AIBU - Friend has 'stolen' party idea

I would be so annoyed! Could you do a sleepover after? Elaborate party bags something to make it a bit extra if you know what I mean

I have a ten year old.

If it's worth doing, it's worth doing twice.

I get you, your friend clearly did copy which is always a bit annoying and of course 10 year olds do get worked up about stuff that's trivial in the scheme of things like who has the best party.

I think you'll need to encourage her to get over it though (and step 1 of this is getting over it yourself), there was always a fair chance someone else would think of the same idea (GoApe etc is quite popular round here anyway), that's the trouble with a June birthday, and it's not that unusual or original since she already had one party at the same venue. If she really wants something cool and different she's got a good few months to get her thinking cap on about another choice or she can absolutely do the same thing as the friend, sod what everyone else in the class thinks (surely in a class of 30 there'll have been some duplicate parties by June, and she can always point to the fact that she was the first in the class to ever have a party at AdventureWorld so she's the coolest) - if this is the first time she's ever had the piss taken by classmates for some totally arbitrary and unreasonable reason then she's done well, it's a rite of passage IMO.

I would have been annoyed. Just make yours better. Have a theme. Add an extra activity on the way. You can learn from anything that goes wrong in the first one.
these birthday parties are such a big deal at that age.

I think a lot of people here do NOT have a 10 year old.

10 is when shit gets real. 10 is when parties have fewer kids but better activities - we have been to escape rooms, VR adventures, go ape type places, swimming pools, ice skating, chocolate making... bowling is what you do when you have no other ideas.

yes my 10 year old chose carefully her party to be something none of her close friends had done. yes it's cool to do something twice (like rock climbing) but you suddenly don't want 5 escape rooms in close succession...

the OP was respectful to check if the other kids would be ok with it (like we did check if the escape room we chose wasn't too scary) and her daughter's party got ruined...

to a lot of commenters, being 10 is hard enough - pre-pubescent girls have tons of feelings cropping up... why make it harder?

Schadenfreude much?

YABU.... my ten year old was invited to six of her classmates 10th birthday parties. 5 of those 6 parties were at the same inflatable trampoline park. Having the "cool" party at 10 is not a thing, they simply want a fun party with a friend.

It sounds like your nose is more out of joint about this than your child's is.

In theory, YABU, you don't own the rights to the party.
In the real world? I'd be so pissed off!!!

I do have a tendency to catastrophise things and this would be a much bigger deal in my head than it is in reality though. So yeah I'd be annoyed. Try not to let it spoil your daughter's enjoyment though.

I get why you’re upset about this. I think some people here must have children who aren’t surrounded by peers who do make a big deal out of hosting the exciting party. My son’s primary school class was like this, and honestly the one upmanship as each party rolled round was ridiculous. I gave my son one party, paid a fortune for it. I never did it again. I just made myself the enemy, refused to do parties and as he’s got older he’s thankful that I gave him an excuse to step out of the competitive nature of it all.
I let him have a couple of friends and went to the cinema or the beach/arcades.

There's a very good chance that the same thing would've happened anyway since the children are getting older and obviously growing out of the soft play/bouncy castle kind of parties. You won't be the only parent looking for new ideas.

Either have the same party which will still be fun or pick somewhere else. I wouldn't be petty and rush to send out the invites first.

I'd be fuming too OP - what a bitch the other mum is. Sadly, there's sod all you can do about it except never, ever tell that mum anything again. And maybe try and find an even cooler party idea for DD?

Not surprised you're getting your arse handed to you here though - MN is populated with perfect people/androids who never feel any complex human emotions like the rest of us.

What an absolute load of old guff! Why are you encouraging a 10 year old to care about having a ‘cool’ party ??

Life is far too short to care about stuff like this ! Choose a party your DD would like , have the party, job done!

It's a bit cheeky, but you are massively overreacting. It's a child's party at a place you had a party at last year. It's hardly unique idea of the century. They get to go twice now. Don't make it into a bigger deal than it needs to be.

YANBU. I can see that she may have taken your DD's idea innocently as it may not bother her DD if she'd been the second one. BUT once you'd pointed out that your DD isn't happy about it, she should have apologised and changed it. Not a good friend at all.

You're being a princess about it. If you wanted it as the only party there, don't tell anyone else in advance.

Every parent of each age group is scratching around looking for something age-appripriate and fun to do for their child's party. If you say "so and so does parties" you may well find someone books it.

It doesn't matter AT ALL. The children will be as excited to do it for the second party as the first. I went to 4 laser zone parties in 6 months and the kids were just as giddy at each! Same with the pool parties with giant inflatables and the Make Your Own pizza parties at Pizza Express.

No one "owns" party ideas and anyone can book one. If your daughter's friend heard about it from her mum and said "can we do that for mine?" I can't imagine a parent saying "no, you have to wait another 8 weeks for OP's daughter's party because she's bagsied it."

When I was 10 and my DC were 10 most party places were used multiple times by different people. I can't remember whether we did it first, or others did it first or what. No one said anything beyond "been there. Great to go again".

I think you're overthinking it.

Her dad was concerned that in theory its a brilliant day out but that people may be afraid of the heights/parents may be hesitant and it could not be as exciting as shes thinks

Dad could be right. I think your friend has been a bit cheeky but the venue is available to anyone to book.
However, you could think of the friend's party as being a dry run for yours. Maybe Dad's concerns are valid and the party won't be that exciting, kids are scared and so on. Then you can cancel yours and do something else but if it's a success then the children will be really excited to go again and you could add some other element to yours to make it a bit different.

You can't tell people what party they can or can't book.

If it's a great activity then the kids will be happy to do it twice. I'm assuming the guest lists won't be identical anyway so only some will be invited to both.

If it really bothers your daughter she'll need to switch to another fun option. I'd recommend making light of it and saying to her how lucky some children are to get to do 2 parties there and what a great choice she made picking that activity as it's obviously very popular.

Kids of that age just like going to parties. I really doubt any if them are giving this level of thought to the venues and activities.

I'm sure everyone will just have fun.

I get why your DD is upset over it but use it as a chance to see if the kids would really enjoy it or if they would be scared and what bits they liked more. Saves you wasting your money on a party idea that the kids might not enjoy.

She's a shady bitch. I can see why you're annoyed. Maybe think of something even better? Or just accept that all the kids will have been before and think of the positives of that. More confidence etc. They will probably enjoy it more.

I think that’s really cheeky fucker territory. I’d lay it on the line for the other mum and say “Please don’t do this, DD will be very upset and won’t want to have the party if your daughter uses her idea and has it first”.

If they go ahead after that, they’re not nice people.

I do recall how much of a big deal this would have been to my DC at 10, but as adults we should understand that it isn’t really a big deal and appreciate that small (in the great scheme of things) disappointments help to build resilience, which is lacking in a lot of young people now.

Haven’t read all the replies so sorry if this has already been covered. Why not suggest a joint party for the girls, you could even book two activities at the centre and make a really big occasion of it.

Surprised at responses on here, I think your friend is in the wrong! Totally out of order for her to steal idea 8 weeks before yours! Okay if she did it after

I don't think YABU - I'd be miffed too, she's out of order doing that.

But everyone here will tell you how U you are! None of my mum friends wouldve done something like this without checking first - she's a bitch.