Or is my hyperlexic 3 year old actually neither ….

That should have said hyperlexia not hyperextension thanks auto correct

It sounds like you know your son very well and your advocacy will be a huge help for him.

You're right that it's becoming harder to get places in state special schools and that mainstream schools often struggle to cater for the needs of their neuro diverse children.

Like PP, I would say that kids with ASD can present in very very varied ways (and also that milestones can be met, just later). The right education for your son will be the one where they focus on his individual needs as a person, not on the diagnosis. Diagnoses and EHCPs open doors (in theory) but good schools don't tend to use them as a blueprint for care, if that makes sense?

Re private, they often lag behind state in ability to cater for different needs except private specialist schools which might be worth you researching if you can afford? Good luck.

Please stop hyperextension is nothing like dyslexia and it's really offensive to those of us with dyslexia which is a learning disability.
Your son is 3 he has strengths and weaknesses like all of us nothing that you're describing in your child is abnormal.
You seem determined to find a diagnosis for what appears to be a normal 3 year old step away from dr Google and whatever websites you're getting this nonsense from.

Of course it is! And that’s why you are doing a fantastic job of advocating for him, interpreting his needs and trying to find the best thing for him. This is all very positive. You just need to stay open to learning that these needs may change, grow, fade, and they may fit criteria for different diagnosis at different times. Given his high needs difficulties I think it’s very fair that they are looking into ASD diagnosis. Again, My own son was diagnosed at 4/5 years old. I’ve been there, mama.

Oops, forgot to quote the post that states hyperlexia is always for life. I think it's quite common for hyperlexics to level off and end up broadly in line with peers.

My son was very similar. I thought he was a genius at age 2 but he’s actually learning disabled and classically autistic. The hyperlexia was a memory trick - his memory is phenomenal. He wasn’t really decoding but memorised the whole word like a picture so it looked like he could read. He moved on to memorising whole books etc Look into private autism therapists to support outside school or private speech therapy. I don’t think schools can provide nearly enough (not their fault). Don’t expect a diagnosis or EHCP to bring magic support the best thing has been private therapists and training myself to teach him. Look at Hanen ‘more than words’ resources with home routines / understanding. PECS course is also useful. Don’t worry about the medical side focus on what he’s struggling with and if you have some money you can spend find people who can help you with those issues.

I am hyperlexic (and not autistic) - a pp said that it is just early reading and that other children catch up, but I'm not sure that's true. It is pattern recognition and decoding which has stayed with me into my adult life - I can break down Cyrillic and other alphabets without being able to understand the words, I can remember names of people and details about them forever if I read them once etc. I am not especially intelligent in other ways so it's also not a form/sign of intelligence. It is definitely a learning difference.
Interestingly though, I've been diagnosed as an adult with ADHD, which tallies with the idea that there is comorbidity with other neurodiverse conditions.

I don't think this is the case actually.

You also need to consider the etymology of the words 'hyperlexia' and 'dyslexia' to understand why one is a diagnosable state and the other isn't - 'lexia' meaning 'word', 'hyper' meaning 'over' and 'dys' unfortunately means 'abnormal' or 'lack of'. Dyscalculia is a learning difficulty, whereas high mathematical ability isn't (although gifted students may find lessons boring and often need additional attention).

But then you’re also trying to argue the fact that your understanding must be better than mine - A person who is autistic and has lived with that disability my entire life. That seems a lot like you arguing for the sake of it. You did say you would accept if he was given an ASD diagnosis but you believe hyperlexia is the heart of it all.

I have read all your posts, I was the first to comment. It is quite clear you did not take the early recommendation of relaxing a little. We are here trying to help and assure you that regardless of specific diagnosis your son will actually be okay. It’s good that you are advocating and trying to understand, but you need other things to focus on. Sitting up st night stressing about it will not help.

Hyperlexia is a developmental aspect that is somewhat irrelevant in itself. In the same way you can have a child that happens to walk early or sit up early.

The issues only come if this is symptomatic of something else. In your sons case it sounds like he's quite likely autistic too.

1:1 is very rare in nursery unless there are significant and unusually extreme levels of extra support needed. 1:1 at mainstream school is even rarer. So there must be an awful lot of other serious issues nursery are seeing to even suggest applying for an EHCP including this.

Age 3 is tiny. My kids weren't diagnosed until 7 and 9. It's going to be a long process. If you are already finding such high levels of stress as you describe I'd suggest reaching out to the carers centre or social services for support. You describe your child as quite calm and easy. They may well get harder as they get older (mine did!) so it's best to get yourself some support e.g. counselling now.

As pp said perhaps have a think about your own ND too. There's a huge genetic link and the anxiety levels you describe could be due to undiagnosed needs.

Asd and ADHD are often comorbid so it is possible he could have both, however you seem to be ignoring people who are saying that sensory seeking can be part of ASD, as it is in my son as are sleep issues. He also loves socialising and chatting to and being with people.
the spectrum of ASD and ADHD are both broad and complex and encompass a wide range of features.
Asd is usually associated with a significant communication difficulty though, which it sounds like your son has. You will work it out as he gets older. It's good it has been flagged up already.
Might be useful to know that many selective private schools won't take kids with an ASD diagnosis. Well they won't where I live anyway, unless you pay for extra one to one support.

My Grandson age 10 is diagnosed ASD and hyperlexic ... he's HE and meets up with others who are also the same .
He was much younger than your son when he started showing signs .
It can be a fantastic thing but also not.. luckily his Mum has a maths degree

Did I say that? No. You seem very keen to ignore the obvious signs of ASD that myself and other PP are highlighting. Many have said they do not otherwise align with Hyperlexia alone. This alongside the fact Hyperlexia more often than not does go in hand with ASD. Not acknowledging the issues you have highlighting with your DC are clear signs of ASD is why I say you lack understanding.

You then seemed to think I lack ASD understanding, but you have given nothing to back that up. It seems much more like you have been challenged here and you don’t like it.

There are different types of hyperlexia and not all present as a or with difficulty. Unlike dyslexia.

When is he 4?