Or is my hyperlexic 3 year old actually neither ….

ADHD, ASD and dyslexia are all life long conditions though. Hyperlexia, in isolation, people age out of as others catch up with them in terms of reading ability. In isolation as well it is not a disadvantage.

Have you tried using signs (makaton or BSL)? You might find that reduces frustration. Ds was late to talk (although within normal range) and signs were useful to reduce frustration.

🤔 I am diagnosed ASD since childhood myself, so I would say my understanding is quite hard earned. What exactly have I said that displays a lack of understanding?

But your opinion is very skewed and not coming from a full understanding of the autism spectrum, as PP and myself have already pointed out.

He is a bit old for it now but did you ever do the mchat assessment online? It's for up to 30 month old but might still be worth having a look.

Also you should do some research regarding the spectrum as you don't seem to have a clear understanding of it.

But here’s what always gets me, why is hyperlexia not in the DSM??

Because hyperlexia in isolation isn't, in itself, a problem. If it presents alongside communication/comprehension difficulties (which it often doesn't) it's those difficulties that are the problem, not the hyperlexia itself.

Your son's communication difficulties sit alongside his hyperlexia - they're not caused by it. It's possible that your son has hyperlexia as part of a spectrum of autistic traits, but again, the hyperlexia in that case is merely one symptom and it wouldn't be helpful to look at it in isolation.

I was a hyperlexic child. I was reading fluently by the age of two and reading at an adult level by six or seven. Apart from being miles ahead of everyone else in my class at reading and having a huge advantage in English when I started secondary school, hyperlexia has affected me in no way whatsoever. I have another neurodivergent condition (not autism) but that isn't part of my hyperlexia and isn't caused by it. They're two separate things.

You are greatly over-thinking the hyperlexia. Focus on the big picture and not one detail. Also, your son is only three years old. It might not be possible to diagnose him with anything yet.

Both of my children are autistic, neither talked at all until they were 5.5 and one remains non-verbal. They both presented similarly to how you're describing your son and one was hyperlexic. I really think you should throw your energies into the EHCP and autism assessment processes, you will get nowhere with the hyperlexia stuff, it won't even be recognised and you'll get frustrated. The lack of comprehension is very likely to be due to autism rather than hyperlexia.

I wish you all the luck in this journey!

“A bit of general ND” isn’t a thing. ND is an umbrella term that covers specific diagnosis, not a diagnosis itself. You can’t just be “a bit ND” on the side. It’s either ASD or something else.

The pre-school want to apply for an EHCP for 1:1? He must have pretty substantial additional needs - is he toilet trained and does he have challenging behaviour or meltdowns?

I think the reason hyperlexia is not in the DSM as a stand alone diagnosis is because its core features do not present a barrier to learning or participation in society.

Low sleep needs is very common in autistic individuals also.
I'm not sure if you are confused regarding autism symptoms as your description of him sounds like he has many traits.
Once he has his assessment he will be assessed by experts. But school will be looking at the child not tge diagnosis anyway. If the tactics for hyperlexia are yielding results they will use those.
All autistic children are different so just because a child gets a diagnosis doesn't mean they will adopt some unsuitable blanket approach.

I'm not really sure what you are seeing that conflicts with an autism diagnosis.
You state: If anything I feel like he skews more ADHD as he does not crave order, or sameness or routine, but enjoys novelty, movement and sensory input.
My autistic son doesn't crave sameness or routine, enjoys movement and sensory input, he's definitely autistic though.
School will try different methods of engaging him based on his needs and responses though and not just on diagnosis.

Has this been picked up by paediatrics or is it just your observations? Where are you up to with the EHCP application process?
You have another 18 months before he starts in Reception and a lot may change before then. I would suggest you put the idea that he has a specific condition to the black of your mind and focus on which milestones he is not achieving at the relevant stages.

It sounds exactly like ASD to me, every child with ASD is different. It's perfectly possible for a child with ASD to be sensory seeking - stimming is a form of sensory seeking. Many kids with ASD like bright, flashing lights for example, mine loved fireworks and I remember randomly he loved seeing clowns doing slap stick at the circus! Kids with ASD can also be extremely sociable and love other kids/people, a lot don't tick every box in the ASD check list! DS never flapped or lined anything up or was obsessed with spinning wheels.

I'm not really seeing why you think he might have ADHD or might not have ASD and I really think you're over thinking the hyperlexia tbh.

It's not in the DSM because it isn't a psychiatric condition...

It can be very difficult to tell at that age. My hyperlexic child has always been very obviously autistic. My other child seemed pretty normal until about year 4 and then all his classmates developed more complex social skills that he couldn't keep up with. He's only just been diagnosed with autism at age 22 (for reasons relating to his idiotic father). But what I'm saying is, that sometimes you just have to wait until their environment becomes more difficult for them.

Do you though remember your experience of reading when you were three? You will probably encounter many more issues over the coming years whether he has enough to get a diagnosis or not. He will also change in the coming years almost beyond recognition. All you can do is advocate for his needs now and although I know it is almost impossible to do, try not to lose too much sleep or tears over it.

Have you considered that you yourself are ASD?

Your bright, happy, curious boy will be absolutely fine. I think sitting up all night stressing over what specific label is going to make his life better and who will or will not help matters isn’t going to help him. He needs you to relax and just be his mum. Advocate for him, but don’t obsess over him.

My son was diagnosed at 4 and he has came on leaps and bounds. We have everything in place we can but really, we just let him be him. Hovering over him and analysing his every move and every development (“was it on target? Was that a stim? Is he matching peers?”) will add pressure he doesn’t need, to BOTH of you.

In the end, it’s all bloody fine. Advocate for him and help him, but let him be. Celebrate who he is rather than trying to figure out what he is.