18 year old solo traveler. Would you allow this?

It's not up to you to allow it anymore, only whether or not you fund it.

If you're able to fund it and your DS is already feeling sheltered as you say, refusing on the grounds that you're nervous about him going on his own is only going to build more resentment towards you.

Why does he not have his own money at 18? I'd saved up to fund a month in Ibiza post A-Levels. My parents had no issues with me going, but they wouldn't have been able to stop me if they did.

What will you do if he gets a job, saves all his money for 6 months and goes anyway? Let him have fun while he's young.

At his age I couldn’t think of anything worse than organised group travel. He will make friends, I know I did. Sometimes I traveled in a group (of my choosing) and sometimes I went my own way. I understand your worry but you trying to control things is what he’s trying to get away from. What you can ask of him is to keep in regular contact and in return you will do your best not to let your anxiety cloud his first foray into independence.

He’s 18, he can and should go!
I do think YABU funding him though. Nothing wrong with saying you’ll pay for a flight home if needed, but these kids have got to learn how to stand on their own two feet.

Christ some of these replies are unnecessarily nasty.

I think it's great that you want to encourage your son to spread his wings, despite your own anxieties.

It is absolutely fine for you to support him going alone if that is what he wants to do. You won't be being a negligent parent (I think this is what you are worrying about? Whether it is a normal thing to do at 18?).

I think a PPs suggestion of a short trip as a trial run is a great idea.

Oh I think it's fab that despite your limitations (understandably, I'm not criticising), he has the confidence to do this alone. Brilliant.

He's an adult, if he feels confident enough and is sensible then I don't see the issue. Particularly based on the countries he's interested in.
I went travelling in my early 20s but not on my own because I'm not very good at making friends and thought I'd be lonely having no one to share the experience with. Logistically I would have been fine though in terms of planning, financing, navigating.

let him go! and if you are able to contribute even better. What a fantastic opportunity - to see, to learn, to build up awareness. Maybe he'll be mugged or pickpocketed but even then that's ok - that can happen on our streets too.
I travelled throughout Asia, as a female traveller and often alone and had a wonderful experience. If you stay in hostels you meet loads of people along the way

She's paying. She can insist on anything she likes.

How sheltered are we talking? Has he never been on a plane or to a different country at all before?

If so I agree they maybe booking one country, there and back, would be the best thing as a trial run. Then a longer trip.

However it is a lot easier to travel now than even 10 years ago. Google maps means you'll hardly ever get lost, phones can translate everything, I've been to both Denmark and rome in the last 6 months and everywhere was card payments so you don't even have to worry about converting currency. Even train and plane tickets there's no need to print or pick up anything, its all on your phone.

For this reason I'd make sure he takes either a spare old phone or at least another device capable of using wifi (tablet etc - good for watching tv and reading while travelling anyway) - because otherwise as a single traveller its a nightmare if your phone gets stolen!

Bear in mind rome will be HEAVING and boiling in the middle of summer so if he does want to go maybe go there first (as soon as he finished exams)?

I already said in another comment, that if the OP is prepared to gift this experience to her son, having admitted she's held him back and sheltered him for so long, then giving a gift with limitations will only stifle him further. And it risks hurting their relationship. She should rightly advise him and help him to research but otherwise as an adult, who really needs to spread his own wings, she shouldn't try to control.

Scandinavia and Rome (although he should see more of Italy too) would be easy places to go to but depending on what he does / his interests he could still get a lot out of it. Learning the language (especially for Italy) would be beneficial, longer stay better than just a weekend but if he has never even been abroad no problem with starting with just a weekend trip.

Scandinavia is a vast place with many possibilities — does he want to try winter sports, just visit cities, do something more intrepid (and potentially dangerous) like track polar bears?

Having read your update, I am going to reiterate - I think this will be a useful and interesting learning experience for him. I think a shorter trip to test the waters first is a good idea though. Just like I let DS take the train one stop down to a friend, then he took a slightly longer route to get to his activity and this summer, i supsect he and his buddies will be going into London. It's about building up experience.

A few other things:

Depending on where he is going, look into rail passes. I don't know about in Scandanavia but certainly in Europe (by country or even across borders) a pre-booked rail pass is a brilliant option and purchased in advance means you don't have to worry about him struggling to get places or spending too much because he's got on the wrong train. Many countries in Europe do deals as well at certain times so, for example, if he wants to start with italy, he can research that.

Book himself into youth hostels - they're often very central, reasonably priced and a great way to meet other young people. I would be shocked if there isn't also handy apps out there that shows local hostels as he's out and about!

I think it's fantastic that he wants to travel and see a bit of the world. Help him make a plan and book hostels, make sure he's got good insurance and keeps in touch. Scandinavian countries and Rome are a good start, safe and easy to get home if need be. Lots of hostels have forums where he can chat and meet other youngsters travelling and find out about events and excursions for when he's there. It's a great opportunity for him to spread his wings!

If he wants to go alone, then let him go alone.

But, as pp, suggested, some scaffolding would be good. Long weekend in Rome to try out solo traveling, then maybe later in the summer a few weeks in Scandinavia if that's what he wants. Scandinavia is less of a typical backpacker destinations, so there might not be as many other backpackers to meet, but the ones he will meet are probably less likely to be the 24/7 party types, which might suit him well.

If the OP would be paying, it still is her choice.

https://www.smartraveller.gov.au/news-and-updates/safety-tips-solo-travellers

Has he done research about where he wants to go, read up on customs, things of interest, where is dangerous etc? He should be at least reading travel forums If not trying to chat to people who've been to these places or are there now.

If he's staying in backpacker type hostels then he's bound to make some friends. There are plenty of solo travellers on that scene.

I'd say it can only do him good. He'll get to experience new things and will learn a lot.
If it goes tits up he can always just come home.

But if he's going away for months rather than weeks he should try and earn his own money somehow along the way.

This is not the way to build independence your child. He should save the money - obviously - that is part and parcel of showing he is responsible enough to go. Put your money in a LISA to grow for his future and help him get a job now is my advice!

I hope you recognise that you should have no say in this whatsoever. He's an adult and shouldn't be told what to do by his mum!

https://www.abta.com/tips-and-advice/staying-safe-on-holiday/advice-for-young-holidaymakers

He will be fine. Scandinavia and Italy are no more dangerous than the UK. I assume your son will use common sense and follow standard safety advice. I have travelled alone in far more perilous countries.

My son went traveling alone at 18 for 3 months went again at 19 and met is now husband while back packing in cuba both from the same area but met there we all say it was meant to be.
They flew home together it gets strange because his parents live in the next street to us whats the odds of meeting you husband thousands of miles away yet you both grow up in the same town and still live there.
Sorry folks i love romance.
Its more of how grown up they are how mature they are my son was sensible not all the time he was no angle but he was sensible most of the time.

I think it’s fine that he wants to go alone. Don’t try to further restrict him. Help him plan and discuss how he will keep safe on the trip. I’d be reassured that he’s looking at European travel for his first solo trip, rather than the far east or South America.

It depends how generally capable and competent he is, but if he's never travelled before, it might be sensible to start off in an organised group.

Camp America and similar programs are a good way to earn a little money to pay for the travel, and experience life abroad but with some organisational back-up.

What about a cruise, he’d be able to visit several places in one trip with the stability of a ship… wouldn’t have to pack and unpack, worry about getting from one place to the next and could do organised excursions too if he wanted.