DH left me NOTHING in his will – devastated and fuming

I'm sure you're right. I have the impression it's a very old-fashioned term now for a High Street solicitor.

Someone dabbling in multiple unrelated areas is generally best avoided. Solicitors specialise for a reason, and seeing a specialist won't normally cost more, in fact it normally results in a saving overall.

No doubt, but when a thread is already into 10 pages I'm only going to read all of OP's posts. 😂

Traditionally, a 'family' solicitor is like a 'family' doctor - local, general practitioner, knows enough about a lot of different areas to refer on to a specialist if necessary. I assume that was what was meant, not an expert on Family Law.

Which works of most assets are held jointly as they automatically go to wife and it's only separate assets that get treated under intestate rules.

But if the husband owns all the assets in his name and that value is over £322k, it can mean having to sell a house to pay things out

Oh, and they may be being quiet because they understand you are in a tricky situation and don’t want to make it worse.

Have you asked them to contribute to the funeral arrangements? Readings? Music choices? DM cut us all out, which we found hard.

For goodness sake. Children who are dependent and have lost their dad are entitled to more than children who are independent adults and enjoyed being provided for by their dad for their entire childhood.

After that there is the children’s mum to consider, who may also be a dependent.

When his assets are no longer needed for survival by his widow and young children, the adult dc can be considered.

Adult DCs have lost their dad, but they have other people in their lives to support them. OP has lost her husband and is supporting their dc.

Cut her some slack if she’s not on top of the paperwork.

OP there will be pensions that need informing- they can choose who to pay out to even if there is an expression of preference. I’ve left mine to my DC, but if we’d had a disaster and DH was on the breadline, they’d likely pay to him instead, if he needed it.

I’m sorry for your loss.

I don't think you can assume that he never thought about you and your children.

As you now realise, it's not simple to come up with a solution that feels fair to his first family and also protects you and your joint children. Whatever that solution turns out to be, it will very likely be different to what it would have been if he had died 10 years earlier or 10 years later, when the needs of you and your very young/ school age/ almost adult children would be very different. It's practically impossible to write a will that gives a fair solution in all these cases, so if he had made a new will it would have had to be regularly updated.

Perhaps he did think about you, realised that because you were married you would have a lot of protection, and he trusted you to look for the best solution for everyone. Once he was gone, you'd only have to find a solution that was appropriate for that point in time. Everyone's actual needs on his death only crystallise when he actually dies, so you're in a position to balance them out in a way that he would never have been able to do while he was alive.

I completely understand your wanting to make things fair without leaving yourself in a bad position, but please remember that 'fair' and 'bad position' are subjective judgements that probably look different to the other people involved. There's quite possibly no answer that's going to leave everyone entirely happy, so I wouldn't set yourself an impossible task.Take everyone's feelings into consideration, but in the end you can only do what seems right to you. It looks to me as if he trusted you to do that.

That’s the law!

It may be that your DH had good reason not to make a will following your marriage. My DH is resistant to doing so because he would prioritise me, his wife of 20 years, over his adult children who have been well looked after during his life. He is uncomfortable with saying so explicitly in a will so, I think, prefers to leave it unsaid and to be dealt with as intestatcy.

This does not sound accurate. Even married people get to have their wills respected.

Is their an actual lawyer who can answer this?

Oh it appears that marriage does invalidate will. Interesting.

THEY DON'T GET NOTHING

All children share 50% of anything over £322k

@Crocmush

All you need to do to make it fair is to write your will to leave an equal share of the house between all your late dh's children.
It depends on what happens between now and when the OP dies.

If she increases the estate considerably by making a fortune somehow then that is her money and that's nothing to do with his older dc.

So his other children got nothing?

A decent Family Solicitor wouldn't touch this with a bargepole and would suggest that the OP speak to her colleague the decent Wills and Probate Solicitor.

OP please ignore this poster writing that you are "getting greedy now." How nasty when you've just been widowed and are worrying about having to support your kids on your own. Some people will stick the boot in at the most inappropriate times.

I'm not saying I don't disagree with you, but generally this place seem to echo that no one has the right to expect to inherit. It is unfair but also, after going through divorce how do people not check ahead on this? The OPs husband should of taken care of his family and not left his wife to clear up the mess or feel she has to protect herself. If I had been married for a long time and my husband had passed leaving me with two small children I might feel the need to protect my home and not lose that too. I would expect the children to inherit all at once with my death.

See a solicitor.

Whilst I think your DH was completely wrong not to do a new will, he won't be the first or last person to not do so.

We can't jump to conclusions. The OP got a shock when she found out about the old will. We don't know the details of how it was found or what the other adult children have said about inheritance.

My stepdaughter thought that she had a good relationship with her partner's adult children...until he died intestate and their mother went after the house (which belonged to my stepdaughter) and their dad's pension. The partner and his ex had been divorced for 16 yrs.

The court dismissed the claim on the house and awarded the pension to the stepdaughter's child as the only dependent of her late partner.

I don’t really think you can give him grief about not having his will updated when you don’t have one at all….

All you can do is get legal advice and hope for the best. Sorry about your loss

I scrolled past the long repost of the OP only to find you'd said the same thing as 200 posters before you 😂

Since all the children are your DHs there should be a fair split of whatever is going to the children between all of them (not their fault that their dad married twice so they shouldn’t be negatively impacted by that)

If it turns out your children will benefit more then be prepared that they will fight for equality between all the siblings

Oh and it doesn’t matter that the older DC are financially comfortable, whatever they are entitled to legally they should get

The house that we lived in was the one that I had before we married and I paid the mortgage myself.

I also finished up paying off the mortgage for the house that DH owned - I used my savings. (Both houses are modest 2 beds in an inexpensive area.) We never bothered to transfer that into joint names...That could really have bitten me in the bum, but DH left it to me in his will.

A marriage generally overrides a trust:

In most cases, after marriage, a Declaration of Trust will be superseded by the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973.10 Jun 2024

It's highly unlikely if everything was left in trust to his children (which seems unlikely anyway) the OP "wouldn't have a leg to stand on" as that pp seemed to think. Especially as they have young children and are living in their family home. A judge would not look kindly to well-off adult children seeking to take everything away from them either.

This is why op needs to see a solicitor asap, as most people have pointed out.

Sorry for your loss Op.
You need to see a solicitor asap
Once you’ve sorted out your problems you need to get a will of your own drawn up.
Word of advice - please don’t leave your DH’s children from his previous marriage out. Your home was their family home too and they deserve something from their Father.
Too many children of first marriages miss out on their inheritance because the second spouse cuts them out.