DP wants to end relationship over misunderstanding with waitress

How awful for you. I would have said I no longer want to be in a relationship with a prick who has a meltdown over mushrooms.

I trust you’re getting rid, yes?

1. He's rude to people in service roles
2. He lacks humility he could have forgotten to ask for it to be made without mushrooms
3. He lacks grace if he genuinely believes the waitress was mistaken
4. He's put you in an awkward situation by pulling you into prove he's right
5. He feels entitled to you lying for him even
6. When you are upset he isn't concerned for your feelings, you are just an annoyance
7. He's happy to make you feel insecure about the relationship by bringing up the spectre of breaking up over you being honest to a waitress instead of blindly lying for him because he thought you should.

He's arrogant, entitled and doesn't give a shit about your feelings. Even if he's not an overall bad egg it doesn't sound like you are very compatible if he's the sort of person whose ego needs to be right and makes a bigger confrontation of things than they need to be whilst you are mortified that he's being rude and confrontational and end up in tears and then he's scathing of you rather than comforting or considerate.

This isn't someone who is going to "have your back" if you get a health problem or have a sleep-deprived miscommunication post-partum, he wants to be right all the time, and expects you to agree with him. He'll be ultra-critical of any human errors on your part that he can use to make himself look superior and may well gas light you even when he's the one in the wrong.

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." - J. K. Rowling (Sirius Black)

And who he considers inferior is illuminating too - women, girlfriend, waitress.

I have to deal with dicks like this all the time.

Google "The Waiteress Test". He FAILED. He is not a person you should be in a relationship with. When he tried to bully the waitress and when she argued back and you didnt agree with him, he bullied you.

You know the answer, right? You know you shouldn't have lied in order to convince the waitress she'd made a mistake. No decent man would ever kick off in that way in the first place, let alone threaten you with a break up afterwards. Dump him instead, and spend your one precious life with nice people around you.

Yes dear I’m sure he listens to you

He sounds utterly charmless.

No, you shouldn’t lie to make him look like less of a dickhead.

DP wants to end relationship over misunderstanding with waitress
Then let him.
Anything else just allows him to manipulate you so you believe you are in the wrong and has you begging him not to. Stop that pattern now OP

All the rest of the thread is just noise. He's not worthy of you

Here here, described perfectly.

Off topic here but mushrooms are truly hated by the haters. Most divisive kingdom.

No you weren’t wrong and he sounds abusive.

He’s being unreasonable for requesting no mushrooms for a start. Mushrooms are 🤤

He sounds a bit of a shiit (ake)

Typical. Husband is probably having affairs all over the place but you don’t believe him because he tells you that all the other women are lying 🙄

I’d be sending him back op , never mind the mushrooms!

Excellent!!

solid underused insult.

You have better morels.

(I'll stop, but wishing you well, OP).

Lol, you took my line.

He sounds awful.

He's certainly got mushroom for improvement...

Ironically those of us who wouldn’t lie for our husband’s “must hate men” but we then have this second old chestnut from the misogynists’ playbook: ah yes, silly me, I must need to be ‘fucked’ and this is why I’m being so uptight about being a wet wipe lying for my DH and teaching my DC this is totally normal and in fact virtuous behaviour.

I would reconsider being in a relationship with someone who berates wait staff, over reacts and makes me cry.

Agree definite red flags op, he doesn’t sound very nice.

Wow! this is certainly not somebody i would consider spending ther rest of my life with. If he can go into a mental breakdown over mushrooms and want to dump you what will happen when life throws real challenges at him? Throw him back. He's a man child.

First,I think your partners reaction was out of order. Second, I think the waitress was wrong in arguing with a customer in front of other guests. She should have quietly walked away with the plate & asked the chef to remove them. Thirdly,I have to be honest if my DH asked me if I heard him saying no mushrooms I would have said yes. Knowing he hates mushrooms I would have assumed he said it the same way as DH knows I always say no coriander. If I see coriander on my plate it's like a red rag to a bull so no doubt he felt stressed although he shouldn't have taken it out on you.

I hope he has calmed down & you can sort it out. If not then it's about far more than mushrooms & it's not meant to be.