To say DH can’t get a dog

Yanbu my sd mum got them a dog. It was gone three years later and wasn't that well looked after. Loved but not looked after and I hope it's really happy in its new home.
It's a huge commitment and I've said to my dh it would be me or a dog as it's a hard no. Stand your ground

After our last dogs passed, I waited years before getting another- and actually had cold feet a day before getting her knowing what a massive commitment a dog is-

However training started on day one- The excuses people give for not training are ridiculous!

Training should be fun for both of you.

The fact that you are thinking very hard about such a massive commitment is good-

It shows you are considering the future dog’s wellbeing- You will probably be a wonderful dog owner.

A chaotic house with young children and cats and a woman working from home like OP is-
One just knows all the dog care will fall to her.

A barking, yelping puppy while she is on Zoom calls won’t go down well!

Yanbu and you have to be firm on this. No dog until his financial situation and working commitments allow him to take 100% responsibility for all its needs. Maybe once his kids are independent and he has retired. If he gets a dog any sooner than that end the relationship.

The walking in all weathers is very true.
As is the poo picking.

Driving rain, hail, sleet, snow- the occasional heatwave where dogs need exercise early in the day or in the cool of the evening-

I lost over a stone after getting a dog because of the “enforced” daily walks- Men in couples are bad at not walking their dogs - usually it falls to the woman.

Absolutely not. It's not just money. This poor dog will not get proper walks and will always be put last in such a busy household. Tell him he can get one when kids are older if he still wants one.

Nope nope nope and I say that as someone who has a dog (very much wanted and well planned)
Your household is already hectic and although you are financially managing what would happen if HE ran out? Dog cant be not-fed, not looked after/cared for.
Has he looked at pet insurance costs? prepared for general/emergency vet bills, day to day costs, food, flea/worming /grooming ?

What about holidays? Taking a dog away restricts where you can go , days out etc, if dog isnt coming how does that affect your day/ holiday.
What about holidays abroad? Home boarding? Relying on good will of friends and family.

BUT my biggest reason for saying NO would be he's leaving you to do the majority of it's day to day care/needs on top of what you already do, youre WORKING from home and I'm assuming that most of the home and child related stuff is left to you already. There's no way I'd be adding to that work/mental load.

All this. Far too many people get breeds that need to be trained in at least basic manners but don’t bother. It’s a real shame.

Dogs require so much upkeep that unless you really want one and are going to get a lot of joy out of it then you shouldn’t.

I love dogs and am looking at getting one myself soon. I’m willing to put the work in and the financial side of things won’t be an issue but even I am trying to read threads like this to make sure I am absolutely certain before making such a huge commitment

That sounds foul!
My dog is not smelly ( her teeth are brushed daily) and she is well trained- A smelly , badly trained dog is literally odious!

@DillyDallyDella As PP have said , dogs cost a lot if kept properly.
Vet insurance is essential and a massive expense along with regular parasite treatment-
Good quality food &c
It could really upset the cats as well.

Don’t get a dog. You’ll resent it and your husband. And giving up a dog has got to be far harder than living without one.

Usually because it's the woman doing all the care anyway.

Tell him when he fully funds his children and has money left over every month for a year, you will discuss it. He doesn't pay for his own children. Selfish manbaby wants a dog.

He expects you to spend 3 of your working days each week looking after a dog you don’t want? And financially subsidise a dog you don’t want? He’s being totally unreasonable.

Do you really want to be out in all weathers picking up dog shit? Dogs are a massive time and effort commitment, much more so than cats. It’d be a firm and non-negotiable no from me.

Well when a woman on here wants an animal they are told just do it he will have to put up with it there has been numerous threads saying this he can leave if he doesnt like it

but no unless everyone wants one then it is not fair on the animal

This - next time he asks for money you say
no, I don’t have it, and if you had bought a dog youd be planning for it to starve till next month would you? I wouldn’t pay but I would report you to the rspca.

Absolutely. Otherwise it just becomes another cause for resentment, and that's not fair.

No way. My dog costs me a fortune!

Food (yes you can buy cheap stuff but it’s crap quality and not good for a dog long term)

Insurance (definitely worth having unless he can rustle up a few grand instantly in an emergency which it doesn’t sound like he can)

Walkers and holiday care for when I’m out for a long day or away

Grooming appointment every 6 weeks

Vets bills (even with insurance it’s often not worth claiming due to the excess)

Toys/beds/leads/collars/harness/car seat etc

Routine flea and worm treatment

Neutering

Training classes (highly recommended unless you want an asshole dog)

In my case I have additional expenses due to competing in a sport with my dog so I have entry fees, travel, regular chiropractic checks for doggo.

It all adds up to a LOT of money every month, and my dog is young and healthy, it will only get more expensive as she gets older.

We just spent $5000 on treatment for our dog for a freak inflammation she somehow acquired. Thankfully we have a savings account specifically for this but of course that’s now empty again so we’re hoping nothing else goes wrong. Dogs are expensive and a huge commitment. As much as I love mine I won’t be having any more after they go. Just say no to your husband, this needs to be something everyone is on board with and can afford!

Absolutely this.

I've always wanted a dog, but over the years the extremely illuminating threads on here about what's really involved in dog ownership has really put me off.

The final straw came with the thread a couple of years back about all dogs eating faeces if they could - from nappies in bins to actually out of a dog's bum while stood next to them pooing (so the confused dog couldn't figure out where their poo had gone)!

Totally gross and it's made me adore our clean and beautifully behaved cats even more!

No don’t get a dog, if you don’t want one, you both need to be fully onboard to get a dog, they are such a commitment. We absolutely loved our dog, we had him before the kids, from a pup until he was PTS at nearly 13, but I would never ever get another dog, but my circumstances very different to yours.

Absolutely not unreasonable, my dog ownership costs are at least £400 per month although I do make limited use of daycare/walkers

You don’t get one simply because you don’t want one. He can’t bring a pet in to the house if he is the only one who wants one it’s not fair

Your husband wouldn't be getting a dog, the whole family would be getting a dog. A pet isn't something that one person in a household can have, because when that one person isn't around, everyone else has to step up and look after the pet.

And the winner of the argument "Should we get a dog" should always be the person who doesn't want a dog.

I don't like cats. DP is a massive cat person. I always said I didn't want a cat, so we didn't get a cat. Over lockdown I made a decision that we could get a cat. I had stipulations, I would not be responsible for the cat, I would not feed it, I would not deal with its litter tray. And it would not be allowed in our bedroom.

I made those three demands with the assumption that they would be broken, and that I would have to deal with that stuff, because I would be a pet owner. To be fair to DP and DD, they've been very good about the first two. I end up having to feed the cat maybe once every few months (the cat luckily thinks I'm too thick to open the food cupboard), and I've never had to deal with the litter box. The cat is currently sat on the end of my bed because lets be fair, that one was unrealistic on my part.

I still don't like cats. I do however love our cat, because that is part of pet ownership. I still dislike owning a cat, but that's noones fault but my own, because it was my choice.

Say no!

My DH wants one too. I told him if he gets one, it will be HIS dog and I will NEVER walk it, nor let it out to use the toilet. Not ever. So if he wants one, he needs to make it work independently. I carry the mental load for the children and pets we already have, and work FT. I will not take on any more responsibility. End of.

I would already be fuming having a partner smoking when he has 4 children to care for. The dog would be an absolute no until he sorted out his money management and committed to take full care of it.