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Original poster

DP wants to end relationship over misunderstanding with waitress

642 replies

Butterfly75756 · 12/03/2025 19:42

Went out for a meal with DP and all was going well. That was, until the mains arrived, and DP was adamant he had ordered his meal without mushrooms, yet his food had arrived containing them. A bit of a back and forth started between him and the waitress, who was saying DP definitely didn't ask for no mushrooms.

DP then turns to me and says something along the lines of, "Tell her I ordered no mushrooms". I immediately felt embarrassed and mumbled, "I can't remember". I hate confrontation and I genuinely couldn't remember.

The waitress eventually took the food back to go and fix the apparent mistake and DP was absolutely fuming saying even if I couldn't remember, I should have lied and said that I did and he kept repeating "Don't you know I don't like mushrooms?" After about 20 mins of being in a strop, he said that he would now have to reconsider the relationship as he doesn't want to be with someone who 'doesn't have his back'

Like the emotional wreck that I am, I began crying at the table and he told me to stop because I was embarrassing him.

So my question is, was I wrong to say I couldn't remember or should I have lied?

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 13/03/2025 07:47

Not mush room in your life for this moody man.

itsgettingweird · 13/03/2025 07:42

The only thing you did wrong is to date the twat!

Now you know how he will treat you going forward cut your losses and run.

RollerSkateLikePeggy · 13/03/2025 07:40

Interesting range of reactions to this post. For me, honesty is an important quality in every instance, and works as a metric for how compatible I am with someone. Do they say something if they are given too much change? Would they be truthful on a tax return? I don't mean that they should be bluntly honest ("does my bum look big in this?" "Yes, huge") but have enough emotional intelligence to be diplomatic without lying. A man berating you to tears for not lying for him would instantly put me off him, and I would rather be single.

Iamnotabot · 13/03/2025 07:39

I guess if someone bought me the wrong order I’d want it taken back and if the waitress argued I’d argue back. So I don’t know that’s evidence of emotional abuse.
And if you know your husband doesn’t like mushrooms then why would you think he might have ordered them?

That said no-one likes being put on the spot or dragged into an argument.

Bitofanchange · 13/03/2025 07:38

passthebiscuittins · 13/03/2025 07:33

Sounds like a terrible restaurant to be arguing with customers over what they ordered. They should have just sorted it straight away and brought out a new dish.

Did he order without mushrooms? If he did they you should have had his back. If he didn't, he's being a massive prick.

Did you miss the point of the thread?

OP doesn’t know if he did or not?

🤦‍♀️!

passthebiscuittins · 13/03/2025 07:33

Sounds like a terrible restaurant to be arguing with customers over what they ordered. They should have just sorted it straight away and brought out a new dish.

Did he order without mushrooms? If he did they you should have had his back. If he didn't, he's being a massive prick.

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 13/03/2025 07:33

Hold on a minute - we don't know for sure whether or not the mushrooms were mentioned when he ordered. Both he and the waitress were in the wrong for making a big scene of it but he wasn't wrong if he expected to get what he ordered.

What's wrong with the truth? - I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention when you ordered but I know you hate mushrooms so you'd never knowingly order them.

Dumbdog · 13/03/2025 07:32

BettyBardMacDonald · 13/03/2025 01:18

I would be irritated if someone didn't have my back in my those circumstances. What would it have cost to say "i believe he ordered it without mushrooms; he dislikes mushrooms." Instead of dithering and making him look like a fool.

She didn’t believe that. Why should someone compromise their principles and lie because some loser wants back up berating a waitress?

The only person making him look like a fool is him.

MellowCritic · 13/03/2025 07:32

savethatkitty · 12/03/2025 21:58

Christ, why were you crying?

He sounds like a right knob but you need to get a grip.

Ops already dealing with a fool who talks down to her she doesn't need you on here doing the same. Seriously I think the same question needs to be directed back at you. What the flip has crying got to do with getting a grip. PPL DONT NEED PERMISSION TO CRY.

Deathraystare · 13/03/2025 07:28

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Deathraystare · 13/03/2025 07:28
EmeraldDreams73 · 13/03/2025 07:26

Good grief. He's a twat. What about YOUR choices here? Never mind what he might want. Get out now.

MellowCritic · 13/03/2025 07:26

Op he's not going to leave you. He's just being at best immature but at worse abusive. Based on another post you made my money is more on the abusive side. I think its time you sat down and had a talk with him and call him out on it and actually if he doesn't address his behaviour then you're the one who might be leaving.

Deathraystare · 13/03/2025 07:26

Hewasntvenasking

Deathraystare · 13/03/2025 07:25

Hewasn

ASimpleLampoon · 13/03/2025 07:19

BettyBardMacDonald · 13/03/2025 01:18

I would be irritated if someone didn't have my back in my those circumstances. What would it have cost to say "i believe he ordered it without mushrooms; he dislikes mushrooms." Instead of dithering and making him look like a fool.

He needs no help looking like a fool

StandFirm · 13/03/2025 07:19

Butterfly75756 · 12/03/2025 19:42

Went out for a meal with DP and all was going well. That was, until the mains arrived, and DP was adamant he had ordered his meal without mushrooms, yet his food had arrived containing them. A bit of a back and forth started between him and the waitress, who was saying DP definitely didn't ask for no mushrooms.

DP then turns to me and says something along the lines of, "Tell her I ordered no mushrooms". I immediately felt embarrassed and mumbled, "I can't remember". I hate confrontation and I genuinely couldn't remember.

The waitress eventually took the food back to go and fix the apparent mistake and DP was absolutely fuming saying even if I couldn't remember, I should have lied and said that I did and he kept repeating "Don't you know I don't like mushrooms?" After about 20 mins of being in a strop, he said that he would now have to reconsider the relationship as he doesn't want to be with someone who 'doesn't have his back'

Like the emotional wreck that I am, I began crying at the table and he told me to stop because I was embarrassing him.

So my question is, was I wrong to say I couldn't remember or should I have lied?

He acted like a bully on that night. You are not his mouthpiece and there is never any good reason to drive someone to an emotional meltdown. Doesn't he know you (and the rest of humanity) don't like being berated in public?

ASimpleLampoon · 13/03/2025 07:16

So what if she did make a mistake (She didn't and he's a bully). Doesn't mean he should behave like a cunt. He can ask politely.

leave him.

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 13/03/2025 07:11

Dump this man, block him and never look back. He's a disgrace of a human.

forgotmyusername1 · 13/03/2025 06:50

BobbyBiscuits · 12/03/2025 19:52

Is he allergic to mushrooms?
Does he have an eating disorder?
Is he five?

If none of the above he's clearly a dick. But the waiter should've just immediately apologised and switched it, rather than seemingly spending ages questioning the customer, to the point he's now going to divorce his partner over the subject?!

That'll make an interesting Tripadvisor review.

I saw a Facebook video yesterday (and yes I know it is clickbait) of someone asking why there was chicken in her meal and how dare they serve chicken to someone who is vegan. The answer from the staff - why did you order a chicken dish and you didn't tell us you were vegan. The customer - you didn't ask if I was vegan. - sometimes the customer isn't always right, sometimes the customer is a nob.

BelloItalia · 13/03/2025 06:42

Butterfly75756 · 12/03/2025 19:42

Went out for a meal with DP and all was going well. That was, until the mains arrived, and DP was adamant he had ordered his meal without mushrooms, yet his food had arrived containing them. A bit of a back and forth started between him and the waitress, who was saying DP definitely didn't ask for no mushrooms.

DP then turns to me and says something along the lines of, "Tell her I ordered no mushrooms". I immediately felt embarrassed and mumbled, "I can't remember". I hate confrontation and I genuinely couldn't remember.

The waitress eventually took the food back to go and fix the apparent mistake and DP was absolutely fuming saying even if I couldn't remember, I should have lied and said that I did and he kept repeating "Don't you know I don't like mushrooms?" After about 20 mins of being in a strop, he said that he would now have to reconsider the relationship as he doesn't want to be with someone who 'doesn't have his back'

Like the emotional wreck that I am, I began crying at the table and he told me to stop because I was embarrassing him.

So my question is, was I wrong to say I couldn't remember or should I have lied?

He sounds like an abusive controlling arsehole OP. I wouldn’t have lied either. First it’s lying about mushrooms, next it’s providing false alibis to the police. Slippery slope

moose62 · 13/03/2025 06:35

If he made a huge scene over a few mushrooms and it caused you to cry and beg, you really should dump him and move on. There is far more to this than mushrooms and if it has made you so emotionally fragile it is not worth clinging on to.

AlteredStater · 13/03/2025 06:25

You're not wrong for telling the truth! Mushrooms are not something to make such a big deal out of, he needs to re-think his attitude towards you. I suspect he didn't mention them and is taking that out on you. Any embarrassment that occurred was totally on him.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 13/03/2025 06:20

Your precious life does not have mush room for a dick like that! Bin him, he’s abusive. Find yourself a fun-gai.

I worked in restaurants as a student. It’s not advisable to be rude or patronising to staff as you never know what happens to your food in the kitchen. Manners always.

Newfoundzestforlife · 13/03/2025 06:00

Wow....He made a massive scene over some bloody mushrooms, but you were embarrassing HIM??
You were not in the wrong at all, he's an overreactive bully.