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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

if I told you I wanted to socialise with my surgeon

105 replies

EustaceEustace · 12/03/2025 19:13

you'd tell me he couldn't because it was inappropriate and that I was unreasonable for asking right?

But if you are famous, you can get your surgeon to do an interview with you, a cosy photoshoot and say things like:

“We’re going to be friends for the rest of our lives,” McCall says to him. “We are going to go out to dinner with our partners! We are GOING TO DO IT!”

https://www.thetimes.com/article/1c160a07-3b88-4e58-8db0-f5624a5ac4f6

Davina McCall: My brain surgery and the doctor who saved me
When the TV presenter posted on social media in November that she had a brain cyst, she was already on the operating table. Now the patient and her neurosurgeon, Kevin O’Neill, reveal their powerful bond

(paywall but basically an interview with her and her surgeon (from which the above is a direct quote) and a photoshoot - the image below is just one picture. There is another where he's in a suit and she has her hand draped over him

don't know if this will link:

https://www.thetimes.com/imageserver/image//2f5253ea-1e0d-4e18-9ae9-0857a96ad44d.jpg?crop=3543,2834,0,663

Makes me think less of him that he agreed to do it in that way because I bet almost everyone who has successful brain tumour surgery whether malignant or benign feels a huge emotional attachment and overwhelming gratitude to their surgeon - which is precisely why the professional rules about non-professional contacts with patients are so strict. The BMA even prohibits accepting social media friend request from patients!

AIBU to think she shouldn't have done this (i don't mean an interview about her surgery generally, I mean this 'emotional bond'/out for dinner/cosy photoshoot with the surgeon) or said what she said and he shouldn't have done it either.
and he wouldn't have done the same thing for someone non-famous (I get that is why there was interest from the paper - but say you had a leading allotment gardener who wanted to do the same thing in allotments weekly or a company secretary in company secretary monthly). Other patients could look at this and think, well if she can try to go out with him socially why can't I?

Davina McCall: My brain surgery and the doctor who saved me

When the presenter posted on social media in November that she had a brain cyst, she was already on the operating table. Now she reveals her bond with her surgeon

https://www.thetimes.com/article/1c160a07-3b88-4e58-8db0-f5624a5ac4f6

OP posts:
NoWordForFluffy · 12/03/2025 19:24

I thought this was bizarre and inappropriate. Can't imagine even considering this with my surgeon, who I've been seeing (medically only!) for 2.5 years now, so I know him quite well.

spirit20 · 12/03/2025 19:23

I remember thinking exactly that when I saw the article. Not a chance in hell I'd socialise with the surgeon who dealt with a procedure for me recently, and I'm fairly sure he'd think exactly the same.

Jabtastic · 12/03/2025 19:21

Very strange and inappropriate. Professional boundaries matter.

CalmConfident · 12/03/2025 19:20

I agree, I thought it was really strange !

Regail · 12/03/2025 19:16

As a hospital consultant, I would not do this in a million years, however famous they were. I am really strict about boundaries. Not everybody feels the same.