Shamed by HV for not exposing DD to a second language

French is her second language, not one she 'hardly knows'. Read the OP's posts before criticising.

Same here, the gp was a bit annoying though. Informed me that the practice had decided it was best I didn't have any more children because I'd had pre eclampsia. HV said he was a nutter and that there was no chance this a true statement as well as being none of his business.

I live in a multicultural city with 2 unis and lots of families where for one or more parent English isn't their first language. My child is 19, nobody I knew who spoke English as their first language introduced another language as early as 12 months and none adopted the speak to them only in a non mother tongue approach. Also, this is nothing to do with an HV - not their job and they are not qualified to offer advice like this

I think giving your child exposure to even a non fluent language is good for them. We're Welsh and our children are in Welsh schools, which ask us explicitly to do as much as we can in Welsh at home, even if we make mistakes.

I've found that my children are great at picking up other languages, we spend time in France and they're good at picking up the language in terms of skill.

But also DP and I have been modelling having a go, using what you can and being respectful enough to try for years and that's rubbed off on them. I think their attitude to languages is a really good thing, and makes them approach with curiosity rather than feel othered or overwhelmed by cultural differences.

Over 15 years the most I have done is teach my kids to count ten in French and Spanish and say Hello, goodbye and thank you in the language of any country we've visited.

HV are interested in how many languages are used at home for developmental reasons. Bilingual children are often slow to develop language skills like longer sentences ( beyond single word speech) but then often exceed in language skills when older
You don’t need to teach them a second language if that isn’t used at home. As soon as they go to primary they will have opportunity to do so (if you wish, often privately paid for out of school, school and nursery exposure is minimal) by all means play nursery rhymes in French and English for exposure in a fun way. Lose the guilt, this is definitely not warranted!

Some HVs are to be ignored. For my first 3 children, I couldn’t fault the HVs. However, the one I saw for the 12 month check up for my 4th child was an absolute moron and so I didn’t go back. I guess like in most professions there are some good ones and some poor ones

The people who don’t believe the OP clearly didn’t have rubbish HVs. I had one so can completely believe that this happened.

I speak French as a second language and am quite fluent but I am not a native speaker and occasionally will say things in a way that a native speaker would not. I was nervous about teaching French to DC badly so haven't incorporated it into daily life. But we have some French books that we read together and a little word toy with French cards that DC happily plays with. That feels enough to me really.

We moved to a European country when DCs were small (primary school and younger). All became fluent then bilingual by attending the local school. We exclusively spoke English at home.

In English DCs were English, amongst their friends and to teachers they were locals (albeit with weird foreign parents).

The father, also foreign, of one of their friends had been told by HVs that he 'must' speak to his DCs in the local language not his native language. He regretted doing this because his DCs were unable to talk with their grandparents.

“This is unbelievable”

indeed

WHAT?! Talk about being stuck up her own rear end! That is not what health visitors are for and I think I would have been tempted to tell her so. Tbh my first 3 children had great HVs but the one with my 4th was a bona fide idiot so I just didn’t go back after the first appointment

This is unbelievable. You have to complain. ALL the research shows that you are enough for your baby- the best kind of enough. I know that sounds cheesy but it is very simply true.

Every mum expressed love more genuinely with their mother tongue it's normal.
You r ideas about exposing her to French are great!

It is not and it is not

They aren’t doing it in primary because of teacher shortages. DC primary school used to have a teacher from a local secondary coming to teach them Spanish. This is now gone and DC2 is taught Spanish by a teacher who has never learned before. The teacher openly admits she is learning from the same program as the children. This is very common.

If you can expose your child a little bit of French it’s a really a shame not to.

If this is accurate or even close to it, I'd make a complaint.

A significant proportion of English people are not monoglot, though — I once did a rough poll in one of my undergraduate classes (can’t remember why now) at a very ethically diverse institution, and about two thirds of the class had Hindi, Urdu, Punjabi, Gujerati, Somali, a Nigerian language, or another European language as a language other than English they routinely used in day to day life, some of them more than one, though they were less likely to write them.

She’s 12 months, the check is to see if there any any developmental issues. Exposure to a second language is NOT one of the checks so she is massively overreaching. It is also not something that is proven to make a difference compared to say, reading together or good nutrition. Focus on those and put her out of your mind.

Her comments were so inappropriate about letting DD down. I don't speak another language and neither does DH, was I supposed to learn one before giving birth?? I thought you were going to say your first language isn't English, and had chosen not to teach DD your native language.. which I could maybe just about see her point.. but none of her business all the same! But the fact that English is your first language and she made these comments is utterly bizarre to me. Unless I've been living under a rock, people do not do this! Unless it's spoken in the home, I've never heard of this.

I think you are reading too much into the comment. Mostly she is just making a passing comment about introducing French to your child because you can speak it. I don’t see a problem with it. Exposure is a good thing.

@Canonicalhours "@CurlewKate ridiculous post. There are shit people in every profession and I have dealt with some HVs who should not have been in their role."

Agreed. But no HV ever has told
a parent that they were "letting their baby down" by not teaching a 12month old a language they don't actually speak.

Some HVs are a bit shit, OP. It’s total luck of the draw. The thing about exposing kids to another language is ridiculous. Most people don’t and it doesn’t make them worse parents. You say you were/are fluent in French. Were you exposed to it from birth? If not, then you should remember that it is possible to become fluent even if you learn later in life and she is talking balls. I also became a fluent French speaker - didn’t even start until I was 11. Don’t let one shitty HV get you down.

Yep

You are not. This was my experience ok and the experience of everyone I know in real life.

Because there are no teachers.

When the government introduced MFL in primary they didn't supply any funding so schools got the person who has any qualification in an MFL so it could be a GCSE from 20 years ago.