Shamed by HV for not exposing DD to a second language

That's crazy.

Unless at least one parent speaks the second language, there's no point.

@Skedaddledaway im bilingual as in French is my mother tongue. I spoke French the dcs and it was hard work. Teaching a child another language isn’t easy. And even though I’m not questioning your grammar etc.. I’m pretty sure your accent will show you’re British first. Which imo defeats the object.

Now I’d love to know. Are you in Britain?
Because if you are, then the ‘dint worry you’ll go to nursery soon’ is just …. Bonkers. They’re not going to teach your dc to speak another language there!

If you live in a multicultural area then there will be children who don't speak English at all and she is telling them the same thing - to learn another language namely English. This is so she can be seen as treating all children and families equally.

I had a couple of awful visits from health visitors and looking back I should have asked to leave.

I also know a girl who is a health visitor and she is as mad as a box of frogs. She is very outspoken, and loud and I would hate to meet her as a health visitor. I would take zero notice of anything she said

Where do you live? I'm all for children learning a second/third language but it would have to be of some benefit - there's little point in them learning French if their friends or community are speaking Polish or Urdu or Mandarin!
It was a bizarre thing for the health visitor to say without them giving some context. As someone else said, just nod and smile!

She's talking absolute 💩

My friend spoke in her native language to their child while at home .However they never spoke a word ! I would not worry .Tell HV you dont feel able to do this ATM and leave it like that

You must live in quite a privileged area if this would be a concern to a HV. Normally they are worried about actual issues - development, hearing, speech, nutrition, abuse etc.

@Skedaddledaway my dear girl, wtf are you doing entertaining this lunatic?

your child is now 1yo, just stop going to the HV and IF anyone says anything TELL THEM that you found her rude, ridiculously judgemental, ill informed and irrelevant (talking bottles/cows milk when you’ve literally just told her you’re breastfeeding)

you don’t have to do this, you really don’t. As long as the vaccinations are up to date, you’re fine.

if I were you I would have summoned my very best French for Fuck off and when you get there, fuck off some more

I speak Portuguese fluently. My ds dad used to get abusive and nasty if I spoke Portuguese, or if anyone around me did. Ok so I left him, but but when I found classes for DS to attend as a young child, he just didn’t take to languages in the same way I do. It’s not his thing. He’s more musical than I am.

new mums get bullied by people like your HV, just stop going. It’s not mandatory.

The HV is being an idiot. Ignore her.

Perfect, another HV bashing thread!

She's an utter loon.

Best ignored

Ask the H V to come round and demonstrate how to introduce another language maybe The most obscure you can think of!!

This is rubbish. As a parent children should only be exposed to the mother tongue of their parents, or if you were French, always speak French and if your husband is English, he always speaks English.
I live in a very multicultural city too and wasn't going to start teaching my 1 year old another random language.
Ignore the health visitor, they are so often full of shit!

DH got his first job after university. We bought an old, small, cottage in a new town and were in the middle of having two rooms knocked together when HV paid her first visit.

Our builder was not very tidy; HV found me, 8month old, and two year old all scrabbling around in a mess of bricks plaster and Accro supports. She was obviously and unsurprisingly appalled, I could feel SS beckoning.

Then she asked what my DH did. Teacher at local top grammar school.
Audible sigh of relief. Clearly we were ‘bohemian’ rather than neglectful.

She went away perfectly happy, we never saw her again. Boys survived.

This 100%. It is reprehensible that HV’s, an unsolicited universal service are allowed to share anything other than robust advice with a basis in evidenced research to new mothers who are often at their most vulnerable and desperate for a sensible steer in the right direction to build confidence in their mothering.

I have the same level of French as you and didn't speak it to my children as I didn't want to have to be thinking of what I was saying all the time, I wanted to speak in my own language

The HV sounds ridiculous.

This.
You can’t shame a mother for speaking her mother tongue with her child.
Also it is normal to have one language in the UK.
I speak more than one language, my children are bilingual. BUT I only speak English with my kids as that is my mother tongue. Living several years in France doesn’t cut it.

Some people, HVs or otherwise, know how to poke the mum guilt area, a particularly sensitive spot in new mothers who are already regretting having deprived their baby of enough womb-time listening to Bach and chanted times tables.

New mothers need reassurance not unsolicited guilt-tripping. Nobody tells a cat they have to miaow in different languages or they are short-changing their kittens.

It doesn’t sound like she ‘shamed’ you.

How about you listen to the radio/tv/podcasts in French? It will help you feeling less rusty and will expose her too. We played lots of french nursery rhymes and when she was a bit older we listen to "kids" stuff - Kids United were a big thing back then, but she discovered lots of other artists too via spotify... Doing things in french for you will expose her indirectly and will take the load off you too.

I haven’t RTFT, so apologies if things have moved on, but I just wanted to say this:

I am a multilingualism researcher focusing on families with preschool aged children. I am a huge proponent of multilingualism.

Your HV has given you very very strange information / advice. Absolute best practice for all concerned is to primarily use your first language (mother tongue) with your child.

You could introduce the concept of other languages with a much older preschooler just for fun, but you should absolutely not think that you should be using a language that is not one of your own first languages with your child.

Do not feel guilty, ignore the very poor advice you’ve been given by the HV.