Shamed by HV for not exposing DD to a second language

If the HV really did say what you claim, it warrants a complaint.

When DS1 was born the Chair of the HV Association was published in "The Times" as saying "the role of the health visitor is to teach ignorant mothers the three C's: Cooking, Cleaning and Communication. My HV had already proven herself incapable of sentient communication. I never saw them again because I didn't feel they had anything helpful to offer.

The one helpful nugget was that I was so incensed by the patronising approach that I read my baby the Iliad and the Odyssey and nurtured an interest in the tales. He brought me home a First in Classics from Oxford.

Sadly too many HVs chat sh1t.

How does she know you’re bilingual- are you bilingual??

We would always advise that parents use the language they know best at home, unless they are fully fluent.

*not a HV

If you have the ability to expose your child to more than one language then it is a shame it isn't done. I wonder why foreign languages aren't taught from reception as little ones are like sponges. They pick things up so quickly. My children had a Spanish TA and my son especially picked up a lot and when he took it at GCSE level he got a 9. He travels a lot for work and pleasure and it's been a great extra that he can speak to locals as he picks up languages so easily.

You don’t have to see them
you sure as hell don’t have to listen to their batshit ideas
and unless your HV happens to also be a Professor of Linguistics in Early Years Education, id put this firmly in the ignorant and crazy bucket
I’d also conduct my entire next HV meeting in French as it’s so important for DDs development, but I’m petty like that

Sounds like something else that never happened tbh

I had the opposite happen to me - health care authorities told me that my 3 year old child was "backwards" and "will not be ready for school" as we were trying to make them bilingual (one parent is ESOL). We freaked out and abandoned the second language, speaking to them exclusively in English. They now don't speak the parent's other language, which is a shame.

I think OP is looking for comments like @LastNightMyPJsSavedMyLife has just made and comments about multi cultural areas in general

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I'd learn to say "fuck off" in numerous different languages and really show off your red/quadlingual abilities to that HV.

She should be making sure the other cultures in your area speak English.

Really? What’s your first language OP? Are you in the UK? If so where? How many languages does your HV speak?

Curious

This is hilarious. Reminds me of the time I took my child to a HV check appointment when she was about 12 months old. The HV asked "what's her best friend's name?". I chuckled and said "she doesn't have a best friend because she's 1." She looked very serious and said " well most 1 year olds do have a best friend- what a shame!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

That’s ridiculous. Shamed for not teaching a second language when both parents native tongue is the same. My ex speaks Hindu, that’s his mother tongue though he only speaks it to his mother as he speaks English to his siblings and nieces and nephews. He never taught it to our kids, his choice. They certainly haven’t been disadvantaged. Both very high achievers, not interested in languages. I think you’d be mad to listen to her ridiculous comment.

Bloody hell! I would have told her in no uncertain terms that my child was loved and cared for and her education was none of her business and to keep her nose out.

What a terrible thing to say... just ignore the HV and don't go again.

I'd lodge a complaint against this HV. This is simply ridiculous nonsense.

It is totally bizarre to expect you to speak another language when you are not bilingual and you don't have another language being used in your household.
This is another stress chore you don't need in your life. I'm fluent in another language and speak it regularly but I still don't speak it to my kids. It would just be odd

Did she really?

I hope you asked what 5 language's her children are fluent in.
I'd of started asking full details - and start taking notes on how she achieved it.

Although I had one HV with no kids telling me I was doing something wrong - I'd managed to keep myself and 2 other babies alive by this point 😂 just ignore.

I am a crap mum by her standard, although my parents also failed as I was never taught a second language. I'm English only ever spoken English, DP has Scottish heritage - his Scottish father doesn't speak Scottish or Irish - i think his parents failed him! By your HVs standards not parents standards.

Disagree. HV’s should not be giving their personal opinion unless asked. It should be professional advice. It’s actually part of their NMC code of conduct so she is skating on very thin ice. It absolutely is shaming in the way that she said it and if she criticises others new mums parenting in that manner then it could destroy someone already risk of post partum depression. HV’s need to be very careful how they phrase things.

Wtf! Unless you’re bilingual yourself (eg a French person living in the UK) or a bilingual household (eg your husband is French) then there’s no need to expose your child to another language, that’s not the norm for monolingual UK households.

She's plucked that out of her arse.

It's known that children can have a (mild) speech delay if you try to introduce too many languages at once. I've never known a family teach more than 3 at once.

I was brought up bilingual and resolutely refused to respond in the second language, my whole childhood. I got a GCSE in it later but that's it, I can barely speak it now.

We're you really shamed or was it projecting because you feel guilty?

Don't worry, she'd be telling you off for not teaching your kid good enough English if you did speak a different language at home (bitter experience)

Step 1. Make complaint about batshit HV.

Step 2. Speak to your child in your own language like 99% of other parents do.

Step 3. That's all the steps.

Your HV is wrong. It's recommended that native speakers speak their language to babies if that fits their home life and routine.

If you have good French, by all means play games with your child in French and have fun introducing it later if you like. My mother did this when we were primary school age and that was great. But your child won't learn to be a French speaker from artificial (and respectfully, unless you are really unusual), flawed conversations with a non native speaker.

The nursery comment makes it clear she's not a sensible person. This isn't a real issue. Get on with your life and enjoying your baby and remember that every profession has its share of cranks.

Your HV sounds really fucking stupid. Either ignore her or put in a complaint about her, if that’s what she really said. She’s one of the types who push women into PND.

It’s also very unfair to say this to a single mother, as the vast majority of families with bilingual children will do that because they have two parents who speak different first languages!

Is this your health visitor suggesting this?

Please fuck off. (Health visitor,not you). Jesus.