To say DH can’t get a dog

Money will never convince anyone anyone to not buy a dog because most people who don’t know about dogs will decide the dog won’t need to go to the vet that often, they won’t need Insurance, they’ll buy supermarket dog food etc etc until they’ve convinced you it actually pays to own the dog😅 you are more likely to convince on the ‘what if we want to go away, what if you’d like to go out for the day’, what if the kids don’t get on with the dog etc etc.

Tell him to join borrow my doggy - that way we get an occasional doggy fix and have several different ones when owner away etc , without the cost or commitment- I enjoy having them and it suits us and the lovely owners

Dogs aren’t cheap. How is he planning to afford this?

purchase price
insurance
worming tablets
training
toys
treats
equipment - bed, collar, leads etc

I gave in. (Kids at 10 and 11 gave me a list of 20 reasons we should get a dog).
I regret it. I told them it would be a burden, couldn't be left more than 5 hours at a stretch. Would cost us the equivalent of a holiday every year.
We got the dog. He costs a lot of money, takes up a lot of time, and now we are winding down towards the end of his life 13 years on, I get to do the medications, ointments, etc, etc, etc. I hate it. Kids are finishing up uni, never here. I resent every moment spent walking him - purely because I have become the default. I do his life admin by default (booking vet, groomers, kennels) and feeding, fresh watering, walking, medicating, brushing, cleaning up after it is never ending.

And I knew it would happen this way. Despite the promises. I wish I was back at the start of the journey. I'd say no a bit stronger.

How would he pay for his kids if you weren’t subsidising him?

Regardless of financial situation i think getting a dog really needs to be a joint decision because it’s a big commitment. That’s basically irrelevant though because he can’t afford one.

He can't even afford his lifestyle now!

👏

I’d say let’s revisit the topic once we’ve had our budgeting under control for 12 months in a row. Perhaps he could do some dogwalking to bring in some extra cash until then.

Totally reasonable to say no. I have a dog, always have had dogs and love my dog, but they are a lot of work (as well as time and money) and I’d always say that if the whole household isn’t 100% onboard with getting a dog then it’s not right to get one.

Dogs are such a big part of a household, totally change the dynamic and routine of everybody, having to walk daily, 24/7 training for basically the best part of 12 months, even after that you then always have to factor them in to weekends away/holiday plans/nights out/days out, it’s a big change and if you’re not all 100% for it then it has to be a no.

Tell him if he stops smoking, and can sustain it for 6 months so you know it permanent, he can have a dog

It's not even about finances. You have two anxious cats, so you have to put them first, therefore it's a no because it would be incredibly stressful and unfair for them.

You already have far too much on your plate at the moment.

As usual the first response nails it

He doesn’t want a dog, he wants you to get a dog that he can occasionally play with or walk if he feels like it.

You would be meeting all the expenses as he already runs out of money. You would be caring for it all day as you wfh. So it would be you getting the dog and you don’t want one. Tell him no!

If he gets one, make sure he knows you’ll be working outside the home from that moment, and the extra cost of that will absorb any free income you have, so the costs will be all on him including of a dog sitter for the daytimes.

Why does he want a dog, and why does he want a dog right now? I'd suggest he volunteer for a rescue, but he has 4 kids.

In your situation I would absolutely refuse to get a dog, to the extent that I would go and work in a cafe or coworking space rather than be responsible for the dog while also wfh.

Regardless of finances (which point to no), everyone in the household needs to be on board with getting the dog (especially the adults). If one of you isn’t, then a dog is a no go

No. Dogs can be very expensive. Times not right.

No, he can't get a dog. He's not a fucking teenager. You've got more than enough on your plate and he doesn't sound remotely sensible enough to look after a sentient being (which will end up being rehomed). Selfish bastard. End of conversation.

Your finances don't support what you have now.

That would be a no, dog.

He fucking throws away money on smoking.

I've been there and it's a no from me. My partner already had a dog when I moved in and the dog went to work with him every day. One day in the middle of high Summer, he asked me if I am OK with the dog being at home as it's too hot for her at work. I said yes. And I said yes on a couple of more hot days. And then over time the dog stopped going to work altogether. While it's nice to be out and about at lunchtime, I did not sign up for this life. When my dog-caring duties started creeping to weekends as well, I went on strike. The dog was quickly reinstated as an employee at that point but she still seems to have a lot of time off. She was at work this morning but I guess she called in sick as was dropped off back to me at 11.

If you can't afford a dog, then it's unfair to get one really, apart from any of the other very valid points you have against doing so.

My small terrier costs me about £200 a month, and that's just for basics like decent food and insurance, worming/flea treatment, grooming and the odd toy/treats.

I've got 2 dogs and it is hard work. A big responsibility and cost. My 2 are insured payment comes out monthly, vet bills cost, flea, worm treatment etc cost, food, dog groomer, all the things that come with a dog e.g. food dishes, toys, collar, harness, lead.
You have to feed them and give them fresh water throughout day. You need to exercise them throughout the day and if you go on holiday you need to arrange care and that is a cost to think about.