Found out fiancé is married to someone else

355 replies

limewonder · 10/03/2025 21:10

Hi
I found out my DP of 4 years is married
The way I found out is his ex (not his wife, the one after her but before me) messaged me on facebook and told me as she’d seen our engagement post.

I’ve met his wife loads as they share kids (age 12&14 together). They split 9 years ago but apparently never sorted the divorce out.

Not sure what to make of this, i don’t know why he kept this from me. His excuse is that he forgot.? AIBU to demand he get a divorce or we’re over? I’m not even sure what his plan was here, marry me while still married to his ex?

OP posts:

Molstraat · 10/03/2025 21:17

Dump this liar.

BadBerlin · 10/03/2025 21:17

I’m not even sure what his plan was here, marry me while still married to his ex?

Wasn't this your very first question (after, is this true?!)?

How TF do you forget being married?!

Whyherewego · 10/03/2025 21:14

Hell of a thing to forget. It also means they are tied financially. If he dies intestate she gets everything and your joint finances may be taken into account for any financial order at this point.
He needs to divorce her. That's clear.
Whether or not you forgive this "forgetfulness" is up to you. Is this something he has form with ie forgetting important things? Do you think he's otherwise trustworthy?
My personal view is wait to see what he does from hereonin. Is he now taking initiative and booking appt with solicitor or applying for decree nisi? Or is he just shrugging shoulders going oops. If it seems genuine remorse and he's taking positive actions unprompted then maybe you can see how it goes. If he isn't really doing much then that tells you everything about him as a character

ToKittyornottoKitty · 10/03/2025 21:12

Do you own any property with him?

Ph3 · 10/03/2025 21:11

He forgot to tell you he is still legally married? That’s what the said to you?

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