DH left me NOTHING in his will – devastated and fuming

Maybe your brother isn't as innocent as he protests. He is deliberately leaving a mess for his current wife to sort out, at a point when she will be grieving. He sounds like a catch.

Is this just an English thing?

Married in Scotland and certainly didn’t “have everything clearly explained and make sure you’re entering the marriage of free will, fully informed”.

If I had then I possibly wouldn’t have got married, given I was the sole earner and with significantly more assets.

I agree with @Whycanineverthinkofone . All the advice to a woman is to get married “for protection”.

It isn’t a mess though. The procedure for who gets what is clearly set out in law.

Maybe your brother isn't as innocent as he protests. He is deliberately leaving a mess for his current wife to sort out, at a point when she will be grieving. He sounds like a catch.

O/p. it may well be that he intentionally didn’t make a will, knew about intestate rules and was happy with that.

my brother is thinking about going this route. His adult children are now not speaking to him because they believe their mother’s story that he was the one who had an affair and blame him for splitting the family.

he doesn’t want to cut them out his will, because they’re his children. But he doesn’t want to leave them anything either because they’ve treated him like crap.

if he dies intestate then his current wife will get the house and the kids anything over it’s value. Seems a diplomatic way of doing it to me. Wife is provided for and children aren’t disinherited.

Yes you meet with the registrar, but they don’t explain any legal ramifications of the contract in relation to property/assets, which is what the PP was suggesting.

You don’t have to meet with the registrar before getting married to ensure the marriage is legal first? You don’t have to prove you actually know each other and aren’t being forced?

You don’t have to meet with the registrar before getting married to ensure the marriage is legal first? You don’t have to prove you actually know each other and aren’t being forced?

I honestly don’t know how to feel about that. On one hand, I’m still furious and hurt that he never updated the will how could he not think about me and our DC? But on the other hand, I never wanted to leave his older DC with nothing. This isn’t what I would have chosen, but I have to think about protecting myself and my children first.

I suppose I need proper legal advice to see exactly what this means and if there’s a way to make things fair without leaving myself in a bad position. I don’t want a war, but I also don’t want to be taken advantage of. The fact that DH put me in this situation at all is just unbelievable.

Is this just an English thing?

Married in Scotland and certainly didn’t “have everything clearly explained and make sure you’re entering the marriage of free will, fully informed”.

If I had then I possibly wouldn’t have got married, given I was the sole earner and with significantly more assets.

I agree with @Whycanineverthinkofone . All the advice to a woman is to get married “for protection”.

Well it is the fault of the law makers if the general public are not fully aware of the law.

Getting married is a legal contract. Part of that is meeting with someone to have everything clearly explained and make sure you’re entering the marriage of free will, fully informed. If you can mange to survive the ordeal of that, I’m sure you can survive the ordeal of sitting down with a solicitor and having everything explained to you so can can make an informed decision about who you want to inherit from you.

No, I don’t have a will stupid, I know. This whole mess has made me realise I need to sort one ASAP.

As for the house, it was his before we got together, and for some reason, we never got around to putting my name on the deeds. I know, I know huge mistake. At the time, it just didn’t seem urgent. We always saw everything as “ours,” and I never imagined he’d die without making sure I was protected.

And yes, he was quite a bit older than me. Maybe that’s why I just assumed he’d have been more on top of things legally he wasn’t careless in other areas of life. I honestly feel like such an idiot for not pushing him to update his will or at least properly discussing it. But hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn’t it?

Well that was really shit advice. It’s situation dependent. I’m not sure why you took it.

I’m honestly reeling and don’t know what to do. DH of 15 years passed away unexpectedly a few months ago. It’s been a horrible time, and I’ve been dealing with everything – funeral, DC, paperwork, the lot – while also grieving.

I’ve just found out that he left NOTHING to me in his will. Not a penny. Everything has gone to his two DC from his first marriage, who are both adults and very comfortable financially. Our joint savings, the house (which is in his name, long story), even his personal possessions – all left to them. I get that he wanted to provide for them, but to leave me, his WIFE, completely out??! I am beyond hurt and also absolutely panicking because I have no idea where this leaves me financially.

He made the will before we were married, and I stupidly assumed he’d updated it. I trusted him. Never in a million years did I think he’d do this to me. I’ve raised our DC, supported him through thick and thin, and now I’m left with nothing??

I feel sick. I don’t even know where to start with legal stuff – does anyone know if I can challenge this? I can’t believe he’s done this. I thought we had a happy marriage. Just looking at his face in old photos makes me want to scream.

Has anyone been through anything similar? What did you do? I feel so betrayed.

I’m willing to bet the vast majority of people getting married do not understand the legal implications.

every thread on here, nearly 100% of posters will advise a woman to get married “for protection” seemingly without any understanding of the wider implications.

i was advised the same. With no consideration to the fact I owned my house, had assets, was the higher earner, and dh had nothing. So marriage ultimately protected him, not me, and made me more vulnerable as now he was legally entitled to half of everything I owned.

i now have to be doubly sure my will as watertight and goes to who I want, which is not dh. There is every chance if I don’t make a will marriage will mean he, then his kids when he dies, will get my assets. If I hadn’t married not only would I have been way better off if we split, but my assets would automatically go to my family should my will get lost or I die intestate.

There is a clear difference between having the capacity to obtain information and choosing not to exercice that capacity to obtain information.

I’m willing to bet the vast majority of people getting married do not understand the legal implications.

every thread on here, nearly 100% of posters will advise a woman to get married “for protection” seemingly without any understanding of the wider implications.

i was advised the same. With no consideration to the fact I owned my house, had assets, was the higher earner, and dh had nothing. So marriage ultimately protected him, not me, and made me more vulnerable as now he was legally entitled to half of everything I owned.

i now have to be doubly sure my will as watertight and goes to who I want, which is not dh. There is every chance if I don’t make a will marriage will mean he, then his kids when he dies, will get my assets. If I hadn’t married not only would I have been way better off if we split, but my assets would automatically go to my family should my will get lost or I die intestate.

There is a clear difference between having the capacity to obtain information and choosing not to exercice that capacity to obtain information.

Saying we don’t have an obligation to ensure people entering into a legal contract fully understand the implications of that contract is awful.