To ask for advice on how to minimise your chances of becoming a victim of bullying ?

No that’s not true. It is possible to have a hierarchical society without bullying and for there to be dominant and less dominant participants. Bullying is something different and is unhealthy.

In my experience assertiveness is key. Bullies like to test boundaries so the first time they say or do something mean you need to pull them up on it. If you let it go they get braver.

I was in a 'friendship' group where one of the dominant women liked to make sarcastic put downs. I didn't put her in her place and it escalated to several others joining in and became so unpleasant every time I saw them I left the group.

In hindsight I wished I had pulled her up on it but I was in a vulnerable bad place at the time. It really affected my self esteem for a long time.

I bumped into her several years later and she was all over me to meet up again. Perhaps the group had turned on her too? No thanks.

This is really true. My oldest gets bullied sometimes because she is smart, good at sports and quite popular. She will play with lots of different people, but sometimes gets abuse from the 'friends' she isn't playing with for 'rejecting them', sometimes it can get quite nasty. I have taught her never to be unkind first and never to start anything, but to always defend herself, and that if she gets into trouble for this then I will have her back.

Bullies are nearly always lacking in something, usually self confidence, or ability, and they try to cover this up/make themselves feel better by trying to make others feel worse. So I explain to her that what the bullies say to her is a reflection on themselves rather than a reflection on her, and she has learnt to fake a 'I don't give a f**k' attitude, that isn't how she feels as she takes everything to heart, but it does help I think.

My youngest genuinely has an 'I don't give a f**k" attitude, and she had never been bullied. The bullies want to gain something- power, a reaction, popularity. If they gain nothing they move on.

I also think people see quietness in people as a weakness. When they get push back from the person who is quiet they get a shock .

Some people have never been told no and have been used to getting their own way so it comes as a shock when they are told no .

I think being part of a "pack" helps.
I was badly bullied at Primary when my "pack" started doing things I didn't like so distanced myself, I then became the target.
At Secondary I was very much Queen Bee (sorry) and while I didn't ever get involved in bullying my group were all too close for anyone to be able to pick any of us off.
DD never found her tribe at Secondary and was bullied but DS has a very strong group and nobody has ever tried to target one of them because as a teacher once said to me "anyone who takes one of them on takes all of them on". they are a really nice group who have absorbed some boys who were isolated and teachers often encourage someone who is being bullied in their direction. There is one boy who was targetted quite a lot and while Ds isn't actually very keen on him he allows the boy to hang around on the edges of the group as it does apparently give him some protection.

Minimise your chance of being bullied by never interacting with another human.

Maximise your chance of being bullied by being in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong hair colour/texture, skin colour, height, weight, eyesight, disability, ability, financial status, class, family, address, academic ability, sporting prowess, coordination, accent, name, age, sex, sexual preference, job title, fashion sense..... the list goes on!

I do think perhaps self esteem is the key. Although I can’t talk after being relentlessly bullied by one nasty girl for years in high school (very targeted)
Bullied in a work place in the same manner and have had three abusive relationships as a grown up to varying degrees. I am very distrustful of people nowadays

This!
My daughter was bullied at secondary school. She didn't have many friends and a group of girls drew her in then proceeded to bully her. It changed her as a person.

For children? Not popular but if you stand up to the first bully (hitting back if needed) they tend to leave you alone after that.

As adult it's much less easy!

I didn’t want to bring up the 🤛 punch..

But yes, I have seen bullies stopped in their tracks when the “Victim” retaliated physically.

Sometimes it’s all bullies understand.

I agree that someone “a bit unsure” is more likely to be targeted.

It makes me think of someone lacking in confidence, a quiet voice, poor eye contact, a people pleaser, nervousness etc. Obviously those are general images in my head but I can see why someone who fits that description would find themselves a target.

I think we all like to believe that childhood is where bullying stops. That we all grow up and the bullies are remorseful while the bullied are empowered and strong, but it doesn’t really work like that. Adult bullies are the same ones who did it as kids, and I bet a lot of people bullied at work also got it at school.

As for how to avoid it, I think teaching children young how to be strong (mentally and physically), resilient and helping them gain good self esteem might reduce chances of being a target. And make sure they’ve got a good, solid punch on them. 😉

There will always be bullies in society unfortunately-
It’s how humans as a species are.

Even animals bully each other ( Dogs, horses) to establish dominance.

I think bullies can also target out of jealousy. I can think of several instances in my workplace where the target was confident, very capable, well liked and were relentlessly targeted by inadequate people who couldn't bear to see them do well.

<bitter voice of experience>