Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - Friend has 'stolen' party idea

592 replies

Homer28 · 12/03/2025 12:42

Hi,
As a family we often go to an adventure centre/party place around 75 mins drive from our home town so not local and never been invited to a party there before. Last year we did a party there at the centres waterpark for my daughters 10th birthday.

This same venue, which throws excellent parties and has lots of party options from bowling to waterpark etc and also has an aerial assault course but it has an age/height limit. My daughter has said for a couple of years that when everyone is 10/11+ she will do a party there as its cool/scary.

This year in December (party isn't until June) she asked if she could have her party there in June. Her dad was concerned that in theory its a brilliant day out but that people may be afraid of the heights/parents may be hesitant and it could not be as exciting as shes thinks.
I text another parent of two of her friends for a second opinion and she thought it was a cool idea (wasn't aware this existed) and her kids would love to go!.

Cue this month when she tells me she is booking this for her daughters party in April. I gently suggested that the two girls having the same party might be an issue as its important at 10 to have the 'cool' party and they like to put an individual stamp on it and the parties will only be 8 weeks apart. She disagrees and thinks a party venue is open to all kids who wish to have their parties there.

I was pre empting the upset from my 10 year old who laments that shell be chastised by the class for 'copying' the first birthday girl and it takes the shine off her idea which has been brewing for a while.

AIBU to be annoyed?

YABU - You don't own a party idea!
YANBU - Its not cool to hear an idea from a friend and pip them to the post on it.

OP posts:
Friendofdennis · 13/03/2025 21:55

That is really mean of the other mum. She only found out about it as a venue as you told her about it. And she knows you were planning this for your own daughter. Not nice

WTAFAmerica · 13/03/2025 21:41

🙄🙄🙄

Homer28 · 13/03/2025 21:37

Delphiniumandlupins · 13/03/2025 21:35

I understand why you feel miffed. Do you think your friend would honestly not mind if the circumstances were reversed, despite what she says? Hope your DD has a lovely party.

No, I think she would be annoyed and is full of sh*t.

OP posts:
Delphiniumandlupins · 13/03/2025 21:35

I understand why you feel miffed. Do you think your friend would honestly not mind if the circumstances were reversed, despite what she says? Hope your DD has a lovely party.

HeyDoodie · 13/03/2025 21:09

Stop being ridiculous, no child owns a party venue, does it really matter who has their party there first? Take it as a compliment.

TiredEyes25 · 13/03/2025 21:08

This is more bonkers than the ' they've stolen out baby name idea threads '

We have a ' cool' place locally. Load of dcs mates have had parties there its not a competition

Shotokan101 · 13/03/2025 21:07

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 13/03/2025 18:23

You failed at your strop, which was clearly a strop as you quoted how many said you were unreasonable and only said you were leaving because people had pointed out your replies were definitely coming across as "my party was going to be so special and now it's ruined"

The point is ANY parent could have booked this same party because it's not some super exclusive club only you have access to.

Show us where she ever actually said anything even remotely similar to your "flight of fantasy" attempt at a put down?

Shotokan101 · 13/03/2025 21:05

Bitofanchange · 13/03/2025 19:40

You sound lovely, from what I can understand from your post! It’s a child’s birthday party, you want it to be crap?

...and you sound "wet" so drip off, on your way now, be a good little girlie... the other parent is obviously being a sneaky sod who's happy to steal a friends idea simply because she was considerate enough to have asked her opinion about HER proposed party plans for HER DC - so yes, IMO it would really be a truly wonderful example of "Cosmic Karma" biting her hard in her two-faced arse if nobody enjoyed her stolen party idea " "The Sins of The Fathers... or Mothers in this case....." and all that..... 😈

Dee00 · 13/03/2025 20:33

I totally get it and I would be really annoyed too. You found a really cool venue, something very cool/different and she totally stole your idea, fully knowing you were booking that. Honestly I’d be fuming.

CantStopMoving · 13/03/2025 20:19

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 13/03/2025 20:15

Parties are for friends to get together and have fun. Not a competition. I would say this is absolutely, 100% a non issue. With kindness, could this be about social media and how it may look to everyone else? Baffled to understand this otherwise.

I can’t remember my kids ever being bothered about anything like this. Kids pick up on your vibe so don’t give it any attention or she’ll grow up to be too precious and be concerned about things that don’t matter. Tell her she’s lucky as she can go there twice! Encourage her to focus on the positives in life. Cup half full. Part time twice.

I got thinking back to my kids at primary school and actually I did remember that one child booked to go to Harry Potter studios. My daughter went. I think about 6 months later another child wanted to do the same (hadn’t gone with the first group) and there was some cross over with the invites. One of those children definitely turned down the invite as they didn’t want to do it again so it does happen. In this case they hadn’t stolen the idea but I could imagine it would have caused upset if they had!

SouthLondonMum22 · 13/03/2025 20:18

Drummergirl1971 · 13/03/2025 20:16

I agree with you 100% & I cannot understand this 75% of Contrary Mary’s

I think people often like to get on a high horse & lecture others, but as another poster said, it would be different if it was happening to them

Ofc you & DD are upset

Or as OP herself has said, people are just different.

Maddy70 · 13/03/2025 20:18

Seriously. No one cares. Party venues are limited. These will be duplicated throughout the year. You're being silly

Drummergirl1971 · 13/03/2025 20:16

I agree with you 100% & I cannot understand this 75% of Contrary Mary’s

I think people often like to get on a high horse & lecture others, but as another poster said, it would be different if it was happening to them

Ofc you & DD are upset

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 13/03/2025 20:15

Parties are for friends to get together and have fun. Not a competition. I would say this is absolutely, 100% a non issue. With kindness, could this be about social media and how it may look to everyone else? Baffled to understand this otherwise.

I can’t remember my kids ever being bothered about anything like this. Kids pick up on your vibe so don’t give it any attention or she’ll grow up to be too precious and be concerned about things that don’t matter. Tell her she’s lucky as she can go there twice! Encourage her to focus on the positives in life. Cup half full. Part time twice.

Shessweetbutapsycho · 13/03/2025 20:13

SoAbsolutelyLonely · 12/03/2025 12:46

Book your daughters earlier then ?

This! 😂

croydon15 · 13/03/2025 20:09

OP l would be annoyed too. I future don't confide in her so that she doesn't copy any of your ideas.

Homer28 · 13/03/2025 20:06

Beautifulweeds · 13/03/2025 20:05

Exactly! Kids don't care, unless parents have made a big deal about.

My DD did care about this without any initial opinions from me.

Possibly kids are all different, just like adults who have differing perspectives on this situation?

OP posts:
Beautifulweeds · 13/03/2025 20:05

Exactly! Kids don't care, unless parents have made a big deal about.

Beautifulweeds · 13/03/2025 20:03

Oh please get over yourself! Since when has there been a need for the first cool party??? It's just about them having fun on their birthday, so they get to go twice, result!

DecafDodger · 13/03/2025 20:01

It is a venue that offers children's birthday party packages. They would not stay in business for too long if they were only allowed to organise one single birthday ever.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 13/03/2025 19:57

Some years ago we had a birthday party with balloons tethered around the garden and bugger me (figuratively speaking) if someone I know didn't do a similar thing a few years later.
I was fuming.
In fact I went round and burst as many as I could before my sister caught me.

SouthLondonMum22 · 13/03/2025 19:53

Dramatic · 13/03/2025 19:46

Honestly I'm questioning the people who say they would be ok with it, it really is just a bit of a shitty thing for the other parent to do. I think in reality most people would be miffed in your situation.

Why are you questioning it? Several people have clearly said that they would be ok with it.

It's a place for parties, the other girl also wants a party there. The end.

Pippyls67 · 13/03/2025 19:49

Prepare to get a roasting on here Op because you used the word ‘cool’. You’ll be accused of wanting to be cool yourself as people won’t read into it that your just trying to empathise with your 10 year old. I feel for you though. It was i the other mum. Not much you can do besides make it clear to all concerned on both days that it was your daughter’s wonderful idea all along and well done her for choosing something people now get to go to twice. That’s a fair enough thing to do and it will preempt any 10 year old sniping from others about her copying. You can say it all very nicely and make it less of a thing then than it needs to be.

Homer28 · 13/03/2025 19:47

Dramatic · 13/03/2025 19:46

Honestly I'm questioning the people who say they would be ok with it, it really is just a bit of a shitty thing for the other parent to do. I think in reality most people would be miffed in your situation.

It doesn’t help my case or your point that your username is ‘dramatic’ lol

but thanks! 🥰🥰🥰

OP posts:
Bitofanchange · 13/03/2025 19:47

Dramatic · 13/03/2025 19:46

Honestly I'm questioning the people who say they would be ok with it, it really is just a bit of a shitty thing for the other parent to do. I think in reality most people would be miffed in your situation.

Nope, I really wouldn’t!