18 year old solo traveler. Would you allow this?

Lots of 18-year-olds travel alone. My friend's son and daughter both travelled around Europe solo at that age - they went interrailing I think. There is absolutely no reason why an 18-year-old would find it at all difficult to travel in Europe.

One of my own friends went travelling in India alone at 18 and another travelled alone at that age in Nepal.

My ds started on his passion for travel at this age and went interrailing round Europe with a friend. He said afterwards that next time he would go alone as the two of them didn't get on quite as well as they thought they would and actually his friend expected him to do all the arranging and speaking up when they went anywhere, which started to be a pain. Friend also moped around wanting to talk to his girlfriend back home all the time. Ds went by himself after that and has travelled all over the world now, and his confidence has just built so much because of doing that - he has met people from all countries and has so much experience of the world now. I'd say as long as your ds books the first few places to stay so you know where he is to start with and then checks in with you when he can, lets you know when he will be out of contact sometimes so you don't worry - you'll be fine.

Ds also found, once he had travelled further, it's been a great thing to put on his cv or tell people at interview and it's often been a great bonding thing with new people. When he met his current partner, that was one of the big things they had in common, they had both travelled solo a lot, and they are always planning new trips now.

Lots of my DC's friends did this (although they funded their own trips). I think it's fine.

One suggestion might be for you to meet him at one point of his travels e.g. have a few days in Rome with him. That will enable you to see he is doing ok, and hopefully help you to break out of your comfort zone too.

The world is full of young travellers OP. Youth hostels are great- when I travelled alone I couldn’t get a minute to myself in the hostels. He’ll meet people straight away and won’t be travelling alone for long (unless he wants to). He just needs to do a little research as to where the other young travellers congregate. And use common sense etc about the people he trusts/ makes friends with ie stick with people his own age. Letting him go and spread his wings is the greatest education and gift you could ever give him. I think if you’re anxious then stipulating that he contacts you every day is a reasonable request. Of course you don’t have to pay for anything, but I firmly believe that gifts should not come with restrictive conditions.

Have a look at ‘intrepid’ or ‘g adventures’ - small group travel with a guide. Very much still ‘travelling’ but with an experienced guide and a small group of people. - a quick scout throws up this for example https://www.intrepidtravel.com/uk/italy/rome-amalfi-160213

I’ve been to India and Guatemala with that company - great groups, well led - and they’re really on it with letting you know what you need in advance (advise about equipment / insurance etc)

let him go, but encourage him to scaffold his first trips as much as possible while he finds his feet in the world.

I agree. I like to have the odd organised thing in a situation like this - because I am actually quite good at chatting with random strangers etc - but then head off to my own accomodation or to do my own thing later. I'd HATE a fully planned organised trip.

And I agree, even if he does spent the vast bulk of it sitting in a plaza in the center of rome drinking overpriced coffees - it's still an experience foro him and one that, from all accounts, he's not had before.

My dd travelled solo when she was 21, she was much more vulnerable as a female than a male.
What countries is he thinking of?

He will most likely meet people and make friends if he stays in hostels in capital cities.

The only request I made to my dd was that she replied with at least an emoji within the day if I texted her, as I didn't want to go to sleep not having bad a reply.

I only texted her every few days for my own sanity, but then she ended up having a few issues and was ringing me for help and support anyway.

Tbh it didn't feel much different to when my all my dcs moved away to cities in the UK for university. It's part of life.

Sitting by yourself in a cafe is not the end of the world!

Although I do love the idea of OP going along too. 🙂

Exactly. An organised tour is probably the worst thing that he could do!

We have travelled all over the world and personally think Rome is not a good first time destination due to pick pockets being more prolific. I went on one of those continkii tours for young adults with something like visiting 14 countries in 18 days and it was Rome and Madrid they drummed into us to be more careful.

start of small - send him to bath for the weekend to see the Roman baths etc - see how he feels travelling on his own.

Get the best travel insurance you can and if you're paying he needs to understand you call the shots. I wouldn't agree to pay for everything though, he needs to put some effort into it. He will be much more responsible if he's had to earn some of it.

Yes. Travelling at your own pace in your own company is fantastic for introverts. They don't need organised group activities.

Someone said 'think if he’s quite shy and introvert an organised trip would be ideal'.

Im in my sixties and am quite shy and introverted. The thought of an organised trip in the company of strangers for days on end fills me with dread. I recently turned down the offer of an absolute bargain price cruise round the South Pacific because the ship only had 100 passengers.

When I travel I like to be anonymous in a huge crowd, able to make my own choices and decisions not tied to someone else's schedule.

I hope he has a brilliant time.

And I hope it inspires you and heartens you, OP. It's a lovely thing that you're doing for him. Please don't do yourself down; we do what we are able to do at the time and you're helping him to spread his wings now. You can provide him with the funds and perhaps a bit of advice, but to be honest the value will be in him working this stuff out for himself.

Western Union, consulates, are useful things to have in mind for an emergency, but I'm sure he'll be fine.

I'll probably get flamed for this but here goes!

He's shy and inexperienced for starters so I'd be saying that he needs to get a summer job here and save up to go travelling at a later time. Part of being sheltered is not mixing with a wide variety of people or fully understanding the financial responsibilities of adulthood. If he gets a full time job in a factory, pub or shop, he'll rub up against all sorts of people and also realise how hard you have to work to earn £10 an hour.

If you want to help him financially, you could offer to match-fund him until he has enough for a short trip somewhere.

As OP is paying she gets a big say.

When he pays his own way she gets no say.

Definitely let him go, but have him organise his trip and have a specific amount of money needed and if possible encourage him to have goals eg see the coloseum, hike a glacier, maintain an travel blog (or whatever the kids are doing these days) etc. Give him just enough, but make sure you have enough to fly out in an emergency. Make sure there’s a way to send him money if needed.

Hope that helps your anxiety and his experience!

Buy him an interrail pass; they come in various different forms but give the traveller flexibility, so even if he runs out of money he'll have the wherewithal to get home...

His travel will be restricted to European countries, so not too challenging, and he can book into hostels as he travels, where he'll meet other young travellers.

It will really develop his self-reliance and independence while not leaving him half way across the world and out of reach

Oh blimey, I didn't read the full thread and thought you meant backpacking in India or something! He will be absolutely fine - encourage him!

I think since op is funding the travel (or not) - she does get a say as she can just withhold the cash. I would not be inclined to pay for something if I thought it risked my child’s safety - adult or not.

My daughter did this at a similar age. She wanted to visit 2nd WW sites and museums and none of her friends were interested so she went alone for three weeks. She interailed and mostly stayed in hostels. It was so good for her - most of the time things went smoothly and the couple of hitches were easily sorted out with access to the internet to rebook things and the help of google translate.

However IDK she was particularly sheltered, if he is that might make a difference. DD was used to travelling London, the wider UK and Ireland on her own or with friends. But on balance, I think if he wants to do it you should let him, don't hold him back.

I think some people are being unnecessarily harsh. The OP acknowledges that this is her fault and is trying to do her best now.

I think if he’s quite shy and introvert an organised trip would be ideal, he’d have a group of people to mix with, share experiences with and just get along with. If for example he goes to Rome himself then there’s a risk he could just end up sitting in a cafe/bar/hostel himself which is kinda not the point of the trip:

could you go to Rome with him? Push yourself out of your comfort zone? Make a memory

Good point re money - we recently had some young adult family members visiting from another country and I was quite surprised that they turne dup wiht cash!

He needs to get himself something like a Revolut card and then on his phone he can create accounts with different currencies - it's a very inexpensive way to spend money on a card in other countries and provides a lot of transparency on exactly how much it is costing him. I think this would be particularly helpful if he's not used to travelling in other coutnries or using other currencies.

You can't stop him but I can understand your concern.

There are holiday companies that do trips for young people but if that's too structured for him there are Facebook pages for solo travellers (and if he's staying in hostels he will meet other young people who he may travel on with or just hang out with for a few days).

At 18, you don't get to "allow" it - he doesn't need permission.
He wants to go to safe and easy countries, I genuinely don't see the problem.
I hope he has a lovely time (he will!).