To think that parents should send a quick individual thank you after kids birthday parties?

My dd is only 3 but I did individual texts to say thank you and the 4 parties she has been to I got a text to say thank you afterwards.

my dcs also thanked parents when child was collected fate the party. My dcs didn’t grow up in the uk so we didn’t have whole class parties and it was easy to have a quick chat at pick up time.

I've always made sure on saying goodbye, that my child stood with me and thanked their friend (when with their parent about to leave) for coming and for their card and present. Upon opening the presents, if I had a number for the parent, I'd often send a text to them directly saying "little Johnny just opened the present from little Sebastian and he absolutely loves the spiderman set, thank you so much" or similar. But sitting writing individual thank you notes, not happening - and the school wouldn't thank me either, it's bad enough sending invites in to be handed out which at 5 years old ends to being the teachers, they wouldn't then want to make sure thank you notes go to the right kids too! And relying on a 5 year old to give them out, and for the 5 year old recipient to take them home and give it to their parent.... bigger likihood of King Charles turning up at the birthday party as a surprise than everyone receiving the thank you note! And what happens when one mum says "oh wasn't that a lovely note off Johnny's mum after the party" and the other mum didn't receive their note because it's sat in their kids drawer, or another kids bag, etc? They then get upset and fallouts happen.

Honestly, a generic message to everyone sounds like the PERFECT solution. We never had that group chat for any of my kids though - would have made life easier!

I hosted my 7 year old's birthday party this weekend just gone. Took me literally days to prepare for it. My mum helped me but I did most of the work myself because my exh didn't bother showing up. Sorting/cleaning house, buying and preparing party food, making a cake, making the garden respectable after winter so the kids could play in it, herding the kids around when they got here, making drinks for the parents who stayed. etc etc. don't get me wrong I was happy to do it for my child obviously but I was exhausted by the end. So when all the children had gone home I sat on the sofa and watched my ds open his presents without hovering over him to see which one was which. YABU.

DC6 has recently had her birthday party. 25 children came and we opened all of the presents the next day.

Yes I took the time to note down who had bought her what, yes I messaged every parent individually to thank them for coming and for the specific gifts, and yes I made DC handwrite a thank you card to every child thanking for the specific gift.

Texts took me 30 minutes on my commute. DC writing the thank you cards was more painful but it was a good lesson that you can’t just expect to be given nice presents without saying thank you.

I think just a generic thank you on the class WhatsApp is really lazy.

This is what we do, too!

For the most part we do get individual thank you messages as well

I just think it's nice/good manners!

The irony of someone coming onto a thread about politeness to write this.

I think a general thank you is fine as presumably guests were thanked individually when giving the present to the child having the party.

YANBU. I also find it awful that gifts/money are not acknowledged. So grabby.

I used to do this after my kids parties. I would type a generic “dear x thank you for coming to my party. Hope you had fun. Thanks for the y they were z!” (Possibly with a photo of the party) and print them off for my child to fill in the blanks and give to their friends.

OP suggested a message?

A thank you at the time is enough for me

We usually say thank you in person when the gift is given. Why would you need a written confirmation of thanks as well? Plus from an environmental perspective what a waste of paper!

When they hand it to you, you don't know what it is, and it's nice to hear that the recepient liked it? And it's a good lesson for your children?

They all come with a signed card so it's hardly onerous to keep track if you open them afterwards which is the custom -I agree with a pp it avoids public comparison between presents which is better.

@comoatoupeira are you also thinking that guests should write a personal thank you card to the hosts, or is the thanks just expected to be one way?

The number of times we have hosted parties and people just hop off without saying goodbye let alone thank you is quite surprising but I’d be happy with a quick text afterwards, maybe in response to our text saying thanks for the gift. Their kids get a party, food, treats, often some entertainment, party bags.

A general thank you is absolutely fine.

Sending 30 invidual ''thanks for the pens'', ''thanks for the books'', ''thanks for the sweets'' is just unnecessary and a waste of time which as you rightly pointed out, will be almost always left to the mother.

I agree that it's important to send individual messages to acknowledge each present.
Our children usually opened presents after the party and as they were opening each present I wrote down who bought the gift so we could mention each gift in the thank you messages.
We did the same 20 years ago with our wedding presents.I understand that it takes a bit of time after a busy day but I think it's good manners & a nice touch to acknowledge the efforts that parents/children make.

We send thank you cards.

I said thank you face to face as the present was given. My child never unwrapped at the party as they would have found that too overwhelming.

I agree OP- time and thought has gone into choosing and wrapping a gift, a quick personal message is the right thing to do. Once they're old enough I just get them to write a text from my phone, signed with their name- the predictive text makes it quicker and easier.