To think punctuality is a sign of basic respect?

MIL is crap with time but it’s not like I can’t just dump her, I wouldn’t foster a friendship with someone like her. She doesn’t know but we have left her out of plans before because it’s not worth the stress. Legoland is a perfect example, for theme parks getting there early is better, it’s impossible for her.

Because being over an hour late is fucking rude, and not acceptable.
And I was not allowed access to "get a drink" as she had our tickets!

I guess you are late to meet people a lot and expect them to put up with it.

You need tickets to get in the door. Are you dumb?

So wait inside, get a drink, read Mumsnet. She shouldn't have left you waiting for 40 minutes but she's probably not expecting you to be unable to amuse yourself for that time. Standing around fuming is a pretty daft reaction. Why make life harder for yourself?

@XenoBitch - I'd ignore @MasterBeth I think she's bored and out be goady tonight

What a ridiculous assumption. I have a crazy busy life but am still punctual, not because I’m not busy but because I wouldn’t waste someone else’s time when I know how precious time is.

Funny how all these people (and I know plenty of them!) who just “can’t manage their time” never miss a fucking plane. They clearly can manage their time when it matters to them 🙄

You are really bitchy. The problem was her punctuality. How dare you blame someone’s anxiety that turned up on time.

No, I am not going to let you make it out be my issue and my fault. She was super late, and had our tickets.

Are you for real? Chill and enjoy the 40 mins waiting in the cold because I know I will have a nice time when she eventually gets here?

I actually don’t wait on her anymore. I don’t see her anymore. I gave her a good run of waiting but the last time was 1.5 hours late for a concert because she lost track of time. I went home. Have not seen her since.

Ah, so the problem is not really her punctuality but your anxiety.

It was full of people, and I struggle with that.

Wait inside?

You don't have to sit waiting for anyone if you choose not to. Entirely up to you.

But if you chill about it, and don't treat the time you're waiting as a punishment or deliberate insult, you'll probably have a nicer time when your friend turns up.

Yep... a friend got us tickets for an event, and she left me waiting for over an hour outside the venue.. in the snow. I was anxious, freezing, and ready to throttle her when she showed up.

I got it!!

But it’s not just ‘sitting comfortably in a pub for 10 mins’

What if you’re standing in the rain for half an hour waiting for them to pick you up?

What if it’s your child’s christening and the late person is the godparent and the entire church full of people are standing around waiting because they weren’t happy with their hair and decided to redo it at the last minute?

What if you both have a plane to catch?

What if you’re going to the theatre/ballet and the chimes are gonging and you’re about to be shut out and miss the first act?

I have someone in my life like this, always happy to leave people waiting but never late for work.

I'm sorry I don't think you understood my post (I'm hoping others will 😁)

No, I won’t chill. Why should I sit waiting for 40 mins for someone who insists time just got away from them but can get to work every day on time, make flights, attend work do’s, go to nail appointments, kid’s concerts and never be late. Rude and disrespectful.

She was probably not late for work because it is a predictable schedule, so issues with time blindness are less of a barrier. It’s much easier to get to work on time as you have experience of the exact journey, the pitfalls, you have a set amount of things to do to get ready, know what you’re going to wear etc. So it’s just easier to get to work on time than a social occasion that’s maybe at a new venue, requires thinking about outfit/hair, requires leaving in the middle of the day when there are other things to do before getting ready to distract you.

Anyway, people who are pedantic with time generally filter out chronic tardy people and those people all form friendships with other tardy pals where they are all late together and relaxed about waiting too as they have empathy for lateness. Frustration only occurs when the two groups have to mix!

This isn't about being punctual. This is about lying to you. Unacceptable.

I don't understand this.

Are you meeting at 9am? What have Morrisons and tiger bread got to do with it? Just do you and meet at 9 am

This is what my lovely friend is like:

' so we'll meet at 9- we'll bring a pack up. I'm going to make cheese sandwiches for the kids. I I've just got to pop to Morrisons to get the rolls coz the kids like the tiger bread baked ones and Tilly will have a melt down in we don't get the tiger ones. So you need to leave yours in 10 minutes if you also need to get tiger bread rolls as Morrisons closes at 9pm. I'm sorry I can't pick you up as my DH is visiting his nan so I've got nobody to have the kids. You could always get your DH to sit with the kids whilst you go ? "

1.) I don't shop at Morrisons
2.) I don't want to pop to any shop, least of all now
3.) you've already given me a suggested plan of how I can get to Morrisons even though I don't shop there and don't need anything and don't want to go there to get tiger bread rolls that my kids don't actually want !
4.) my kids will just shrug their shoulders and go with the flow with what's for lunch. Might even get it out. Certainly won't plan a pack up the night before
5.) I don't want to meet at 9 but you haven't let me breathe, you've sweetly and unintentionally planned my evening and next day and I feel trapped into going along with it 😬

Anyway, point being , is the late hater the problem sometimes? Are these types more neurotic ?

I have done... it is always "sorry, I am on my way"

Seriously, who waits for 90 minutes in a cafe, waiting for someone to turn up and seething? Call them. See where they got to.

Not strange.

Read TotHappy's explanation above. You seem to be turning a social occasion into some kind of work meeting. Just chill a bit.