Wondering whether to ttc..is 7 yr age gap too much

7 years between me and dsis (who is the middle child) and she's also my best friend.

6 year age gap between ds and dd. Ds doted on her as a baby, helped me entertain and care for her as she developed, and is now able to babysit her while me and dh go out for some time together! She's also now at the age where she really looks up to him, and they play together quite nicely (despite him being a grumpy teenager!)

I know someone who has a 7 year gap. Her DC1 loved having an excuse to play with Lego and Playmobil as a young teen in the pretence that it was all about playing with DC2.

Due to a bumpy TTC journey for no.2 we have 7 years between ours.

I had worried that they would be more like two only children than siblings, but they love each other, play and fight together — and the bond between them is lovely.

Maybe they’ll grow apart as they get older, but even siblings closer in age do that. Either way, they both love having each other in their lives (even if my eldest thought the youngest was “boring” at first as a newborn and asked if we could return him) 😂

My husband is far closer to his brother who is six years younger than him and share many interests (and now same friends they are older), than I am to my twin brother who I have absolutely nothing in common with and couldn't even tell you the last time we spoke.

I wouldn't get too hung up on days out and holidays, my husband and his brother managed plenty when they were younger and even though they had a large age gap they liked the same sports and music so it was easier for their parents to do things with them. I remember me and my twin doing seperate things with our parents simply because we were so different and had nothing in common.

I'm 8.5 years older than my sister. There will always be pros and cons to a bigger gap. I was old enough to look after myself to some degree by the time she was born. I could also help out a bit. And I was at school, so no multiple childcare costs.

But we weren't very close when she was younger (we are very close now). I was very used to being an only child and it was weird for me to suddenly have a baby in the house and not be the sole focus. Tbh though, I think it was good for me. I wasn't used to sharing and had to deal with it.

Ultimately, only you can decide if it's right for your family. But I know my parents don't regret the gap (they had issues ttc which is why there's a big gap). And I wouldn't swap my baby sis for the world ❤️

My brother and sister are seven and ten years older than me. It's not really something I'd give a second thought. They're unlikely to grow up playing together but really, so what? Plenty of siblings who are close in age can't stand each other and don't play together either.

Just to add, I'm sure my DM thought we were fine and that the gap between didn't matter. It didn't work for our family, but that's not to say that it doesn't for others.

There are 8 years between my sister and I. I was excited for her to come along, but when she did, my relationship with my DM changed drastically. Because of the age gap, I didn't have much of a relationship with my sister growing up.

Yes you do have a few years of that but you sort of just get on with it.
And sometimes it does mean you divide and conquer, go to the cinema and Dad goes with one child, Mum goes with the other.

Other family things like the beach or the zoo age doesn't matter.

Bowling one bowls, the other uses the ramps thing.

It's more of a pain with things that have height restrictions but that's always going to be an issue with siblings. And its not like you do stuff with height restrictions on a daily or weekly basis.
Places like Disney will let.you do parent swap which has the advantage older child gets to go twice (once with each parent)

It can be a little like raising two only children but that is what it is.

Well I suppose - when your older kid is doing stuff with her friends and not wanting to hang about with family and the younger is old enough to do reasonably good things…
I wouldn’t personally. Why upset a lovely dynamic

Think about holidays and days out.

Your child is now getting to the stage where she will want to do more fun grown up things. Being hampered by a baby/toddler and their needs will put a damper on that significantly.

Too much for whom?

I'd go for it. I'm the 3rd and last child of my parents. Between me and the eldest is 6.5 years. We are close as adults. Growing up we weren't into the same things, of course, but none of that matters for the majority of our lives - you don't notice gaps when grown! I'm so thankful I have my 2 siblings (3.5 years apart from the middle sibling btw)

My oldest sister was 7 years older than me and we got along well, she was like a little mum to me and I adored her. I wouldn't worry too much OP, your older DS will have his mates to play with and will probably be someone that a younger sibling will look up to and emulate.

I originally voted YABU, because in my own sphere of experience, I don't know anyone with this age gap and I know it wouldn't have worked for me. However, after reading the posts from other users detailing their own successful age gap DC, I've amended my vote to YANBU, and I agree that if you want another child, you should go for it!

I don't think there is an 'ideal' age gap. My DD1 was nearly 9 when dd2 came along. then when she went to school i had dd3, so 6 years difference there. They all get on well (they also have moments when they fight as sisters do).
I had plenty of early years bonding with each of them, and the older ones helped out with baby.

I have a 6.5 year age gap between mine and it has worked out wonderfully. Only one set of nursery fees at a time so better financially. They are also at different stages so they can both still benefit from plenty of individual attention, rather than trying to juggle baby & toddler. The older sibling loves to help teach the younger one. No jealousy at all as they're old enough to understand the needs of the baby.

When the baby was born, I was very conscious of making sure the older one still had plenty of time with us and I always try not to use the baby as a reason to say to no things, to avoid any resentment. I think I was even more aware of this as the older sibling was used to being an only child and I didn't want her to feel that suddenly all that attention was diverted.

I'd definitely do it all again with the same age gap 🙂

I agree with this and say yes at the end! Almost 8 year gap here, both boys.

When DS2 was a baby he was just carted around where we were taking DS1. By 3/4 it was separate films at the cinema and by 7/8 DS2 was 15/16 and out with friends, but they shared a hotel room on holiday. It’s better now at 24/17.

I disagree. I have 4 kids - my daughters are 13 and 7 and adore each other and spend loads of time playing together. Equally my sons do and they have an 8year age gap - in fact my oldest son has just gone out shopping to find a birthday present for his younger brother!

My eldest is 9, my youngest six and I'm 28 weeks pregnant. We get the gap we're given!

I’m currently in this exact situation, expecting DC2 when DS1 will be 6.5.

It’s just the way it worked out; I couldn’t have coped with a baby and a toddler and we couldn’t afford two sets of nursery fees, so we held off trying again until now. Our ages meant we couldn’t leave it any longer.

Our DS is desperate for a sibling; while I suspect the novelty of a baby may wear off very quickly, we hope they’ll be happy with each other. It’s a shame they won’t be close enough in age to be playmates, but we hope it’ll still work out well in the long term.

Op I'm blessed with 6 year gap. As they get bigger it gets easier.
They can actually go and watch the same film at the cinema.
Mine are both boys so have a joint interest in Star Wars.

But I think the key is finding stuff they can do together regardless of age and sex.
Ski, swim, if you can get them into martial arts then great.

One advantage is you don't have two doing exams or going through puberty and hormones flying everywhere at the same time.
Same with fees for nursery & uni!