To ask what really combats misogyny? What can I do?

Absolutely- well said. I refuse to support any scheme or organisation that claims to support women and girls but then allows male-born persons to apply/compete. Looking at you, the entire UK HE system, but particularly large Russell Group institutions that offer bursaries to encourage women into STEM subjects but open them up to anyone who ‘identifies’ as a woman. I am sick of this.

Dd and her friends bumped into one of the boys mothers at a party who twittered “ooh bet all you girls love Jack so handsome plays rugby”. None had the heart to tell her nope they all hated him as he’s a total misogynistic dickhead.

I escaped a DV relationship. My ex stalks and abuses me on a forum connected to my favourite hobby.

He is allowed to do this as he refers to "the ex". He doesn't specifically name me, but it's obviously about me.

The law allows him to do this as he could easily claim he was mouthing off about a different ex. The Police and forum owner will not do anything because of this.

You said the ‘model of feminism’ that ‘we’ follow was flawed. Feminism seeks to establish sexual equality. Or do you imagine it’s something entirely different?

Yes I agree with your point. I was just saying people do do this (which I disagree with).

And I would disagree with them too?

What's your point?

Either you agree that innocents belonging to an identity group bear some responsibility or not, which is it?

Many men feel they are owed a wife/girlfriend slave. They see women as lesser vessels for their own gratification and reproduction. I have an idea how to fix it but many many people would not like it.

Actually loads of people do expect exactly this. Every time there's a terrorist attack by a radicalised Muslim, plenty of people rush to blame all Muslims, expect them to take responsibility and demand to know why they aren't marching on the streets in protest.

Ante natal Parenting classes. The first 1000 days in a child’s life are crucial.

This was an unintended consequence of women insisting that men and women were equal and interchangeable.

I don't agree and feel this attitude contributes to radicalisation. We don't expect ethnic minorities to police one another's behaviour if a crime is committed and say its the business of innocent people within their community to deal with do we?

Totally agree with this.

This is where the rot of the male mind begins. You've got to catch them young before it's too late.

DD is horrified at the language teenage boys use to refer to girls in school. In general, not just when ending relationships.

She's developed a severe aversion to boys and men as a class. I half heatedly remind her that not all boys are like that. She's identified 5 decent boys. In a cohort of 250 year 11s! Obviously, she doesn't actually know them all, but you get the gist.

I don't want our female children to go through life full of fear, or disgust at half of humanity. But I'd rather they were safe. And alive.

I agree. Our whole model relies on male benevolence. It doesn’t need to.

Nothing. But I didn’t say it was did I?

I think that too. I think the only thing to do is make strict rules and laws that protect women and society enforces them. Why all the self ID nonsense was so dangerous chipping away at the bare minimum protections we have for the benefit of a minimum of men. And women cheering it on. Clueless.

What’s ‘flawed’ about expecting sex equality?

I also don't think it will ever stop. Men will always view women in a sexual way and have a desire to overpower them. Obviously we must push back wherever we can. I just think it will always exist.

I agree with you. Ultimately, men have a biological advantage over women in terms of physical strength and in terms of reproduction (i.e. the way that humans reproduce does not render men vulnerable in the way that it does for women). However many laws we put in place, women will always live with the reality that men are a threat to them in a primal way and that women do not represent that threat to men in return. Every aspect of society is built on that foundation.

Call out the small things and don't be shy. If someone says 'Oh it doesn't matter', 'Oh it's just banter', let them know it is not 'overreacting', it all starts with the 'small things' being allowed because people feel awkward carrying them out.

Point out power relations, eg no, it's not some superpower that a woman could 'get what she wants' through sex - look at it the other way; it just means men are the gatekeepers to power and are much more likely to be able demand sex from women for favours than a woman is to 'choose' to have sex with a man she hates to get somewhere. 99% of the time it's exploitation by the man, not the woman. And also the man could promise a woman something in return for sex, get the sex he wants and not even come through - who can she complain to about that? No one. Because the man is the one with the power.

I don’t think misogyny will ever stop. I think expecting it to is unrealistic. I feel like the model of feminism we currently follow is inherently flawed and will result in nothing but a frustrating and endless struggle. I have some ideas about a new model but doubt anyone will be interested because I fully expect what I have just written to provoke outrage!

We need men to call out misogyny when they see it. Unfortunately this is not a problem that women can solve. It has to come from men. Men need to create the change.

I spend a lot of time repeating myself again and again to male friends and colleagues and trying to impress upon them that it's not enough to just not be sexist. If you're a man and your friends or colleagues are telling sexist jokes, being inappropriate to women at work, talking in a disrespectful way about women, parroting the Tate brothers etc and you just sit there and do nothing, as a man who is not oppressed by those attitudes, then you are actively supporting the continuation of a culture whereby that is acceptable and tolerated.

Teen Dd shocked at the misogynistic rage of teenage boys when girls however gently dare to end a relationship. These are “nice” middle class boys. Sure their parents have no idea.

If you have boys teach them not to be misogynistic.

agree

Ask the men in your life to get their house in order. This is something men need to be angry about and need they need to be challenging other men about their misogyny.

I don't think this is the only thing but honestly I feel like it's a constant battle for us and we need men to be on board.