To think that parents should send a quick individual thank you after kids birthday parties?

I think saying thank you is really important as well. Like many others, I make a note on my phone of who gave what as the presents are opened so I can compose a short personal message of thanks for each person over the following few days. It’s only once per year (well, twice as I have 2 primary aged DC)

I don’t have kids but do have a full time job and can’t imagine finding the energy to type 30 thank you messages after hosting a children’s party. However, I do think the children should write thank you notes - it could be made fun and is a nice way to teach appreciation. Plus they don’t have full time jobs and the rest of it!

So, how many adults do you have helping you with your children's parties?

But how do you know what to write down when it’s wrapped up? And a grandparent or uncle would surely not know the children involved.

“Pink and lilac stripy paper approx 15cm x 10cm x 3cm from the girl with the red dress with the tall, blonde mother.”

@comoatoupeira I am with you on this one, OP. It really irks me that hardly anyone sends thank yous these days.

We have had a couple, two that came with photos and even a video of the child opening our gift which my little one loved to watch. And another individual text from a nursery parent with specific thanks. The parents we're on the same wave length as, I'd say.

We held a party for my 4yo and I sent individual "thank you for the....and thanks so much for coming!" text/WhatsApp to the parents of the 26 chn that came. To me it feels rude not to do so! Copy and paste and slight edits really doesn't take long, and no longer than sat on the sofa browsing MN of an early evening either.

Or each family buys a present for their own kid from the whole class in lieu of buying loads of individual, prob duplicated and unsuitable gifts. Saves admin and maybe money in the long term. Needs agreement from the class though. Works well if everyone is in

I used to passionately hate the enforced Christmas phone calls as a child. Fine if the child wants to. Otherwise no. A written thank you (if giver not present when the gift was opened) or verbal thank you to family members is nice. For class birthday parties I think the party is in exchange for the present really. General verbal thanks is enough. I might write specific thanks to any particularly thoughtful presents or party bags etc.

I was always brought up to say thank you for a present - either in person as it was given to me, or by letter if it wasn't given in person.

Yes. We did this with all 42 kids. 😭😭 For her 5th 🤷‍♀️

Sent "Thanks for xxx, DD will enjoy playing with it/we've been looking out for this/she loves unicorns so this is perfect" kind of message

And about 6 videos of DD saying "thank you NAME for XXX, I really like it" it words to that effect to her closer friends.

My children used to write their own thank you cards. They would draw them too.

Plus a bread and butter card to the host.

Totally agree, OP. I posted something similar a while ago, and was disheartened by the number of people suggesting that I was the unreasonable one! I sit with a notebook and pen when my DC open presents, make a quick note of who gave what and then send individual thank you texts. Takes considerably less time than the person spent choosing and wrapping the gift.

I agree OP, it's the polite thing to do. My parents drilled it into me from a very young age to always send thank you cards, and we always do for relatives/family friends, but it isnt practical for a child's party with big numbers.

Youngest turned 6 a few weeks ago and we did a class party with presents opened at home afterwards. Eldest was tasked with noting down which child gifted which present, and I sent out twenty or so personalised texts along the lines of 'thanks for bringing (child's name) and for the lovely present, DD loved her stationary/book/craft set'. Most of the presents were just left on a table at the venue so we didn't get a chance to thank them at the time.

You did all that for your own benefit though. That’s a separate issue to thanking people for gifts. It’s like saying I put all that effort in and got what I wanted out of it, I couldn’t be arsed doing anything for anyone else.

Lol

I made sure my 7 year old thanked each child for the present when they handed it over. He said thank you to each child for coming when they left. I had set up a WA group for the party and said thank you to all the parents for bringing their child and for the lovely gifts. I didn't take note of which gift was from who, that's all.

I don't have numerous adults helping me with parties like the OP seems to think.

I always individually thank. I also make them ring anyone who gave them money or a present at Christmas by the close of play on the 27th Dec!

Just say thank you when they hand it over!
I would find it really difficult to keep track of who gave what

I mostly agree with you OP. When we had a party for DS (the only party we've hosted) I made sure to text everyone the day before the party to remind them of it, then I made a note of which child sent which gift when they were opened the day after the party, and sent thank you for [name gift here] to all the parents. It took maybe 20 mins as it was a copy and paste job with the child's name and gift changed for each message. I couldn't say thank you at the time when the gifts were given because a lot of them were just put on the present table while I was sorting other things out.

If we'd had a WA group where I could have just sent a mass thank you though I would have done that, and I found it acceptable after parties the year after where there was a class WA and parents just sent "thanks for coming and thank you for the gifts" to everyone. The important thing is making sure some sort of thank you has been said, whether that's when given the gift or after, IMO.

Because you disregarded a what's app message of thanks in your first post and discussed kids writing cards in further posts I assumed you meant hand written .

I think people were probably giving presents still at that stage, but it definitely morphed towards token amounts of cash in later primary school years. I think everyone got sick of tat, or books you had to return because you already had them etc.

(I’m not from the UK either. The only thing I found odd about UK children’s parties has been the frequent hysteria about them on here — all these ‘rules’ about it having to be either a whole class party where you invited even children your child actively disliked, OR all the boys or all the girls OR less than one third of the class, or else it was ‘exclusion’.

I delegated this to their dad, I did everything else. Surprisingly he never did it. More wife work.

Exactly, in my view they sort of cancel each other out - they sent a present and you fed and entertained their kid/s, no need for thank you texts back and forth with literally dozens of people! Especially when the host will be absolutely bloody knackered afterwards

You did all that for your own benefit though. That’s a separate issue to thanking people for gifts. It’s like saying I put all that effort in and got what I wanted out of it, I couldn’t be arsed doing anything for anyone else.