' unless they're in a church, but I have absolutely no regrets about my (now adult) child. He gave me a focus and my life a point. It was hard at times, you always worry about them and I wouldn't have wanted more kids - but he was the best decision I ever made.

Nobody implied that they said it would be terrible for the child to lose a mother so young not that it doesn't matter because the person doesn't have children.

I always knew I wanted children as well. I used to tell my mum how much I couldn’t wait to have kids when I was a kid myself. I couldn’t wait. Years of trying naturally, 3 miscarriages and 4 rounds of IVF later it hasn’t happened. And at my age it now won’t.

And then I get people like in the previous example I used up thread implying that my health issues would only be terrible if I was a mother. It isn’t really a big deal because I’m not.

It's not that black and white. Some people have kids and struggle, some people have kids and absolutely love it. Some don't have kids and enjoy their independence etc, some don't have kids and feel deeply sad about it. It's not black and white, it's a spectrum and we're all different. HTH.