AIBU - Friend has 'stolen' party idea

It is annoying but just explain to your DD that the other girl is just as entitled to have her party there and it doesn't mean she can't have hers there also.

I’d be pissed off at this. When I was a kid I had a cousin who copied me constantly. At my 10th birthday party she turned up in the same dress as me after my nan had told her mum about said new dress that I was planning to wear! I still remember her turning up, and my hurt! Yes, At 10 years old!

A bit different I know, but kids feel these things.

YANBU - and in your place I’d be feeling hurt about my so called friend too. A little bit let down, and I’d certainly play my cards closer to my chest with her.

I know girls can be a bit ‘dramatic’ lol - I have a granddaughter now, but Hope your daughter can still have the party she wants. ❤️

Central Scotland but holiday often Lakes / Manchester area

Ah, I should have got that.
So bloody tired. Well I'm glad you found this helpful anyway.

Completely missing point of the thread but I’m really curious to know where this place is - sounds something up my kids street!

Yes, but there's nothing you can do about it, the party is booked. All you can now do is find a different party, or both girls have the same party.

Making a fuss would make you seem a little batshit and would not help your daughter feel better.

As you have acknowledged her feelings you now have to find a practical solution.

Ooooh a dig at grammar.
Bit bellow the belt.
No you're right it's not the best but I've just got in from a busy night shift and this is MN not a bloody essay.
I have plenty of empathy, but I'm also sensible and rational and don't like to dive into the MN froth just because I can.
I'm going to bed now, if you really want to know what unhinged means you can try re reading your posts or just Google it.

I was quoting the OP so she was tagged in the reference.

Explain ‘unhinged’. Perhaps you can’t as grammar clearly isn’t your strong point is it, bless you.

She said many, many times what her issue was. It wasn’t that it was a well-known venue where other kids would likely have gone, like the local leisure centre or village hall. That would clearly be unreasonable. She also said it wouldn’t have upset her as much if another kid had invited ppl bc they had been there too or found out about it. It was the fact her ‘friend’ was told about the place and activity in reference to her daughter having her party there, by HER - she didn’t mention it in passing - she was asking for advice with a clear purpose - and the woman decided to have her own daughter’s party there just a couple of months ahead. Not 6-11 months, 8 weeks.

If you can’t see why that would upset her daughter and irritate the OP, you probably find a lot of scenarios where you’re asked to extend empathy challenging don’t you.

I understand why you feel like you do but I think you have to use this as an opportunity to teach your daughter a bit of emotional resilience here. If she starts going on that it was her party idea in the first place, no one will much care and she will make herself look silly.

I think you also need to have a plan B for your daughter's party in June as if the party in April doesn't go as well as it might, the potential invitees might not want to go again. The drive there is quite long, April weather can be pretty wet and miserable, you just need one person to hurt themselves and cry to go home, and it can make a fun day out turn into one where the end can't come soon enough so leave it where it is with your friend, and plan for something else. You've got a bit of time to find something equally appealing.

Oh, hell no.

What was me ?

People do get carried away about silly things on this site, for sure. And once they've nailed their colours to the mast they feel they have to double down and it gets increasingly overwrought.

Completely agree about the ridiculous notion of the best party competition.
It's a bit embarrassing tbh but typical mn froth.

I'm with you OP.

All the parents in here saying they know better, when your daughter herself has said 'this is the situation, I know from experience this is how my friends will react', and the parents would ignore that.

Yep, to an extent.

Except, I am not in the team friend camp, I do think it was a bit of a shitty thing to do, but I wouldn't get hysterical about it the way some on the thread are.

And for absolutely certain this notion that the OP must do something equally cool to trump the other mother is kind of nuts.

They are kids, they will have forgotten all about this shortly and the next big thing will come along.

No matter what anyone thinks, there is literally nothing the OP can do about it. Nothing at all. Except embarrass herself and her daughter, if she makes a thing out of it.

It was you wasn't it?

It's really not, I think the majority of people simply wouldn't care.
Which has been reflected in this thread.
People do have different boundaries, perspectives etc.
You, the op and some others on this thread would think that this is a really shitty thing to do but I would equally think oh god what an overreaction, she's highly strung, neurotic, a bloody nightmare etc.
Maybe there's no right or wrong but different ways of thinking.
But I'm firmly in the team friend camp.

I think you meant to quote me.
You sound unhinged you really do.ive never know of a stranger getting so worked up over someone else's overreaction.

Wow.

That's really unreasonable of her! A friend wouldnt do that. Surely she must know your daughter can't have the same party now?

You've got to do something for your daughter's birthday that's even better/more cool now!

Don't worry OP, in the real world you're completely valid. Only in MN world are you wrong to feel this way.

Bit annoying and a bit shitty of her, but nothing you can do about it. Might as well let the kids enjoy the same party twice, go with what your daughter wants, not what you think is coolest.