Anyone else unhappy with their child’s primary?

What does your child think of the school? Is she happy there? Does she have nice friends? Is the school a one form entry, or is there a chance they will mix the classes up at the end of the year? Were you or your partner privately educated? I wouldn't consider moving my child unless he/she were unhappy at the school. If you are concerned she is falling behind or not getting challenged enough, it would be a lot cheaper to get a tutor than go private.

I'd move her to private and save as much money as possible. I wouldn't stay in a job where I was regularly spat at - if you can afford private now just do it. She may have to move back to state later, you may have to start your son in state- but the problem now is that she's in an unpleasant environment and getting a poor education. Definitely worth exploring bursaries, scholarships etc to reduce costs.

It's the luck of the draw in primary whether your children is in a tricky year group or not. However, I don't think that private is necessarily that great.

I'd also hang on a bit- as they move up through the primary school, the SATS issue becomes more prominent and the school will then start looking more at those children who are expected to get GD and consider their progress, too.

We concentrated on the fact that whilst our primary wasn't academically that great, we supplemented with extra work, music and sport outside of school and that we had better secondary options. The difference at secondary is huge, and DC are flying in spite of a slightly dodgy primary school. It was also hugely beneficial socially being at the local primary school - logisitics were dead easy and it was great for knowing everyone.

£15k sounds very cheap (incl VAT)!
You should expect fees to rise too.

It’s so sad that state primaries are becoming less and less suitable for NT children as the numbers of children with SEND is going through the roof and need so much in the way of teaching resources. A ticking time bomb for government finances, really.

What did you decide? Were in the same situation but can't afford private. Dc is happy but I'm really not.

I am a year 2 teacher and I would advise you to move to private in your situation if it is possible. The current year 2 cohort are the children who were 2 years old during Covid and missed out on vital socialisation. The extremes of behaviour we have seen in year 2 classes across lots of schools are, in many cases, due to SEN not being picked up early enough and vulnerable parents not being supported during really important years in their child’s development.

On the other side there are those children who had lots of attention and individual input if parents weren’t working. These children are just expected get on with things alone while screaming and chaos from the few disruptive pupils happens around them.

Does this account for tax? I wasn’t sure from previous posts? Because obviously you pay school fees on your taxed (net) income. This looks incredibly tight, even if your income figures are indeed net. FWIW anyone I know who sends more than one child to private school either earns 200k plus a year or has significant family help.

Also bear in mind that your peak (secondary) school fees time won’t be for at least 10 years. A huge amount can change in that time- what about illness, redundancy, if the bottom falls out of your industry. Or just burnout- having 2 kids takes its toll. Plus fees and sundries are only going to rise, and you haven’t even got your qualification yet.

Personally unless more significant issues arise I wouldn’t go private, I’d give it a couple more years until your eldest is maybe year 4. It’s possible that the children with most severe needs may move schools- this can happen with more time for medical professionals to intervene. I’d get your DD assessed by a private tutor who specialises in 11 pls half way through year 3 and then consider tutoring or make another plan for secondary at that point.

Hi OP I'm in secondary not primary but I work in SEND, many parents belive one to one TA support is wonderful but as I think you have found it is quite often about containment of behavioral problems.
I can't comment on your finances and lifestyle but I am a naturally low maintenance person myself who doesn't spend much so if you know you are similar I expect you can afford private education.
I do think your daughter has been unfortunate in her primary school but the number of children with SEND and severity of the SEND is increasing a lot and many professionals think covid created a huge spike in some disorders. Mental health professionals are increasingly concerned about the use of social media which many parents seem to allow children as young as primary age completely free unrestricted access to.
And you wouldn't have to pay for private 6th form the behavioral problems evaporate because of the GCSE grade requirements of A levels. However there are very good state sixth forms and much worse ones. But it's not too hard to spot the difference and it is certainly good experience for independent life as a young adult.

Just because a child needs one to one doesn’t mean their parent is failing them! What an idiotic ignorant thing to comment.

The one to ones could be for SEN . Bit harsh to say it's the failings of other parents.

I’m not happy with my DD’s Junior school, the infant feeder school was amazing but this school is not good. I can’t afford private though.

I’m in a similar position and am about to pull my two primary aged children out of their state school and send them privately.

It’s been a hard decision as was never the plan financially but there has been a significant change in behaviour at the school recently. The violence and language they have been exposed to is quite shocking really.

Academically, their teachers don’t have the capacity to stretch them as there are a lot of children with behavioural issues or SEN needs that don’t have additional support. The teachers seem to have an almost impossible task on their hands.

No I didn't particularly like DD's primary. We lived on the edges of a deprived area, and there was behaviour challenges and children not getting support for learning at home (and this was back in the 2000s). DD was also academically behind but not a lot of academic support for her. However, we couldn't afford to move or send private but we paid for private tutoring in Y5 AND Y6. DD went to a good state secondary.

Instead of going private for prep, would tutoring be an option? I'm not sure I would take the risk for prep on those wages with two dc. Instead, I would save for secondary.

Unfortunately many parents have to suck up a sub standard primary education. No fault of the teachers might I add, just lack of funding.

Sorry if I've missed that, but did you confirm if the £110k salary is net or not?

Personally I'd give it a little longer as it is quite early days to see how things settle. I also suppose it depends if you believe that private will definitely be better? I'm not sure I agree that that is always true.

You are right though that the number of children with SEN/behavioural difficulties is increasing, yet the funding just isn't there to support them. I do think all children deserve to learn, but inclusion at all costs seems to have a negative impact on a good number of learners. We are also in SW and really like dd's school, but I don't know how the teachers manage with the numbers of children needing various different types of support. I don't know what the answer is there, probably just decent funding and even an understanding that for some children mainstream schools just aren't the best place for the child and more spaces available at places with alternative provision.

We are in a similar position. I've 3 children, the oldest is in Y8 so a couple of years out of our local primary. His experience was mostly ok and we were happy enough with his experience, our middle is Y6 and from last year we've noticed a big drop off in the overall performance of the school, huge increase in SEN (not complaining but obviously it has an effect on the class when it's a large amount of children) but because he was close to finishing we've stuck it out with some additional tutoring. My youngest is Y3 and we're currently visiting preps as the situation just seems to be getting worse. Our oldest is in private, with the middle following next year, we had really planned only paying for seniors but we're concerned enough that we're moving things forward for the youngest.

Seems to be a similar story with all the state primaries in our area. I remember when looking for the eldest I really felt spoilt for choice with four strong options (Ofsted and recommendations), totally different now with the biggest issue seeming to be an overwhelming rise in SEN and either not enough support in the classroom or specialist places.

We are Buckinghamshire. I didn't do the 11+ as grew up in a non grammar area, but did take entry test for private. The 11+ is much harder than the test I took, and my friend is deputy at a prestigious private and agrees is much harder than their test.

I do appreciate your concern, my girls go to a lovely state primary in a fairly affluent village, but they still have their fair share of behavioural challenges. Ours stream to an extent from year 4 onwards, and divide 2 classes of 30 into 3 classes of 20, so the teaching can be more tailored to children's needs and abilities, and my daughter has really thrived this year in a calmer more focused environment, it makes such a difference.

Our state primary is exactly the same - all attention geared toward the struggling students and none left for the able students. We're moving next to an outstanding primary to get DCs in because could never afford private and they're not getting any attention at all, let alone being stretched, where they are

State primaries do tend to have some more challenging cohorts and it is the luck of the draw whether your child is in a challenging cohort. Combine that with some state primaries discouraging applications from children with SEND, resulting in more welcoming ones becoming SEND magnet schools and you end up with some schools being overwhelmed. I think that is to the detriment of all of the children, but those most at risk of not meeting their potential are the most able and those with mild SEND who get missed.

We moved DD2 to a prep school and the difference that 4x the funding makes is very clear. She wasn't in a disrupted cohort at her state school, but has a combination of SEND and ability that means that a smaller class and more teacher time will make a difference to her. She is also far less bored. I'm sad for DD1 that we didn't do the same for her. I think primary school was rather boring for her. We got her tutored and she got into the secondary we wanted, but that wasn't an ideal path.

@Bushmillsbabe must be location specific

A bright child with parents who are very engaged and pay for tutoring through years 4 and 5 (approx 2k in year 4, 3k+ in year 5) is as likely to pass as a private school child I think.

Certainly for the grammars near me (London) the competition & pressure is intense. I know
loads of bright dc who don't pass (many get into private) & I don't think I will be trying for my eldest. They are bright but not genius.

Round us the preps definitely prep for grammer, they publish numbers passing the 11+ on their website/adverts. The grammers are as good or better than most of the local private options, private secondary is seen as option for those who didn't quite make the 11+, it's the back up plan rather than the 1st choice

I do understand why you wouldn't want a dc in that environment but I would look at other state options first. Like I said I think all the way through is expensive & tight even on 170k because you have 2 dc but you know your lifestyle best & how much sacrifice you want to make. Good luck!

Where abouts are you that still does the 11+?
Having just done a practice 11+ with DD1 today and looked at the type of questions, sucess isn't really dependent on teaching quality, it's very specific in the type of questions. My feeling from looking at it and speaking with various teachers is that more children pass the 11+ from private because of a combination of more invested parents on average, and because independents are allowed to prep children for the 11+, state are not.

A bright child with parents who are very engaged and pay for tutoring through years 4 and 5 (approx 2k in year 4, 3k+ in year 5) is as likely to pass as a private school child I think.