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Original poster

DP wants to end relationship over misunderstanding with waitress

642 replies

Butterfly75756 · 12/03/2025 19:42

Went out for a meal with DP and all was going well. That was, until the mains arrived, and DP was adamant he had ordered his meal without mushrooms, yet his food had arrived containing them. A bit of a back and forth started between him and the waitress, who was saying DP definitely didn't ask for no mushrooms.

DP then turns to me and says something along the lines of, "Tell her I ordered no mushrooms". I immediately felt embarrassed and mumbled, "I can't remember". I hate confrontation and I genuinely couldn't remember.

The waitress eventually took the food back to go and fix the apparent mistake and DP was absolutely fuming saying even if I couldn't remember, I should have lied and said that I did and he kept repeating "Don't you know I don't like mushrooms?" After about 20 mins of being in a strop, he said that he would now have to reconsider the relationship as he doesn't want to be with someone who 'doesn't have his back'

Like the emotional wreck that I am, I began crying at the table and he told me to stop because I was embarrassing him.

So my question is, was I wrong to say I couldn't remember or should I have lied?

OP posts:
MumWifeOther · 12/03/2025 22:07

Hattie907 · 12/03/2025 22:05

I’d be worried it’d bite me on the arse and my ‘D’H would lie to me too eventually.

But you sound a match made in heaven tbh so maybe not. Well, in a Macbeth and Lady Macbeth kind of way I suppose. 🙈

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You would be worried that if you showed loyalty to your family above others they would repay you by lying to you too?

VielleTruite · 12/03/2025 22:07

Pity he doesn't like mushrooms, I'd have advised a nice Destroying Angel risotto for the mardy little twunt. Get rid, ducky, seriously. Blokes like him aren't worth the time of day and certainly not worth getting upset about or crying over.

Fififafa · 12/03/2025 22:06

MumWifeOther · 12/03/2025 21:11

As a family we have a rule that we always back eachother in public. At home, then we can discuss futher.

Does your partner often belittle you in public and at home?

Hattie907 · 12/03/2025 22:06

CharlotteCChapel · 12/03/2025 22:03

I told my DH about this an he was WTF. What I can't understand is why didn't he leave them on the plate.

Absolute toddler behaviour.

GravyBoatWars · 12/03/2025 22:06

Exit stage left, OP.

Everyone - right down to the worst abusers and psychopaths - can be polite and generous when they know that's what will benefit them. Always watch how people behave when they feel insultated from their actions (around people they have power over like waitstaff, around people they have learned won't stand up to them, or when they can be anonymous, for example) and when they're angry or not getting what they want. That's when you'll see whether they view treating others with respect and kindness as a principal or just a tool to use or put down depending on their goals and mood.

Hattie907 · 12/03/2025 22:05

MumWifeOther · 12/03/2025 22:02

Who’s to say it’s not him backing me!? 😜

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I’d be worried it’d bite me on the arse and my ‘D’H would lie to me too eventually.

But you sound a match made in heaven tbh so maybe not. Well, in a Macbeth and Lady Macbeth kind of way I suppose. 🙈

KimberleyClark · 12/03/2025 22:05

AffIt · 12/03/2025 19:46

I always find that people who are rude or unpleasant to waiting staff (or retail workers, or cleaning staff, or receptionists) are pretty fucking horrible in all other walks of life, so you've dodged a bullet here.

This. Not treating public/customer facing people with respect is a dealbreaker for me.

Itisbetter · 12/03/2025 22:05

FortyElephants · 12/03/2025 19:43

How long have you been with this dipstick?

This

CharlotteCChapel · 12/03/2025 22:03

I told my DH about this an he was WTF. What I can't understand is why didn't he leave them on the plate.

MumWifeOther · 12/03/2025 22:03

livelovelough24 · 12/03/2025 22:01

No, but you said you would always lie for your husband.

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So sue me? I said context is important too.

MumWifeOther · 12/03/2025 22:02

Bitofanchange · 12/03/2025 21:59

That’s what downtrodden wives do I suppose, which is why the OPs told to run.

Who wants to be married to a “man” like that, with a wifey who says “yes dear, of course you’re right” you always are, the silly waitress must’ve made a mistake,

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Who’s to say it’s not him backing me!? 😜

livelovelough24 · 12/03/2025 22:01

MumWifeOther · 12/03/2025 21:59

ITS NOT COURT THOUGH IS IT?

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No, but you said you would always lie for your husband.

HappiestSleeping · 12/03/2025 22:00

SwedishEdith · 12/03/2025 19:45

An adult man would have said "Ah, don't worry, I'll just pick them out".

Or maybe even said nothing and just picked them out?

MsJinks · 12/03/2025 21:59

I have always had a real 'thing' - an aversion or 'ick' expresses it I think - for 'couples that lie'. It really, really makes me squirm, and actually reminds me of infamous couples such as the Wests.
I've now seen on here that it's considered by some to be how a family should operate together as that's showing full support for each other in public. So I have an explanation for it now, which I didn't really think of before. It still just doesn't click with me at all though, there's so many reasons not to do this, especially when passing it down the generations, and I will still squirm at it.
Though I don't generally sit there directly contradicting a partner, friend or parents who might be rambling on about irrelevant (and untrue) things, but turn my attention elsewhere - if directly asked I'll say what I think is true though. I'd also tactfully suggest/say what I believe happened in a situation like the OPs, if I knew. I'll only hide what I think is the truth in a situation that could be dangerous for the person I know, which is exceptionally rare.
Squirming at all these 'couples that lie' out there now 🙈

Bitofanchange · 12/03/2025 21:59

MumWifeOther · 12/03/2025 21:57

It’s hardly court is it? Honestly, context is important. I would give my husband benefit of the doubt and wonder why the waitress wouldn’t just correct it.

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That’s what downtrodden wives do I suppose, which is why the OPs told to run.

Who wants to be married to a “man” like that, with a wifey who says “yes dear, of course you’re right” you always are, the silly waitress must’ve made a mistake,

MumWifeOther · 12/03/2025 21:59

livelovelough24 · 12/03/2025 21:58

I am pretty sure that "for better or worse" does not include committing a crime, which it would be if you were lying in court for example.

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ITS NOT COURT THOUGH IS IT?

savethatkitty · 12/03/2025 21:58

Christ, why were you crying?

He sounds like a right knob but you need to get a grip.

CoralCrab · 12/03/2025 21:58

This has to be a joke. I don’t believe this is real. Jesus Christ.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 12/03/2025 21:58

That poster is loving all this attention. ugh

MumWifeOther · 12/03/2025 21:58

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I don’t even know what “ma baker” is but okay. I genuinely don’t care 😅

livelovelough24 · 12/03/2025 21:58

MumWifeOther · 12/03/2025 21:54

Yes I would. For better or worse and all that 😏

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I am pretty sure that "for better or worse" does not include committing a crime, which it would be if you were lying in court for example.

Busybeemumm · 12/03/2025 21:57

OP- you should be shouting 'cheque please' and leave this loser asap with your head held high.

Bitofanchange · 12/03/2025 21:57

MumWifeOther · 12/03/2025 21:54

Yes I would. For better or worse and all that 😏

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Awful! Just awful!

I really hope one of you is on the end of a lie and lose your jobs, or something close to you. Because, you know it’s ok to lie.

I assume this rule of lying for him extends to other areas and not just restaurants.

MumWifeOther · 12/03/2025 21:57

livelovelough24 · 12/03/2025 21:55

Why are people arguing about what a waitress should or should not be doing, this post is about OP and her partner wanted to lie for him. He might have asked for no mushrooms but she did not hear it and therefore could not say with certainty that she did.

It’s hardly court is it? Honestly, context is important. I would give my husband benefit of the doubt and wonder why the waitress wouldn’t just correct it.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 12/03/2025 21:57

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