Shamed by HV for not exposing DD to a second language

I think all your suggestions are great.
It doesn't matter that your French is rusty- exposure is better than none at all.

Do you mean all the schools have switched to Spanish now lol?!
(Actually, I know at my old primary school, they have switched French for Italian lol!)

You could also consider sending your daughter to a bi- lingual nursery. That's a strong start for her language journey.
For schools, try and find one that has an emphasis on MFL. Even better if you go private, as they immerse their students into languages alot younger than State schools.

I haven't taken my son to any French playgroups yet. But we do attend a baby- salsa dance class that's in Spanish and English.

For books, I recommend Barbar the Elephant, Tin Tin, Madeleine... They are all series, so she can grow up with them.
(I'm sure your DD will enjoy the Madeleine stories in particular! )

For music, I just type into YouTube French nursery rhymes and work our way through the playlists!

It definitely is a thing in some parts of the country.

Just had to add... Mine didn't do formal swimming sessions as a tot. We just used to spend hours in the local pools together having fun. Infant school saw kids rushing off for swimming lessons who'd been doing them since birth.

Junior school with formal swimming lessons revealed that most of these kids still couldn't swim any better than mine could. Mine was told they couldn't pass until they'd jumped into the pool so we signed them up to a Week intensive course. By Day 2, they'd jumped into the pool and were swimming beautifully.

The pressure to spend ludicrous amounts on baby swimming lessons is ridiculous. Go and just enjoy swimming together instead. Outdoor pool with sunhat!

I feel people have been unnecessarily harsh.

I would say absolutely go for it and expose your daughter to as much french as you can. It doesn't matter if it's not perfect. It will give her a basis to perfect it later on if she wishes.

I grew up bilingually (Spanish / English) and my husband is french. We are teaching our children all three languages and they are pretty much trilingual - not to perfection but very very good in all 3. They did go through phases of 'jack of all trades' but now are doing really really well. They are 6 and 8.

I am massively in to pushing languages and tell parents off for not teaching one whenever they can (because I know what Mumsnet is like, this is to be taken with a pinch of salt! It's parents I am close with and we all joke about it! No real telling off!).

Go for it! And when she's older get her to watch TV / cartoons in french.

I always say, it's a free gift you can give your child. Costs you absolutely nothing but could make a difference to them one day. So why not?

Are you sure that's what she meant? Whilst, of course, growing up with a second language would be interesting, the vast majority are unlikely to. Maybe things have changed but I thought HVs just check milestones were being hit etc. Is it possible she was just making conversation rather than giving clear advice?

I remember asking two health visitors to leave my house around 33 years ago, so nothings changed they are still the same!! Ignore her, do what you think is right and what you have time for and unless you have a good reason to be there, dont go to clinic unless its necessary.

My HV did the following:

1. Told us our child should learn Mandarin. My DH officially has Cantonese as his Mother tongue but really hasn't spoken it since about the age of ten. We did teach our child a little Cantonese but they are far from bilingual 😂
2. I asked at what age our child should use chopsticks. She suggested 9 months. I asked my MIL... About 2 and a half. 😂
3. Dropped said child on floor...

I've heard of kids being encouraged to have the languages of both parents spoken at home but never a suggestion that you just find a second language to teach them! I'd be grateful if kids understood English grammar and spelling to a higher level! And focus on being able to read with a decent vocabulary in that.

Having said that... Playing games in French is quite fun!

We are multilingual family, so for us came it natural. My 3 year old speaks my language and English fluently, at the moment he is just behind with my husband's language as I can not help much and my husband is working most of the time, so he has less exposure to that. But this is because those are our native languages. You have plenty of time to teach a 1 year old a different language, try with songs, stories and then then follow up. And don't worry too much. That is one nasty HV must say!

Wow, HVs do push their own agenda don't they! I often had disapproval from HVs for speaking my 2nd language (also French) to my children!

I'm a non-native French speaker also, over 9 years in to bringing up my children bilingually. I tell you what, I couldn't have done it as a single parent (although these days it would be easier, as DH speaks no French and the children prefer to copy him!)

If you want to introduce some French stories etc, do so, but don't expect it to lead to bilingualism. I've spoken to mine every day in French from birth, but realistically I am a minor input linguistically when they have their dad, the home language being mostly English, English school and nursery, so I'm grateful mine understand fluently, and can say some words. Honestly that's been hard won.

You are being an amazing mum whichever language you do it in.

I'm a single mama too, so totally understand the idea of not wanting to add extra work !
First of all , F your health visitor.

I was raised bi- lingual by my French mama. I grew up in London and eventually moved to France and Spain.

It's v important to me that my son speaks French and Spanish.
However, I do lack some of the discipline that my mama had with us... She's a retired languages teacher, so was v pedantic about how we spoke, wrote and read in all languages.

Even though I'm a native speaker, I will definitely send my son to formal language classes too. I don't have the patience or time to sit down with him for hours doing comprehensive like my mama did with us...
Definitely look into.this for your child. It will take alot of the pressure off from you!

At home, my son has the benefit of speaking with myself, family and friends in French or Spanish.
No TV - yet lol!
But lots of music , books, games etc.

My mama always dragged us to events at the Institut français as we lived nearby.
Find out what francophone events are available in your area. It's a great way for you and your child to make friends and soak up.some French culture.

That’s not what research says.
Instead it shows that the % of children needing SALT is the same whether the child is bilingual or monolingual as the issues found in one language is found in the other language(s)
which is between 10 and 15% of the chikdren

I know a Dutch guy whose kids understand Dutch but refuse to speak it to him.

Thats extremely common and very hard to fight against.
English being the dominant language and the one children use at school it often becomes the only language children want to speak.
A non British cousin of mine came to live in the U.K. as a child. Clearly completely fluent his mother tongue. Arrived as a 6yo, by the time he was 9yo, he was refusing to speak anything but English to his (non British) parents.

Why?

I would love my child to be bilingual and the vast majority of the kids in the nursery speak another language at home.

I researched whether it would be possible to achieve this. I am sadly not bilingual.

Options were

1. find bilingual nursery. Sadly none around here.
2. get au pair or similar regular carer/teacher to work with them.
3. sign up for a foreign language class/group. The only ones I could find were for, eg, Spanish but only for already Spanish speaking kids who live in England. Not beginners.
4. go and live in the country.

All the research I read said not to attempt it yourself unless you were fluent in the language. Even if you are it can be hard. I know a Dutch guy whose kids understand Dutch but refuse to speak it to him.

Do you have a source for this, because I am almost certain it is not accurate.

If YOU want your daughter to learn French then go
for it, if you’re only teaching her because of something the HV said then don’t bother. It isn’t essential that babies/children speak a second language especially if that Language isn’t the parents first language and spoken often with family etc.

A lot of children who came from dual language households require speech therapy, and obviously there are a lot that just soak up both languages like a sponge. I believe it only works if it comes completely naturally from the parents.

This is poor advice i’m afraid.

meddling HV - ignore

I’d have said I plan to Home School and looked her straight in the eye whilst doing so.

How dare she Mum shame you.

Call up the main office and tell them you would like to see another HV. If they ask why, tell them it's because she has been rude to you on multiple occasions. You have every right to do this.

I really feel that the actual conversation and your interpretation of it are poles apart. I just don’t see how a HV would see you as somehow failing at parenting because you hadn’t opted to raise a baby in a bi or multilingual household when your yourself are English, irrespective of living in a multicultural area.

Are you sure that this wasn’t a casual conversation and a throwaway comment that you have completely misinterpreted @Skedaddledaway?