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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To help a friend with their house purchase?

158 replies

DoNoTakeNo · 12/03/2025 17:17

He is likely to be divorcing in the next few months & doesn't have the finances available to buy the family home (no kids involved) to which he is really emotionally attached.

I believe he is short by around £100k which DH & I are lucky enough to have.

WIBU to help him out?
And would a straight loan be better than jointly buying the house with him? FWIW he is self employed in a steady business & we've known him for over a decade.
I want to help him, he is genuinely a good man, but I'm not prepared to risk my kids inheritance!

(Sorry I don't know how to enable voting from the app.)

OP posts:
Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 12/03/2025 17:21

Don’t do it

IsawwhatIsaw · 12/03/2025 17:21

That’s a huge sum of money. I would never give that to someone it’s a huge risk .

TwattyMcFuckFace · 12/03/2025 17:20

Errrrm no.

And there's no such thing as self employed in a steady business.

They're all steady until they go tits up, or the owner has an accident/illness or something.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 12/03/2025 17:20

Jesus Christ, YABU.

Do not give away this money.

Mulledjuice · 12/03/2025 17:20

If he needs a mortgage to buy his ex out then you will have to confirm to them that it is a gift not a loan.

How then can you be sure he will repay you?

Lipstickandlashes · 12/03/2025 17:19

Don’t do it. You would absolutely be risking your kids’ inheritance, as in either scenario you stand the lose the balance if he chooses not to repay.

You sound like a lovely person, but unless you’re prepared to write the cash off, I’d find other ways to support him.

PussInBin20 · 12/03/2025 17:19

No. Don’t mix business with pleasure as they say. It’ll end in tears. Money does funny things to people.

Whatsitreallylike · 12/03/2025 17:18

When you say he doesn’t have the finances to buy, is that because he needs a deposit or because the bank would consider the repayments beyond his reach?

I imagine the latter, in which case it would be a non option for me.

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