AIBU - Friend has 'stolen' party idea

In the interests of “research” I asked my two (ages 12 and 13) and they both said they would be pretty annoyed, and would expect that their friends would say they had copied the your child. So as an adult I wouldn’t be particularly bothered but it seems to be a concern for kids. My DS12 said “well you’re not looking at it as a child who has a good idea for their birthday, you’re thinking about it as a mum”. Which is fair enough.

Is she a friend of she steals your party idea?

I think what is "cool" is to just accept it and then think how lucky the kids are to get two trips in this year.

You have already had a birthday party there once before so I'm surprised that no one else has thought of it yet.

I think it's brilliant to be the second and not toe ginnypig. The kids who really hate the activity won't come again and you won't be stuck with several sulking or terrified children.

Its not a bog standard roller skate or sleepover party though.

I actually love things like aerial climbing but I wouldn't want to do the same course twice in 2/3 months. The same applies to lots of other things I enjoy - theme parks, spas, etc - as much as I like them I wouldn't be doing them multiple times within a few months.

So yeah, I can imagine that 10 year olds at best wouldn't be anywhere near as excited about doing a "big" activity for the second time as they would have the very first time, and at worst wouldn't be bothered about going at all, particularly the ones that didn't love it the first time.

I wouldn't.

My goal would be for my child and their friends to have fun and 2 trips to Alton towers within 8 weeks like OP's gap between parties would still without a doubt be fun.

Not to mention I wouldn't be encouraging my child to have the 'coolest, super special, best' birthday to compete with her friends. They are supposed to be friends.

Of course yabu what a ridiculous thing to create drama over. We've been to multiple parties at the same venue in a year no one thinks its copying, it's just a bloody kids party fgs!

Our 10yo chose his party venue because he loves it there, even though he's already been to a party there. The idea of a 10yo choosing a party because they want the 'cool' party sounds like it's about you. If that's legitimately what your child cares about then you've raised a very entitled child

It was too hard to understand???? Okayyyyyyyy....🙄

I will spell it out

10 year olds just want to have fun and don't chastise each other for having the same kind of party as another person. Do you think that once a child has a "roller skating" party then that is it - NO ONE else can ever have one for fear of being "chastised" by their friends?? Of course not.

Your OTT comments are ridiculous.

Why do you have to be the first to do something - something that is publicly available? My son was at football parties every other weekend when he was at primary school because they loved them - no one was complaining they had been to one the week before.

OP is your DDs party booked yet?
Or is this all based on vague chit chat from weeks ago, about a birthday thats still months away?

yanbu. I can see why you are irritated by it.

YANBU OP, this was sneaky of her.

I would be annoyed - who does that?! Not a friend anyway. It’s kinda the principle of it and, despite it seeming ridiculous, I would never think of that parent in the same way again and would distance myself from them in a passive aggressive non obvious that that was why way 😆

Yabu in that you don’t own or control a venue or party choices of other parents. But she’s a cow for obviously stealing your idea and not understanding why you may feel a bit annoyed. She’s not a proper friend.

It is a weird thing to do and would annoy me. However, my daughter went to a similar party at that age and when I went to pick her up 3 out of 7 of them were sat on the grass waiting because they had got too scared. 75mins travel there and back to do something that some might be frightened by isn’t a great party. I would let the other girl do this one and think of something different for your daughter.

I knew posters would be telling you that you shouldn't feel upset but I would definitely be annoyed in this situation. Okay, You don't own the idea but the other mum knew what she was doing when she decided to use it before you got the chance to.

I changed my vote because you seem so reasonable and I hate that you apologised on the first page and many people don't read OP updates, but just post to see their own opinions replicated many times 😕.

If no one else has a party there they might go out of business and then you won’t be able to have a party there 🤣

It’s annoying, sure, but in my dc’s class literally 80% of them have their party at the same venue.

Sure but if everyone went trampolining for their parties and you were planning on taking child and 10 friends to Alton towers for something different and super special that your child was really excited about and then another child’s mum got wind and then booked for those same children to go to Alton towers a few weeks before, would you really not be at all bothered? I know I would be.

Same - at 10 years old I completely understand they don’t want to look like they’re copying someone else’s idea.. Tbh it would annoy me in my 30s. It was really shitty of the other mum. I would forget waiting until your daughter’s bday and take her and a couple of close friends to do it on an upcoming weekend just because. But then I’m petty like that.

Oh dear Amanda. Is little Georgie devastated? Perhaps you can get one over on the other Mum for stealing your idea and go big with the party bags. Perhaps stick a scented candle from Hygge Tygge in there, that will really show them!