Dh spending lots on daily lunches & coffees

How do your finances work in terms of disposable income?

but he is so selfish and denying his child things so he can eat lunch

I suspect that your partner/husband thinks that he works, so he can spend his money how he wishes to

Secondly, he probably doesn't care that he is spending lots on food

At some work places it is the ritual of all going to the
Canteen
Food truck that visits work
Into town for a meal deal

A pack lunch may be seen as the worst type of lunch

Can you cut your bills or expenses elsewhere?

Some banks are offering free money if you switch to their bank

PS
Buy soft rolls or bread, not baguettes for packed lunch

Did you tell him that he's frittering away more than €5000 per year?

This sounds like the tip of the iceberg.

My DH does this but gets expenses paid so not a problem. I've always taken lunch amd drinks to work with me, wouldn't have enough time to go out and buy anyway. Xx

This ! OP you need to sit down with DH and show him how it adds up - this could pay for a nice family holiday . You should not be struggling to do the supermarket shop if he is spending this each day - insanity!

👏

Why not ask him to take a flask of coffee, he could take another with soup in it, some fruit and that would be much cheaper.

I couldn't be with or have any respect for a man who chose to feed himself and treat himself whilst the food budget for the family was being cut.

Apart from the expense, I'd be worried about his health

I'm still shaking my head over this. €500 a month (and probably more; people always estimate low) on junk.

I like treats too but every day is a habit, not a treat.

Why does he think he's too good for supermarket food taken in a lunch pail? So what if he doesn't "like" sandwiches or wraps. Many a workman has made it through the day on a ham sandwich or two and an apple.

I think your DH is inconsiderate of his family. I don’t have a solution just feel annoyed on your behalf!

My ex did the same. Earnt half what I did but would spend £30 a week on coffees
I kept telling him to take a flash to work

Turns out he was cheating so likely using my salary to buy the ow coffee!

If you have savings, I’d go and take €6k out now. Show him the account so he sees the whopping great loss. Tell him what you’ve pissed it up the wall on – make sure it’s nothing that leaves something to show for it. Consumables. Frittered it here and there, DH. (Obviously don’t actually fritter it! Put it back once he’s got the point.)

If you don’t have savings, well, first of all you might if he weren’t doing this. Is there something you and DH always talk about but it’s financially out of reach? Daydream stuff like a round-the-world trip. Extension. Swimming pool. Retiring a bit early. Uni fees or house deposit for DD. 10 years of €6k frittering is €60k! You could HAVE the thing! If he’s visual, show him: catalogue of the thing with it circled and a date. If he’s analytical, spreadsheet with compound interest on all this.

I’m all for little treats, I am QUEEN of little treats. But the point of a little treat is it’s occasional. You can’t have a little treat for breakfast, lunch, after work and smoke it throughout the day. Then it’s just an everyday thing and you need a little treat on top of all that!

All this is is habit. Takes 21 days to make or break. If you can find a carrot/stick and get him on board with the €60k sign flashing in his eyes for the THING, three weeks of hardcore lunchbox regime and nicotine patches to quit and limiting beers to once a week, you might break the old habit. Maybe.

What an utter bastard he is, to prioritise himself over his kids nutrition needs.

We’ve tried before to do lunches taken from home, but the large lunch boxes I buy go missing

Fucking hell he sounds like a 12 YO who thinks the way to get you to buy him the 'in' coat that 'everyone else' has is to 'lose' the perfectly decent coat he already has.

Agree with most others. This level of spending is a luxury that should come out of his personal money after all joint household costs are accounted for and that all genuinely spare money should be split 50/50 so you both have the same amount to spend or save as you wish.

He's currently showing you that he thinks his wants are more important than the family's needs let alone you or DD being able to have anything nice yourselves.

@Ohitspastagainisit he's pissing nearly 7k a year up the wall.

I dont think there is anything wrong in having the odd treat if you have the disposable income, but buying booze, fags, pastries, coffees and lunches five days per week seems absurb and a total waste of money.

If I dont have leftovers from the night before I buy myself lunch (approx 2-3 times per week), but DP is vegan and we eat vegetarian dinners, so by the time I source and pay meat for one person's lunch I am probably only saving myself a few quid a week, not to mention all the faff of keeping the meat seperate. And a good meat lunch is my one treat. I dont smoke and I am rarely at the pub, and I have cut down on the coffees.

Buy paper or biodegradeable bags to send a sandwich with and a couple of bpa free to do coffee cups .. with a lid and just send it off with him. I have to prep for everyone and I know they wouldn't do it if I didn't but we save a fortune and it's much better . It's his habit but might need help breaking

Sorry, have just seen that you work part-time.

OP, do you work?