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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to speak to parents or school about this?

62 replies

OceanStorm · 10/03/2025 16:19

DS is in reception and came home today saying a girl he has been good friends with since nursery has said their mum has told her 'girls play with girls and boys play with boys'. The family are Muslim and have seemed nice up until then.

AIBU to say something to school or parents?

OP posts:
Jade520 · 10/03/2025 16:46

Tell him you don't agree and that he can play with anyone who wants to play with him. Does he have other friends to play with if she no longer wants to play with him?

Wishyouwerehere50 · 10/03/2025 16:43

School will not touch this with a bloody barge pole if you make the suggestion it's related to religion.
I don't like this myself but I think what can anyone do here.
The school will learn quickly what their views are and it's on them to challenge it, if they dare to in this climate.

That's if that's what is going on.

All I would do is educate your own child according to your values.

Jellycatspyjamas · 10/03/2025 16:42

It’s fairly normal for kids to go through a phase of playing with kids of the same sex. It’s hardly extremist.

Original poster
OceanStorm · 10/03/2025 16:39

@Maray1967 I think those opinions are completely different from preventing 4 year olds from playing with each other due to their sex

OP posts:
Maray1967 · 10/03/2025 16:36

OceanStorm · 10/03/2025 16:31

I know you're being sarcastic but this could form a prevent referral i.e extreme ideology against British values

Well then I’d need to refer several families I know who have said similar - they are all white. I don’t agree - but I don’t think it would be classed as extreme. Old fashioned, but not extreme. You’d need to refer anyone who thinks that mums should be SAHMs and not work. Or that women should not serve in the military.

W0tnow · 10/03/2025 16:33

OceanStorm · 10/03/2025 16:31

I know you're being sarcastic but this could form a prevent referral i.e extreme ideology against British values

There are plenty of knuckle dragging non-Muslim dads who would say this sort of thing.

Ph3 · 10/03/2025 16:32

I think that would be overreacting at this stage. Tell your child that it’s ok to play with who you want to play with. If the other child’s behaviour becomes a problem I’m sure the school will address it.

Original poster
OceanStorm · 10/03/2025 16:31

I know you're being sarcastic but this could form a prevent referral i.e extreme ideology against British values

OP posts:
craigth162 · 10/03/2025 16:31

Not really seeing the issue? Not something I would say to my child but hardly a big deal

9fthighfence · 10/03/2025 16:31

OceanStorm · 10/03/2025 16:19

DS is in reception and came home today saying a girl he has been good friends with since nursery has said their mum has told her 'girls play with girls and boys play with boys'. The family are Muslim and have seemed nice up until then.

AIBU to say something to school or parents?

It’s a sort of misogyny ingrained in some more traditional Muslim families. I’d suggest he finds new friends.

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 10/03/2025 16:30

I wouldn't be sending my child in the next day. I'd definitely move schools and probably move house too.

Ablondiebutagoody · 10/03/2025 16:29

Yes, definitely confront her parents 🙄