To think punctuality is a sign of basic respect?

I agree.

Some people genuinely struggle to work out how to be punctual. They underestimate the time required but their intention is good. One of my staff is terrible at time management but she’s a hard worker. She has ADHD. Late for work but also stays late. Ongoing problem trying to support her. She’s late socially too. She’ll likely be late for her own funeral. She’s so bright and her attention to detail is next level but she can’t get timings right. Ever. Researchers refer to these people as ‘time benders’.

As a teacher I get really frustrated with children being late often. It’s not fair on the children and the parents always have some reason why they’re late and they’re the same ones who turn up late everyday! I’d hate for my child to feel so unimportant that I can’t be bothered to pick them up on time.

@MasterBeth is either completely entitled or willlfully ignorant. Suggesting people are uptight because they arrive at a pre organised time is completely ignorant.

I don’t get annoyed if someone is occasionally 10 minutes late, stuff happens. I’m not a naturally on time person, so I have strategies to make sure I arrive on time.

Clocks exist for a reason, and unless someone says “let’s meet at 7pm-ish, or 7pm give or take”, then I would expect both parties to arrive at the prearranged time. If someone is persistently late it does suggest that they think their time is more valuable than mine. It’s all well and good saying just chill in a cafe for 10 minutes, but what if I could have used that 10 minutes to do a bit more work, or spend it with my kids, or do some life admin at home. Maybe that 10 minutes means nothing to you, but to someone else it is valuable and it’s disrespectful and selfish to so obviously disregard that.

I don't like waiting, whether I am waiting for others or others are waiting for me, it drives me crazy.

I feel like there are two “different types”, those who are perpetually running a few minutes late, stressing about it , and those who are extremely late and don’t seem to care . I’ve known someone who was always at least an hour late.

Was just saying exactly this

My boss is perpetually late for meetings, reschedules at the last minute or plain old doesn't show up

Loses all credibility

thats because fashionably late’ is a personality trait.

that said ive been on both sides the one being late, then when i made the efforts to those that complained as we were a team , then they were late as and when so it seems some want good times and then do the opposite when it suits

My DH will always be on time for work but socially he is always late. He under estimates his time for things like…”it takes 5 mins to get from A to B”. I reply no you haven’t factored in school kicking out time and actually it’s a 15 min drive. Same thing about getting a train, he doesn’t factor the fact there could be a queue to buy a train ticket and by then the train has been missed. He’s always so apologetic when he arrives and he genuinely means it and gets stressed by it.
I don’t understand why he does this and for work or airport he is always early. To get around things I always have to lie to him that something is earlier then it is so we can be on time like meeting friends or family.
I’m an on time person or maybe 2-3 mins late for work meetings… I hate small talk before meetings so I do it on purpose to avoid it. Maybe this is disrespect in a way.

He doesn’t disrespect anyone it’s just poor time management so I think YABU.

I agree OP

YANBU

Ooft there’s a lot of tightly wound folk on this thread.

I presume, as you put it, 'blind' people manage to be ontime I would presume it is rude to think they can't

But if people are late and using 'I can't help it' can still communicate and let people know that they have to constantly be late

Being always late is rude not matter what excuse you come up with

Ha ha this! Well said.

And also struggle with poor time keeping from other people!

@MasterBeth "Chilling about it is one (successful) strategy, I have found."

glad that works for you

what I find works really well, especially good on chilling out about it, is not to be friends with chronically late people. Also don't be friends with the type who are shocked to need extra time for security checks on bags and don't get that you won't get in the theatre door without your ticket.

that way, you can have a drink and relax. Yay!

neuro diverse people struggle with time keeping

Yes, it is fine. They showed me what I mean to them time after time. Easy decision.

I needed tickets to get in and the other poster needed tickets to get in, you know, like most concerts.

That's fine, if that's what this person means to you.

I will, as I have said, often arrive 10 or 15 minutes after the time I've said I'll meet friends or arrive at their house. Sometimes I'll arrive at the time we mentioned and they'll be there 10 or 15 minutes after. It's all fine. No-one stresses over it.

I’m always late to the airport, stress myself out doing it. but aim to be there 2 hours before so I haven’t miss flight

No you don’t have to chill and just accept it. I went home.

Imagine telling someone to tap into their coping skills to facilitate someone who can’t be bothered to get there on time 😂

Nah bin them.

For me I know I've struggled badly with anxiety in the past and really really found it hard to be on time for things because I've been working so hard to build myself up to getting there - even for things that I really want to do. So I wouldn't class it as disrespectful because I know how much it took for me to get out the door in the first place at times.

I also think work wise, it's unfair to attribute it to work ethic as others have said - I work extremely hard and I'd say I have a great work ethic but the nature of my job can be chaotic and sometimes responsibilities conflict and I have to try and juggle both. I personally wouldn't think twice if someone was 5/10 minutes late to a meeting with me. Certainly wouldn't feel disrespected and it wouldn't make me question their work ethic unless there were other factors like laziness when they were working with me.

I don’t mind people being a bit late , I don’t think it’s disrespectful, it happens . but then punctuality isn’t my strong point. I do think it might be adhd related, I have to set v clocks forward to “trick” myself and set a bunch of alarms . I stress myself out with time keeping

In lots of places, you don't need tickets to get in the door. You need tickets to get in the auditorium.

The problem was the combination of one person being late and another person getting anxious about the other person being late.

You're not in control of someone else being late. You're only in control of your own reaction to it.

Fuming and seething and standing in the snow isn't a useful reaction. Some people will be late. You can moan about it on Mumsnet or you can using coping strategies to deal with it. Chilling about it is one (successful) strategy, I have found.