Would you have hung up on me

You were in the wrong. Blocking your number is her making sure she never had to hear from you again. It's deliberately preventing contact.

Instead of accepting that and respecting her boundaries, you basically tricked her into accepting a call from you. Of course she hung up - she blocked you precisely because she doesn't wish to be in contact.

We can't know the ins and outs of the friendship breakdown. I know it hurts very much, and I sympathise. But the way to handle it is definitely not to try and force contact on someone.

Especially when you asre doing it because you feel needy and unwell and want her around to meet your emotional needs.

Harassment by its very nature is prolonged, insistent attempts to contact and bother someone m. She called her once. It may have been unwise but it wasn't harassment.

Try to change the narrative in your head to "That was the last opportunity I gave friend to talk to me and she hung up on me. I don't have space in my head or time in my life to waste on wondering why she would do this. So I'm done here. I don't need people in my life who block me and ignore me and so am making the choice to forgot her." Because you really need to take back control rather than have your peace of mind relying on her willingness to engage with you. You can't control that, so control what you do in response. Be strong. Put her out of your head and start thinking of the other people in your life.

It’s really tough OP and I am sorry you are hurting.

But… you called because maybe once again you wanted her to support you. If you act needy, or come across as needy (even if you didn’t mean to) it becomes exhausting. If you push your need for contact it becomes worse.

I hope you are feeling less ill.

Never more vulnerable than when relying on someone who isn’t there for you for support. So keep yourself strong.

Oh God OP read that but imagine it was written by a man who'd been dumped and blocked by a woman he was seeing. 'If she picked up she might regret blocking me' is really controlling. Why did you decide you know better than her what she really wants?

You don't know why she did it but you need to respect that she did it. She's allowed to block you, no matter if you understand it or not and no matter how unreasonable she might be by doing it.

Kindly, consider some counselling to help you make sense of how you feel and help you move forward because you can't force this woman to want to talk to you or to explain herself to you.

She doesn’t want to talk it over because there’s nothing you can do to change her mind.

Many people wouldn’t be able to come out and say why they want the friendship to end. They don’t want to hurt the other person with the truth or face the prospect of the other person offering to change their behaviour to be less annoying. Say she finds you too intense.(I don’t know you or her so this is a random example) You cry because it’s hard to hear and offer to keep things light. She has to say no again because she’s made her mind up and would rather end the friendship without having to hurt your feelings with the truth. Maybe you’d find the truth better than suddenly being phased out but she would have never given you the chance to “make amends” so you’d be left in a different kind of limbo. People who give a reason also tend to soften the truth so you’d end up wondering what the actual truth was which is a spiral you don’t want to be in.

As the person who was “dumped”, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you said or did something wrong and it will take you time and effort to get out of that loop. The friendship changed for her and you’re no longer compatible - there’s nothing that you could have said or done differently to save it. She decided that it was over as is her right. It’s sad but move onto people who care about you.

If you're feeling down you should seek some kind of professional help or find a willingly supportive community, online or in-person. This ex-friend was the worst person to choose.

You sound quite intense and needy of her and I think that’s likely the reason she pulled so far away from you. For you to have no contact in all these months and essentially try to trick her (calling her from a withheld number) into communication you know she doesn’t want (as you are blocked) is definitely harassment.

You also did this because you need comfort. No consideration for how this may upset her or that she may have her own things going on in her life. Leave this person alone and move on.

Just like any other relationship, she can end it for any reason or no reason. You're not entitled to an answer or even her kindness. I'm sorry that hurts, but she has made her position clear; she wants you to leave her alone.

I've never blocked a long term friend or partner so I've never been in this situation. But if for some reason I'd felt it necessary to block someone, I wouldn't appreciate them trying to call me from a withheld number.

Whether her reasons are fair or not, she's made her preferences clear. And if her reasons aren't fair, better to move on to someone who treats you well.

I probably would have heard you out - but it depends on why this all happened. There are some people who have done me wrong in the past who I would just hang up on.

That said, no one is obliged to talk to you, even if I might have heard you out, personally. I'm quite patient - others aren't. You can't do anything to change someone else's behaviour. It's best to accept other people's behaviour for good and bad and not try to find ways to judge ourselves based on how others treat us.

Sometimes when things like this happen we will never understand. You can waste a lot of time and energy ruminating over it or try and accept that what you did have has gone, they no longer want contact fir reasons you might never know and move forward with your own life. She may not be making her reasons clear but certainly has made her boundaries clear and does not want contact.

I almost never post here but coming on to say: I have been there and it totally blows. You (I) go from really not knowing what you've done wrong to assuming that everything you have ever said or done is beyond the pale. I know, sister (I assume!) I know.

I don't think I will ever forget it (it's been 20 years. .) But I am well over it and the following little mantra has helped...

Better a million times to be on the receiving end of that kind of shit than dishing it out. I NEVER dish it out...I can control that but I can't control someone else's bullshit shenanigans.

Walk away with your head held high!

❤

I think it might be useful to say in your head

“I I don’t know why xx let me go, but I am a good person and have lots of love to give”

Every time you get a negative thought about it tell yourself about it. And really practise it.

look forwards. Not backwards.

You don’t have to understand and you probably never will - the focus is to move on now. Tough but you can do it.

It is hard when a friendship ends in this way. But you do need to let it go now, for your own peace.

Why did you call her on a withheld number?

If you've been blocked for months, you don't call up this person for support and comfort. You need to move past her. She is no longer in your life.

Let it go - why do you still want to be friends with someone who wants nothing to do with you? Find some pride and walk the other way.