AIBU - Friend has 'stolen' party idea

Um...no one is forcing you to read it are they? What do you care?

Oh my goodness I'm laughing at all the stern lectures you're getting OP!

Of course your DD is going to be upset. She's waited ages and felt like this was her "thing" and was excited to invite her friends.

The only bit I wouldn't have done is saying something to your friend once the deed was done and plan revealed.

Say no more but send out your DD's invites early, as others have said. There's not much else you could do and keep your collective dignity intact 🤣

But I get it. I was the slightly awkward, on the sidelines child who would have been BURSTING to send my invites out for this cool party. And I would have been so gutted if someone beat me to it, especially if they were more confident, more popular, tended to get whatever they wanted easily (not saying your friend's DD is like this but I'm just imagining the type).

How isn't it? If feeling special includes wanting to introduce your friends to something they haven't done before then there is absolutely at least aspects of wanting to have the better party.

All parents and children want that super special feeling on a child's birthday, it just doesn't have to include making it a big deal to be the one to do it first.

A 19 page thread about a kid’s party??? Are people really having a very slow week?

Of course it matters. People "intend" to do all sorts of things, sometimes they end up doing them, sometimes not. An intention is not an exclusivity cause - especially for a children's activity for 7 whole months! Why can't other kids think it looks fun for their own birthday? Making a fuss and turning it into a competition is just engineered drama for the sake of it.

It it isn’t competitiveness that’s the point. It isn’t trying to be better than their friends, it is about doing something that for a couple of hours makes that child feel super special . What is wrong with that?

I understand why a child has that mindset. I don't understand why an adult would encourage the competitiveness of it all though especially with other children who are supposed to be friends and especially after having a very similar moment at the same venue with a different activity the year before.

I don't think OP or her child is awful but I don't think OP's friend or her child is awful either.

I am struggling with why some people are struggling to understand why a child may wish to have a ‘cooler’ party than other children. Any by ‘cooler’ in this situation I translate to mean completely different to any other party that has happened. Some children get lost in amongst their friends. They are quiet, compliant, don’t rock the boat, don’t court the centre of attention. And so for their birthday they think, ‘I’d like to do something really memorable that the others will find exciting. I don’t want the usual trampoline park but I want something no one has done before’ and for that few hours to that child it is the best experience ever.

i can’t understand what makes the child awful for wanting that and the child’s mother awful for facilitating that. I did the exact thing for my daughter for her 16th a few years ago and it would have been completely ruined (an event that wouldn’t have been the same had it been done beforehand - we checked that no one had before booking) and they all had a great time. I would have been really upset if another parent had booked it 2 months before. For my very quiet non- attention seeking daughter, this was a really special few hours with her friends and they still talk about it.

I wasn’t. It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t physically booked. The intent was they were going to book it and had told the friend that. The friend then went - ‘thanks for the info. We would never have thought of this place but now I’ve shown my daughter it and she loves it we are going to book it for a party before your daughters.’

The mother really wants this party herself.

April = Indoor Sky Climb. June = Amazing outdoor activity involving Sky Climb etc.

I'd be thinking Go Ape because I'm that petty. I know the venue has a special place in your heart but I'm sure your DD would adore it if you found something EVEN BETTER at a different venue entirely because that one is so last year...

I think it is CF so it would be satisfying to breezily say "Well, we WERE thinking about it, but then we realised DD had already had parties there so we wanted something different"... 😂🤭

I agree with OP and didn’t think that at all. 😂

If you read back through the thread, most agreeing with you appear to be under the impression this was a booked, planned and paid for party. Had you lead with "was thinking about, but haven't committed to" I suspect some of those posters would have thought differently. Disingenuous and dramatic.

You have largely taken all of the comments, even the OTT ones very well which doesn't happen often on AIBU. 😂

You can place me where you like, but I assure I understand your point. I just think it's absurd.

Yes. Because it's still an overreaction. But you didn't so it's a moot point. Lucky for you, you didn't commit, so competition can commence.

Why do you think she would have no idea? Wasn't it brought it up when you were looking for second opinions? So you obviously hadn't booked at that point. You floated an idea months ago, haven't booked anything, haven't even decided on a date. You haven't a leg to stand on. The other mum probably thought you were still thinking about it - she didn't waste so much time thinking.

To be fair, I agree with you there.

I don't think you're a dickhead, I also don't think the other mum is a dickhead.

I do think you are being unreasonable and that wouldn't change for me even if it was already booked.