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Original poster

Shamed by HV for not exposing DD to a second language

358 replies

Skedaddledaway · 12/03/2025 07:21

I had DDs 12 months appointment yesterday. This time was better than previous times as she only managed to say something vaguely offensive 3 times during the 10 minute appointment.

However, there was one comment she made that filled me up with 'mum guilt' about not exposing DD to a second language. I live in a very multicultural area where most children are being brought learning 2 or 3 languages so seeing a child just speaking English is probably less common.

I speak good french (lived and worked in France for several years) but haven't used french for at least 4 years so am rusty! Speaking french with DD didn't feel natural compared to using my mother tongue. Now I am questioning whether that was a poor decision.

As a single mum I have a lot on my plate but I am thinking of starting to expose DD to some french.
My thoughts were:

  • Turning her doll into a francophone so when ever we play with it use french.
  • incorporating some simple everyday phrases into our daily routine
  • reading books in french in the morning during breakfast
  • listening to some nursery rhymes in french

Does this approach sound reasonable?

OP posts:
Deerrobin · 12/03/2025 07:28

What did the HV actually say?

OtterlyMad · 12/03/2025 07:27

This is madness. Obviously it’s fantastic when children have the opportunity to be bilingual or even trilingual but that’s when one or both of the parents are non-native English speakers so they are just speaking in their mother tongue and the child picks it up in a completely organic way - which is exactly what you’re doing for your child!

Singing a few nursery rhymes and turning her doll into francophone mode might help her to learn the odd word/phrase but it’s not going to make her bilingual, sorry OP.

Mrsgreen100 · 12/03/2025 07:27

Really depends on where you live

JustMarriedBecca · 12/03/2025 07:26

Oh Good Grief. Unless you speak french at home you are better to avoid.

HV are to be ignored.

We speak different languages but not in a home context (English is our mother tongue). Both kids have a flair for languages but that's come from being at school and going on holiday and doing things like Duolingo.

Speak English unless you are committed to a wholly immersive second language lifestyle at home.

There are posts from multi lingual households that say the same with references to written journals on languages on the gifted and talented board.

CaptainFuture · 12/03/2025 07:26

Cnidarian · 12/03/2025 07:25

This isn't a thing.

Definitely not, and bizarre if so.

RobinHeartella · 12/03/2025 07:25

Obviously yanbu to read some French to your child, but yabu to give the silly hv's opinion any headspace.

You say you have a lot on your plate - this is really not worth you worrying about. Plenty of time to introduce languages - there's arguments for starting at age 4 or even 11.

Cnidarian · 12/03/2025 07:25

This isn't a thing.

ButterCrackers · 12/03/2025 07:24

What languages do you speak as your mother tongue? If you only speak one language then I don’t see how a rusty second language is going to help tbh. What about a babysitter who speaks another language? What will be spoken at childcare and school?