Wanting to work part time

I mean this in the kindest way but I think you should have counseling around needing to ask this question - as in why you have to justify quite so hard wanting to drop a few hours for your health and happiness when you can clearly afford to. And your username......no, you don't sound remotely lazy.

Do it (and the counseling!)

I would work three days. You can afford it and life is too short to work that way with a family. I have a very senior position and went back 2.5 days after DC. I LOVE the balance it gives me

If you are needing to go part time due to stress, health issues etc is it the best idea to be considering a baby? Surely you will only get more stressed with a new baby and obviously it will mean time spread even more thin than now with medical appointments and caring for a newborn.

Sounds like you need to go PT pdq, otherwise DH will want to rely on your FT wage to finance him to follow his dreams of being self employed....so he can bankroll his sister. Lol.

Firstly childcare costs are a household cost.

Secondly the difference to your maternity pay whether you work full or part time won't be much overall. Work it out.

Thirdly, you can't put a price in your health .

In your shoes unless my housing was incredibly unstable I'd work the days per week. There are no prizes for martyring yourself and you can't put a price on your health.

What are you saving for exactly?

I was a part time teacher for 7 years.
Pros
Time with my children
Easier to go to school events as I was either off or could negotiate with my job share partner to swap days around
Time to get things done in the house so less stressed at weekends and in the evening

Cons
Less money
Affect on pension
Comments from other members of staff
Being last one to be considered at work and just having to fit in

Sorry, can we just go back to the sister part?!? Why does he want to help his sister be part time and not his wife?😲

This shouldn’t be how it works FYI. The childcare bill should be taken from household expenses NOT just one persons’ salary. All money into one account, all bills paid. Leftover spit equally.

I mean you can definitely go part time. Who does the stuff at home??? I don’t see why he gets to say yes or no to be honest. I’d be explaining clearly why you are doing it. What kind of partner would not want their partner to avoid a burnout where possible and take sensible steps to put their health and well being first, aswell as it being affordable and thought through?? His response tells you a lot about what he thinks about you imo. Holding another baby over your head like a carrot for ‘a rest’ already makes me think he’s a twat. I think you should think carefully about having another baby with him to be honest. You know that the workload of two will be mad as well as his expectation of you AND still four days a week at such a high pressure job? I wouldn’t do those things if you paid me loads and loads of money. Be careful about boxing yourself in. I’d even be looking for a new job to be honest unless you really love it. Lots of luck to you x

The cost of childcare shouldn’t be based on your wages alone. #EverydaySexism.

You’re now clobbering yourself in terms of earning potential and pension while your husband carries on as though nothing has changed.

Does your husband want a baby?

Definitely try and go part time if you can. I went from full time to part time after my son was born. Money is tight but for us the nursery fees would've been more than my wage so it didn't make sense to go back full time:
I've just had my second and will also go back part time. It's a great balance and I get a lot of time with the babies.
We don't manage to save anything though, but we wouldn't if I was full time either. We just about get by, it's not easy.

Yanbu OP however is there anything you can also change in your working hours? Eg you say "I'm also the only member of my department who does form time, lunch time, and after-school interventions.", is this something that should really be shared around? Is there anything you can delegate here?

Also it might make you less stressed to go part time and you will see more of your child on that day..but you know that you will still miss the majority of assemblies, sports day etc unless your school is really flexible on your days off or your child's school has a set pattern of activities

Sorry if I judged him unfairly then.

I do think men don't have the same longing to be with their child.
I went back 5 days/wk after I had my DS (and went back far too quickly, long story), and I would literally feel sick at the thought of not being with him (I had asked for part time, but was turned down... this was 15 years ago, hopefully things would be different now). To this day, when I talk about it , it brings tears to my eyes, I literally had a physical craving to be with him, which I had to suppress.
And even now my children are older (between 15 and 9), I miss them when they are at school, and look forward to their coming back, and same at weekends if they are away. My DH loves them and is very involved with them, but doesn't feel the same in this way.
So, your DH probably just doesn't get how you are feeling. (Also, I think men sometimes don't seem to get as stressed as women do, tying themselves in knots?). I would have thought the biggest argument to convince him, assuming he is keen to have his own DC which I imagine he would be based on your description, is to say it is stopping you from falling pregnant.

I would definitely try and scale back your hours, and spend the time with your daughter. She is growing up fast, and once they get to about 10-11, they don't want you around so much any more!
The worst case scenario is that you don't manage to fall pregnant again... and then you really would regret not having had that time with your child, if she's the only one you end up having!
What you need to be prepared for, though (and I say this as someone who has worked part time!), is:

1. the school assemblies, plays, sports days etc don't necessarily fall on your days off.
2. You will have to set very clear boundaries. The worst case scenario is for you to do 5 days work but be paid for 3. Nobody will do it for you, you will need to do it yourself, and hold yourself to it. It's easier said than done. Especially if you seem to be doing more work than others even on 5 days in your current role, you may be letting yourself be a bit of a 'pushover' (in the nicest possible way)?

I think your husband doesn't see the need for your DC who isn't his child, and probably wants you to keep earning to take the pressure off himself, if his current earnings are a bit uncertain (which they would be if he is setting up his own business). Trust your gut, and push back.

Please cut back on the work you are currently doing eg interventions to get some back some much needed time to rest during the day.

Ouch!

he wants to start his own company and said his dream is to do that so his sister can work part time so she never has to leave her baby and work full time

How odd?! He doesn't feel like that about you working?

Why dont you ask for a temporary time of part time working to figure out your work life balance. This would be flexible working. Then review after x period of time, this gives you the flexibility to go back full time for more money if you become pregnant for example but also helps you figure things out not in a permanent way which can be daunting. I did this in the NHS and it worked well for me to help me decide what was best to do.